


Something Borrowed

by lostinnowhereland



Series: Pain Is... [1]
Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Baking, Best Friends, Break Up, Bullying, Childhood Friends, Christmas Fluff, Dark Past, Dirty Talk, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Football Player Louis, Football | Soccer, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, High School AU, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Mysterious Past, Nightmares, PTSD, Past Abuse, Past Near Death Experiences, Past Suicide Attempt, Past Violence, Past minor character death, Picnic, Possessive Louis, Rough Sex, School Dance, Secrets, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Smut, Some Humor, Surprise Ending, Suspense, Teasing, Teenage Drama, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love, implied self harm, possible triggers, proposal, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-12 10:05:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinnowhereland/pseuds/lostinnowhereland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mercy Peterson knows a lot about pain.  She's felt it, tasted it, breathed it.  With a dark past that's been buried within the confines of her own mind, her only salvation is her best friend, Louis Tomlinson.  Still strife with the hurt that had caused irreparable damage, Louis managed to put her broken pieces back together.</p><p>Years later and Mercy's not hopelessly in love with her best friend.  No, not at all.  Except...she is.  But Louis had Eleanor, perfect El.  Why would he ever want Mercy?  But what if he did?  What if she gathered enough courage to tell him?  Maybe, just maybe, Louis would say those three little words back and maybe, just maybe she'll finally know what true happiness feels like. Then nothing could tear them apart...right?  Not even the past that forced their meeting in the first place and the earth shattering announcement made by their parents.  Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is all completely fictional. I really wanted to write a fic with Louis because I haven't used him or Niall as the main male character/love interest yet and this is what I came up with. I hope you all like it! I really like writing it so far and there are a few twists and turns I hope no one sees coming. 
> 
> Also, I have nothing against Eleanor as I don't know anything about her except that she's dating Louis (supposedly-sorry, I ship LouisandHarry. But if she and Louis are together and he's happy then that's fine with me). Anyways, she seems really nice and like I said, I have nothing against her whatsoever, it just serves my purpose for her to be kind of a bitch in this story.
> 
> And, I know I don't really say it but safe sex hooray! Remember condoms and birth control are friends :).
> 
> So now that I've rambled considerably longer than I usually do, I really hope you enjoy! Leave comments and Kudos pretty please! I love them and they make my day! Love you all and thank you for reading my lovely people!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will contain some triggering aspects later on. I've tagged all the warnings I could think of but I thought I should post this warning as well to make sure that it's understood that this story contains plotlines that may very well trigger a negative reaction due to the content.

** Prologue **

_You want to know what pain is?  Pain is in the soft sound of his voice as he whispers my name, the syllables falling from perfect lips as if they were meant to be spoken by them and only them.  It's the light brush of his fingertips over the curve of my cheek, memorizing the way that my skin feels against his hand._

_Pain is the way that his mouth envelops mine in a gentle kiss that silently screams of passion, of love, of adoration.  It's the way that his tongue gently pushes through my parted lips to slide against mine and set my soul on fire from just the barest of touches._

_No longer will pain be the yearning I feel when he is gone but the feeling of floating in the heavens when he is near.  It will be how his captivating eyes gaze into mine, mesmerizing me to a point where there is no hope of ever looking away, holding onto my heart forever even when he decides he no longer wants it._

****

** Chapter 1 **

 

Mercy's POV:

The thing is, you can't ever take your eyes off of him.  Not with the way that he moves, not with the way that his smile brightens the room and his mere presence seems to lift the gray clouds suffocating you when you're in a funk.  No, Louis Tomlinson is not a person anyone can hate unless it is out of pure unadulterated jealousy.  On or off the field Louis is graceful, beautiful, eye catching.  Every girl wants him and every guy wants to be him.  I can't say I blame them.  Even having been his friend since I was eleven and he was twelve hadn't dimmed the rays of brilliance that he just radiated in spades.  Plus, I mean, have you seen his perfect, round ass?

In all honesty Louis dazzled me.  From his tattoos to his natural ability at soccer (footy to him, silly brit :)) to his captivating blue eyes and his gorgeous face Louis positively entranced me.  He was my best friend in the entire world and I couldn't help but think he was the most perfect person to ever set foot on the planet.  It had nothing to do with the fact that I was in love with him.  Nope, not at all.  Because I wasn't.  I wasn't in love with my best friend who-sometimes-had a gorgeous girlfriend.

No, what I was doing was yelling and screaming his name in encouragement from the sidelines with our friends as he skillfully dodged an offender, sorry, no, it's a defender.  Not all that up to speed on this stuff despite Lou's best efforts over the years.  I can follow the basics but that's all I'm really good for.  I know enough to understand what's going on but if you asked me to explain it to you then there'd be no way.

"Shit," Niall cussed when a member from our team lost the ball to an opposing player.  I was impressed, that was pretty tame for the Irish man.

"Shit, fuck, cunt.  Get the fucking ball back!" he shouted.  Aaaannd I spoke too soon.  I smiled to myself from where I sat in the bleachers, watching the game unfold before me, my eyes practically glued to Louis.  The way that the muscles and tendons in his legs worked to propel him forward, the flick of his wrist as he kicked with the ball and the fancy twirl he did to escape another opponent, it was all so fascinating.  It was as if he was made solely to be out on that field.

Under the bright lights that seemed to make him glow, Louis was untouchable.  His caramel brown hair shone under the illumination of stadium lights and his muscles rippled beneath the tanned skin that gleamed with perfection.  He was a soccer god just as much as he was a sex god, that was for sure.  He really was the sun because all of the players, all of his friends, everyone, naturally gravitated towards him.

"I still don't understand why she has to be such a bitch all the time.  You're his best friend, it stands to reason that you should be able to wear his jersey.  Especially considering how often they break up.  Honestly," Lottie huffed beside me, pursing her lips petulantly, her arms firmly crossed over her chest and her legs tightly pressed together as to avoid being stepped on by one of the boys.  They were currently hollering at a bad call made by the stout ref on the sidelines.

I laughed and rolled my eyes before they flicked over to where Eleanor sat with her friends, trying and failing to subtly glare up at me from where she sat.  Lottie wasn't a big Eleanor fan.  I wasn't either, but that wasn't something that I could or would be open about with Louis.  He had to love Lottie, she was his little sister, he didn't have to put up with me nagging about Eleanor.  El did enough nagging for a lifetime anyways. 

I was the objective, third party outsider who just wanted him to be happy; even if it meant me dying a little bit inside every time I saw them together or thought about what they did.  Lou wasn't squeamish about sharing details and the masochist in me let him talk about it.  I wasn't squeamish about sex either, trust me, I was all for it, orgasms are great....I've just never experienced any of it.  It's a miracle that I've even had my first kiss.  No make outs for me.  Not one.  A kiss is as far as I've gotten and it didn't even include tongue.  Doesn't mean I don't want it to happen.  My scarred and beaten heart just pumping with the hope that maybe Louis would finally look at me "that way" and be all my firsts.

"Why're you so annoyed by it?  I'm the one she's glaring at," I pointed out, my sleeve falling a bit, hitching up my wrist.  I sucked in a breath and yanked it over my hand, grateful for the volatile weather in the UK that allowed me to wear long sleeves under Louis's too big jersey.  Lottie caught the movement but just pressed her lips together, ignoring it in favor of arguing with me.

That's the thing about Lottie, she knew when to pick moments for a conversation.  Next to Louis, she was my best friend despite her being in the year below me, Lou, Liam and Zayn.  I don't what it was about the Tomlinsons and me, they were just so freaking lovable.  From Louis to his mom and the little twins and everyone in between.  I just wished that their dad had stuck around to see how awesome they all are and Jay didn't have to raise the kids all on her own.

"Because she's an insufferable twat who shouldn't be messing with my brother and I like you better," Lottie giggled, her cheeks flushed pink from the chilly air.  I smiled and threw an arm around her shoulders, hugging her to me just as Louis made the winning goal of the game, sending the crowd into a roar of celebration.

I jolted out of my seat, screaming with them, cheering as Louis was converged on by his teammates.  Zayn happily gathered Liam up in his arms while Niall and Harry threw themselves at each other excitedly, jumping up and down.  I couldn't tear my eyes from Louis as he was raised up, his grin infectious as he searched the stands.  I thought that he would try and find El but he was looking right at me, pumping his fist in the air.  I grinned and copied him in encouragement before attention was drawn to Coach Cowell having ice cold water dumped over his head.

I could practically hear Louis's racuous laughter from where I was, I'd heard it so many times, the way that he threw his head back in utter mischief and enjoyment.  He was finally set on his feet and he pelted towards the stands, eagerly rounding the fence for the bleachers.  El went down to meet him, giddily congratulating her on again off again boyfriend.  At the moment they were off-as far as I knew, those two broke up and got back together so fast I had whiplash more often than not-but that could all change depending on how they reacted to each other.

Louis went in for a hug and I internally groaned.  If he was trying to get her back then that was not the way to go.  Lottie actually muttered, "Idiot." when she saw the disaster unfolding below us.  Eleanor cringed, wrinkling her little nose over Lou's sweat soaked jersey as beads of the salty liquid dripped down his face.  He rolled his eyes and pulled back, heading up to the rest of us instead.

Lottie hopped away, making her excuses so she wouldn't get sweat all over her from her brother.  I felt like I was the only one who didn't care because to me, everything about Louis was perfect; even his sweat.  Urgh, fuck me, I was so screwed.  Heh, I wish he would fuck me, well make love to me; then we could get to the hot, rough stuff.  Sorry, not the point.

"Great jo-," my compliment was cut off as I was enveloped in Louis's muscular arms and my face was pressed into his neck.  Louis may not have been very tall but he still had a good five inches on me.  He smelled like grass and sweat and a faint hint of the cologne he wears but mostly he just smelled like Louis.

"Hey, there's a party being thrown in my honor, you have got to be there.  Will you wait for me?" Louis requested, pulling away to push his bangs-or fringe-out of his piercing blue eyes.  They were boring into my hazel ones imploringly, tipping his head to the side.

"Yeah, alright, go shower, you stink," I laughed, rolling my eyes and gently pushing his shoulder.

"Thanks babe, see you in a little bit," Louis grinned, pecking my cheek before attempting to dart off towards the locker rooms before gangly arms shot out and wrapped themselves around the smaller boy.

"LOU!  You did so good!" Harry practically shouted right in his ear, hugging Louis tightly to his chest looking like a flushed baby deer.  Haz was so freaking adorable all I really wanted to do was run my fingers through his chocolate brown curls as he nuzzled into me like the little kitten he was.

"Gerroff me you bloody wanker!" Louis complained, a smile contradicting his words.  Harry seemed to just squeeze him harder before he finally set Lou free, making sure his feet were firmly back on the ground before letting go and allowing his prey to escape.

I watched fondly as Louis agilely loped back to his lingering teammates before heading off to the locker room.  I steeled myself before stumbling my way down to ground so I could go hang out outside the locker room to wait for Louis like a silly little puppy dog.  But I would do anything for him, no matter how pathetic and I knew he would do anything for me.

Lottie suddenly appeared beside me, popping up out of nowhere just like her brother had a habit of doing sometimes.  Too used to it, I just grimly acknowledged the slightly younger girl as I fought my way through the onslaught of the crowd trying to head the opposite way.

"Maybe you shouldn't wait out there.  What if you run into Max?" Lottie asked, her voice as low as she could get it while still being audible.  I almost stopped short but pushed on anyways and shrugged my shoulders.

"It's not a big deal," I told her, ignoring the snort that tore it's way from her throat.

"If you say so.  I'll see you guys later, I've gotta go meet up with Amy," Lottie announced, her eyes glued to her phone.  I cocked an eyebrow in response when we finally reached the school hallways.

"Apparently Jenny's stalking James again and I have to go stop Amy from killing Jenny," Lottie explained.  I nodded as if I understood anything she just said when in reality I had no idea who the hell she was talking about.  The only reason I knew who Amy was, was because she and Lottie were really close.  I assumed that maybe James was Amy's boyfriend or something.

"Okay, if I don't see you later, I'll see you tomorrow when your mom leaves for work," I replied, giving my friend what I hope was an encouraging smile before we hugged and parted, heading in two separate directions.

The sounds of my footsteps echoed throughout the hallways, resounding off the empty walls and filling my ears.  The quiet solitude with nothing but the sound of my footfalls and the rapid beating of my heart gave the school an eerie feel that I couldn't quite shake as I rounded the corner.  I leaned against the brick wall across from the locker rooms, plucking my phone from my pocket to pretend I was actually doing something as guys began slowly filing into the corridor.

I was pretty sure that most of the boys were gone by then and I stood there, fiddling with the touchscreen of my cell, wishing that Louis would hurry his perfect ass up.  I was getting tired of waiting, patience wasn't really one of my virtues at times, and anxiousness was starting to well up inside of me, bubbling to the surface, torturing my brain with implausible scenarios.

I sighed and pushed my fingers through my wavy light brown hair, tipping my head back and closing my eyes.  I felt the cold brick seep through the layer of wavy locks at the back of my neck onto my skin.  I felt as if I really tried I could melt into the wall and just stay there comfortably in a sleepy existence.  Part of me hoped it would happen so I wouldn't have to deal with the aching in my chest from the love that pumped through my veins but couldn't be spoken.

Only at times when I was alone, mostly at night, could I just acknowledge that pain and let it bleed out.  It was in my bones, in every little piece of my being and it clawed it's way to the surface, begging to be set free.  I couldn't though.  I couldn't let it free and that deep seated love, the one that I didn't even have more than a shred of hope of sharing, just kept gnawing at me. 

The butterflies and that rush of heat every time Louis looked at me or touched me in a certain way, it made that pain worth it.  Don't ask me how so little could make the perpetual nagging of that stupid, stupid love worth it.  I'm not entirely sure.  All I know is that Louis is what I want.  His happiness means more to me than my own and if he doesn't want me the way that I want him then I'll settle for being his friend.  I've always been his friend first and foremost and I always would be.  I wasn't going to ruin the one thing I had because I needed Louis in my life whether he felt the same way or not.

I heard the door open and the footsteps but they were too loud and heavy to be Louis's.  The gait was different, Louis was light on his feet, it was one of the things that made him so brilliant at footy.  So I ignored it, I didn't think anything of it until I felt someone's presence right in front of me and the distinct, rancid smell of a cologne that I'd recognize anywhere.

"Hello Max," I sighed without opening my eyes.  I could practically see the leer he gave me, even before I opened my eyes to find that I was right.

"Mercy," he replied his brown eyes so dark they were almost black as they raked over my body despite the fact that the curves I did have were concealed by the slightly too big jersey of Louis's that I was wearing.

"What do you want?" I inquired.  Max wasn't someone I really wanted to see well...ever.  He was pervy and disgusting and I regretted ever thinking otherwise when I went on a date with him a week before in a lame attempt to get over Lou.

"You," was the answer he gave me as he stepped closer.  We were almost chest to chest with the small movement and my heart began thumping even faster, my pulse racing from him being so near.  I had to give him credit for not being as lude as he could have been considering his track record but it was one of the most cliche pick up lines.  Sure, if it had been Louis I would have practically fainted with the need to drag him somewhere and rip all of his clothes off.  But it wasn't.

"And I want an audience with the queen but that's two things that'll never happen.  Now, are you gonna move or what?" I demanded, pushing myself up the wall.  I was at the full extent of my height then and Max still towered over me, his long, lanky body intimidating.  I pressed myself further back.

Max leaned over, his face lowering, "I'd rather stay here with your legs wrapped around me."  I shivered and pinned myself to the bricks until it hurt, eager to get away from him but having nowhere to run.  I couldn't fight him off, not with my small stature.  People thought Louis was small?  I was smaller.  At least he had strong muscles, toned from playing football.  I was a social recluse.  I wasn't athletically inclined because I had no desire to be.  At that moment I was severely regretting it.

And when I finally looked up again I saw a very different face, the anger, the coldness in the eyes.  It wasn't Max I saw it was someone much worse and I couldn't stop the fear from welling up inside of me.  I could feel my chest tightening and my body start to go numb as a panic attack began sneaking up on me, quickening my breath.  Searing hot tears began to fill my eyes, blurring my vision and making it even harder to stay grounded in the moment.

"Aw, you gonna cry?  How weak," Max breathed out, his lips inching closer with a smug smirk pasted on his face.  I blinked hard, trying to see him instead of the hideousness that I was seeing, the horror of my past.  I whimpered right before the body that had been sinking into mine was wrenched away.

"Get the fuck away from her Addison," Louis growled, his usually higher pitched voice low and dangerous as he yanked his teammate back.  That was all it took.  Suddenly the darkened hallways came into focus and Louis was glaring powerfully at the taller boy he hand in his unforgiving grasp.

A few tears poured out and my constricted throat finally loosened, allowing me to breathe easier.  The fear suddenly drained out of me as Louis practically banished Max from England before he came rushing to where I had slipped to the floor, lifting me up into his arms.

"I'm so sorry, love.  I was stuck waiting for a shower," Louis murmured in my ear, holding me tightly.  I clung to him, breathing in the fresh scent of his body wash and the faint hint of the intoxicating cologne he wore.

"Let's just get out of here, we have a party to go to," I whispered into his ear, reluctantly pulling out of his arms.

Louis's blue, blue eyes fixed on mine, his gaze washing over me like a wave crashing on the shore until everything else had melted away.  It was as if nothing every had or need exist but the two of us standing in the hallway and that was just from him _looking_ at me.  He twisted his mouth unsurely as he thought over what I'd said before he flung an arm around my shoulders and steered me towards the parking lot.

"Onward through the darkeness fighting foes we go!" he cried entusiastically, that beautiful smile of his flashing and brightening even the blackest of shadows that surrounded us.  I giggled and ducked my head, blushing.  Louis was my sunshine, cheering me up no matter how dire the circumstances.  Oh how I wished he knew everything.


	2. Chapter 2

Mercy's POV:

The party was in full swing by the time that Lou and I got there.  Fashionably late as always.  It wasn't me, that was for sure.  My anxiety made me early for everything rather than late, but no matter how hard Louis tried he was almost never on time.  It was just a Tomlinson thing from what I'd gathered over the years.  They were lucky they were all so freaking beautiful and lovable or they wouldn't get away with it so easily.

"I just don't understand how you can be late to your own party," I laughed as Louis squeezed his car into a parking space a couple blocks away from the house the party was at.  I believed it was Stan's though I couldn't be sure.  All of it had become a blur since I was forced to go more often than not, I didn't even bother with trying to keep track of whose house it was anymore.

Louis pushed his floppy bangs out of his mesmerizing eyes and smirked, "It must be a gift.  You know, one of my many talents other than my amazingly fantastic football skills."

We both got out of the car, briskly walking towards the pounding music.  Louis still had an arm draped protectively aroud my shoulders as if he was afraid that Max would show up out of nowhere and try to snatch me.

"A bit full of yourself aren't you?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow and doing my best to supress the smile that threatened to overtake me.  Louis smiled, shaking his head.

"It's not bragging, it's a fact.  You're just jealous because of how brilliant I am," he argued playfully, lightly tapping the tip of my nose with his finger.

"True, you're the sixteen year old genuis who's in your last year of high school.  Oh wait, that's me!" I laughed, poking him in the side and receiving a tight squeeze around the shoulders as well as an eye roll in response.

"At least I'm not a freak who skipped a grade and has to be in classes with older kids," he countered, guiding me to the front door.

"You wish you were me," I giggled, ducking out from under his arm and hurrying forward.

Louis easily caught up, capturing me in two strong arms, each with tattoos contrasting against the tanned skin.  I curled around them, attempting to escape but Louis just leaned with me, both of us breathlessly laughing.

"No darling, you wish you were me," he insisted, pecking my cheek before abruptly dropping me back to my feet and dashing towards the door.

My skin burned, tingling where Louis's perfect, thin pink lips connected with my cheek.  I wanted his kisses all over me.  I wanted to feel the glow that heated my face spread to the rest of my body and I could only imagine what it would feel like if Louis's lips actually met mine.  In fact I knew exactly what it was like and it was like flying.

Louis's POV:

Everyone cheered when I entered the house, hands clapped me on the back and congratulations were shouted over the insanely loud music.  Cups full of different kinds of alcohol were shoved at me from every angle and I declined all of them.  Sure getting drunk was fun but I was the one driving Mercy around and I knew how she felt about alcohol.  For reasons she had yet to explain to me she hated the "vile substance" with a firey passion.  Every time I tried asking her about it she'd get this faraway look in her eyes and mumble something about not wanting to talk about it.

I looked around for her, having last seen her outside.  I thought she would have been right behind me and the fact that she wasn't worried me to no end after what had happened with that right prick, Max, after the match.  He was no doubt going to get pissed at the party and he happened to be a very mean drunk.

I finally spotted her sneaking out the back door with my sister who really shouldn't have been there.  I then remembered that she and Mercy were the same age.  It was easy to forget sometimes that M was almost two years younger when she acted at least five years older than she actually was sometimes.  But that girl knew how to have fun, I'd give her that.  She seemed as averse to growing up as I did and most of the pranks I pulled off were either her idea or were helped implemented by her.  I smiled in satisfaction at the many pranks we'd pulled on each other over the years flashed through my mind.

"Oi, you, superstar!" I heard a distinctly Irish voice yell from the kitchen.  I grinned, heading over to join my friends who had all managed to fit in the smallish kitchen of Stan's house to guard the beer.

"Hey lads," I replied, smacking Niall on the back of the head.

"Ouch, you fucking twat, don't do that!" he groaned, slurring his words a little bit and on his way to becoming proper drunk.

"Don't let Mercy catch you drinking, she'll skin you alive," I warned, eyeing the tipsy Irish man wondering how much he'd already had to drink.

"What is it with her and drinking anyways, she's worse than Liam," Zayn asked, his Northern accent smooth and inviting, resonating in a way that made everything he said sound incredibly deep even if he was talking about fucking a girl in the bathroom or what makes him cum the hardest (you don't even want to know, trust me, it was traumatic).

"Hey!" Liam said defensively, punching Zayn on the arm.

"You go ask her, I dare you," I snickered mischievously, watching as his eyes darkened a bit, carefully watching me before deciding to take up the challenge I had given him.

Oh I had to see this and apparently so did the rest of the guys, especially the ones who'd already had their heads bitten off for asking the same question.  The rest of us chuckled as Zayn led the way out into the backyard where it seemed something exciting was happening because everyone was gathered around the pool.  That's when I heard the high pitched scream and the begging to be put down before an all too familiar face was thrown into the pool by Max.

It was like That Night all over again, seeing her face drained of color just before she hit the water.  The pure fear that gripped me made my blood run cold when I saw Mercy beginning to sink in the water.  That Night was undoubtedly the worst of my life and tonight, despite the festivities that were supposed to be happening, it seemed as though history was trying to repeat itself.  I was once again the one who needed to do something and quick before I lost the one person I couldn't bear to.  For the second time I was faced with the possibility of Mercy being torn away from me.

I did the only thing I could.  I dove into the pool after her, her eyes seeming to barely register that I was there before she held onto me with a weak grasp before I propelled us to the surface.

　

Mercy's POV:

I screamed bloody murder as I flew through the air, hurtling towards the pool.  When I crashed into the water it felt as though I were weighed down with rocks, dragging me to the very bottom.  I thrashed out as I kept screaming, trying to claw my way to the surface but I couldn’t swim.  I never learned how to and as I flailed in the deep end of the pool, my lungs begging for air and my body unresponsive, I couldn’t help but think that it was the end.

My head pounded from the pressure and lack of oxygen, my vision began to turn yellow as my body finally stopped moving.  I tried to breath but all I did was choke on some water.  I heard another splash reverberate throughout the pool even through the ringing in my ears. 

Then Louis's face appeared before my own, his eyes wide and staring as we reached for each other.  I tried to hold on tightly but I couldn't get my body to do as I said.  Instead I settled for a loose grip that Louis made up for by crushing me to him before kicking off from the ground.

He pulled me from the water, laying us out on the ground as I coughed up the water I'd inhaled.  I gasped for air, drinking it in gratefully as I stared up at the black night sky, stars twinkling at me above.

Heat seeped through my soaked clothes and I looked over to find Louis staring at me intently, panting a bit, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, still unable to properly fill my lungs.  "Thank you," I whispered, reluctantly sitting up.

I felt everyone's eyes on me.  The music was still going but multitudes of people were peering down, trying to get a look at the girl who had almost drowned while my friends looked on in awe.  My eyes fell back on Louis, pleading with him.  He quickly sprang into action, holding out his hand to help me up.  I took it and was swiftly whisked away, through the crowd of onlookers that shamelessly stared at the two of us. 

Louis didn't stop as I was ushered through the back door then the front and into his car.  Then we were peeling through the streets as I shivered in the passenger seat.

"Thank you Lou, thank you so, so much," I murmured, hot tears welling up in my eyes yet again as everything that had happened in the past couple of hours crashed down on me.  That was the third time in my life that I'd been close to death but only the second that Louis knew about.  The most recent two Louis had been the one to save me, to pull me back from the edge of death and I couldn't have owed him more.

I broke further, shattered, and the flow of tears couldn't be contained anymore as they began streaking down my cheeks.  Louis's hard expression softened as he pulled over in front of my house, parking the car before he hugged me to him.  I gratefully buried my face into his neck as his arms enclosed me while I cried.

One hand stroked my hair while the other soothingly rubbed circles on my back.  Louis just let me cry myself into silence then held me a while longer, whispering assurances in my ear before he drew away.

"Come on, love, let's go inside," he smiled, a grinning popping up as he sang the next sentence, "I've got chills and they're multiplyin'."  I rolled my eyes, laughing and cracking the dried tear stains on my cheeks as he quoted his favorite movie.

"Okay, go get changed then," I told him, smiling weakly before we headed in opposite directions before turning in the same one just a couple of yards away from each other, entering our respective houses.  I was the girl next door so to speak and it came in mighty handy when I needed more noise in my life and Louis needed less.  I was basically alone in my house, having no other siblings and my dad being at work or with his mysterious girlfriend all the time.

Louis had a full house and I often baby sat for Jay, his mom, when she was at work or had a date.  It was nice to be in a house with hustle and bustle and laughter but it was also nice to find some much needed alone time.  Although I was never actually alone for the most part because Louis was almost always over either studying or just hanging out.  Of course that's when he wasn't off with Eleanor.  Even then he was over quite a lot.  Like I really minded.

Once inside I hurriedly changed out of my wet clothes, hopping into a quick, steamy shower to try and calm my nerves before I dressed in the skimpy pjs I always wore.  I wasn't big on clothes when I was lounging about.  I wore more than Harry would, that's for sure, but it was usually warm and I preferred to wear a small pair of shorts and a crop top.  No top, if I could get away with it.  I didn't think that was such a good idea though, with Louis coming over.  I may not have had a problem with walking around half naked when there wasn't anyone around but I wasn't very comfortable with my body.

The only thing that kept me from having an eating disorder was the fact that if my blood sugar got to low I'd faint due to hypoglycemia.  Fun, fun, fun.  According to my last therapist I had body dysmorphic disorder instead of a full blown eating disorder but there wasn't much I could do about it.  I just did my best not to dwell on my problems.  It wasn't easy, especially when I was left alone with my thoughts but it was the only thing that kept me from self destructing like I had almost two years before.

That Night could have been the worst mistake I'd ever made and I was more than a little glad that Louis had stopped me from making it.  The part that I regretted?  That he had to be the one who saved me.  Not because I owed him.  No, I had owed him from the first moment we met because he had given me purpose again.  It was because I never wanted him to have to go through anything that terrifying.  He still had nightmares sometimes.  Even when he tries to deny it I know it's true.  We've slept in the same bed enough that his sleep talking has revealed the true contents of his dreams.

I sighed and flopped down on my bed after I'd plugged Grease in, waiting for Louis to join me.  I figured if he'd been singing the line from his favorite movie in the car he had planned on watching it anyways.  I was just preventing the argument over it.

"Okay, I have ice cream, crisps and these weird fish things that you like, let's have our own party," Louis announced proudly, bursting into my room, his arms spilling over with snacks and a wide smile on his face.  He saw what I had put on and his grin broadened to rival the Cheshire cat's.

He jumped into bed with me, the king sized bed that I had requested specially when I'd gotten older because we both liked to have a lot of room to spread out.  We split the food and started the movie, sitting across from each other and throwing a few chips, aiming for each other's mouths.

Eventually we moved onto the ice cream, resisting the urge to throw that at each other as well.  We did end up swiping some on each other's noses and sharing the two different flavors.  But it was hard to not throw the melty ice cream at the other, our natural playfullness coming out to try and lighten the damper that had descended on our night.

"So what's up with the you and Max thing anyways?  I thought that you and him were getting on," Louis said, finally broaching the subject.  I sighed and stabbed my spoon back into the left over ice cream, setting it on my bedside table.  Louis copied me as we turned towards each other, crossing our legs like we usually did when we were about to have at least a semi serious conversation.

"He's just a pig.  We went out on a date and it was fine at first but then he started trying to stick his tongue in my mouth and saying really sexual things.  I don't give a shit about the sex stuff, I may be a romantic at heart but I have a mind that can be dirty as all hell.  The thing that bothered me was when I told him to stop he wouldn't.  The worst part is that he was the closest I've ever come to making out with a guy," I admitted, blushing a bit at my confession.

Louis grinned lopsidedly, "How easily you forget M.  Do you not remember?"  He was teasing me, the glint in his eye brightening.  How could I ever forget?  It was a day that I'd always remember.

It was my first kiss when I was fourteen and Louis was sixteen before he started going out with Eleanor on and off.  That day we had laid out under the tree in my back yard.  It wasn't something special, nothing that really would be memorable.  What made it so perfect was the fact that it was Louis.  He was the one who had offered to give my first kiss because I wanted to know what it was like.  So we sat there, much like we were in the present, and he leaned over, kissing me.

It was the best thing that had ever happened to me.  When I was fourteen I was still weighed down by my past, the one that Louis didn't know about.  Nothing seemed to be able to lift the clouds thundering constantly overhead but Louis, and when his mouth brushed over mine shyly it was as if my whole world had exploded in a shower of sparks.  My body tingled and I fought off the impulse to draw him closer as our lips slotted together, moving in sync.

"That wasn't making out.  Our tongues never left our mouths.  The only annoying thing about not making out with anyone is the sexual frustration and the fact that I won't know what I'm doing when I finally meet someone I want to do it with," I told him with a sigh, trying to conceal the fact that I had met the person that I wanted to kiss and love and be with for the rest of my life.

"Meh, it's not that hard really," Louis shrugged, giving me a reassuring smile and a small chuckle.

"Still, who wants to be a crap kisser?" I pointed out, cocking an eyebrow.  He thought it over, slowly nodding his head.

"Very true.  And there's still that pesky sexual frustration yeah?" Louis inquired. 

He looked like the wheels in his mischief inclined head were turning and his blue eyes sparkled with a plan that had obviously formed.  I was completely lost and not sure whether I really wanted to know what he had thought up in his devious little mind.  Louis had a knack for coming up with possibly the best and most evil plans ever.  He was the king of pranks and I couldn't imagine what he would have come up with from our conversation.

"So you've really never had a proper snog?" he finally asked, seeming to return to reality.  I felt the heat creep up into my cheeks yet again as I shook my head and Louis cracked a smile, pushing his caramel bangs to the side.

"How do you do it?  I mean, like, how do you become good at making out?" I wondered awkwardly, fumbling over my words, unsure of how to phrase the question.

Louis just threw his head back and laughed, "I don't know, it's hard to explain."

"Oh how very helpful, thanks Lou," I quipped, rolling my eyes.  His own narrowed as he gave me a wry smile.

"I don't know how to explain it, it's not something that you can just tell someone how to do," he declared defensively, crossing his arms and pouting slightly.

I snorted, "How useless, can't even give me any tips."  I was just messing with him but also rather put out that he wasn't even attempting to give me any advice.

I was getting a scrutinizing glare from Louis, his blue eyes now slits as his familiar smirk turned up the corners of his soft pink lips.

"Useless am I?  Alright, up off your cute little arse.  I'm gonna _show_ you how if you insist on being difficult," Louis decided, uncrossing his legs and sliding to the edge of the bed, looking at me expectantly.  Holy shit.  I was pretty sure that I had died in that swimming pool and gone to heaven because this couldn't actually be happening.  But it was and I had no idea whether to take it seriously or not.

"Don't look so scared M, 'm not gonna bite...hard," Lou grinned, craning his head over his shoulder as he waited for me to join him.  I gulped before scooting towards him slowly, watching his face, to pick out any signs of joking.  He was fucking serious and if I wasn't dead already than I would be soon.  Louis Tomlinson was going to be the death of me and all I could think was that I would be more than willing to let it happen if he would actually kiss me again.


	3. Chapter 3

Mercy's POV:

It started off slow, just the brush of lips as if Louis was afraid of breaking me. I wiggled under the weight of his hand holding my chin, his thumb stroking over the soft skin of my cheek, trying to get closer. His hand skimmed over my neck, fingers threading into my hair as he connected our mouths once again, just the press of lips against lips. Louis tugged my head back ever so slightly, eliciting a breathy, barely audible moan, swallowed by his mouth when his lips captured mine.

Our mouths moved slowly and I copied every movement Louis made, the kiss heating up. I pulled away, unsure, my eyes opening as I chewed on my lower lip.

"Louis," I said nervously. He chuckled, his hand still buried in my wavy locks as his thumb carressed the skin at the nape of my neck, sending tiny tingling shivers down my spine from the small touch.

"Do you want a proper snog or not?" he murmured, his blue eyes boring into mine and his pupils blown wide. I nodded and he gave me a soft reassuring smile, nodding before his eyes flicked down to my lips.

His head dipped down, nose grazing over mine for a moment until I lifted my chin up just enough for our mouths to connect once more. The tingling sensation I felt intensified and the soft glow from when he kissed my cheek burst like a tidal wave throughout my entire body. I could feel the flames of desire begin to spread from my core, white hot heat coursing through my veins and warming me faster than any hot drink could on the coldest of nights.

I bit back the moan that built itself up in my throat, begging to be released, as Louis's tongue finally ran over the seam of my lips, requesting entrance that I gladly gave him. He gently pushed into my mouth, tongue brushing along mine and beginning to explore. I tentatively slid my tongue over his, engaging it in a pulsing dance for dominance that Louis won. He drew my tongue into his mouth, gently sucking. The moan practically ripped itself from my throat at the new sensation and I eagerly copied his ministrations, earning a low groan from Lou that sent a thrill racing up my spine, goosebumps appearing on my skin.

I earnestly thrust my tongue into his mouth, my fingers tangling into the hair at the nape of Louis's neck, scratching at his scalp as I nearly crawled into his lap to get closer. Warm hands found their way to my hips, grasping them tightly to help guide me into his lap. My legs firmly gripped the outside of Louis's thighs as I used the new angle to my advantage, longing to show him what I'd learned. I plunged my tongue into his mouth, pushing past his lips and delving deeper, tasting the mint of the ice cream Louis had been eating earlier.

I felt his arms slide around me, tightening his hold until our bodies were crushed together, fitting like pieces of a puzzle. My own encirlced his neck, my hips involuntarily rocking against his, enough for me to feel the bulge that had formed in his sweats, filling me with a sense of pride.

"Mercy," Louis breathed, panting into my mouth. It was a warning. I pulled away enough to rest my forehead on his, our breaths fanning over each other's faces. The holds we had on each other were secure as if I wasn't the only one unwilling to let go.

"Maybe we should...stop?" he asked, his blue eyes burning with lust. I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to do anything but stay in that moment forever, sitting in Louis's lap and breathing him in. I was intoxicated by his smell, his kisses, his taste.

"Do you want to stop?" I inquired, silently pleading with him to say no.

Louis bit his bottom lip, his piercing blue eyes once again falling to my own slightly swollen ones before infinitesmially shaking his head.

"Then kiss me," I challenged, watching him carefully before Louis's lips converged on mine, fervently kissing me once again. I melted, my breath hitching in my throat once more as his mouth hungrily enveloped mine before I was flipped onto my back, our lips only parting for a moment.

Louis hovered above, careful not hurt me but I wasn't having it. I wanted to feel him. I pulled him down until his body was covering mine, his weight sinking me further into the soft mattress and my legs wrapped around his waist as Louis licked into my mouth once more. I could feel his hands begin to roam, slipping under my shirt and connecting with my overheated stomach as our lips moved in sync. Both of us were breathing raggedly, practically gasping for breath but not wanting to stop.

Louis's hips rolled into mine, sending pangs of pleasure shooting up my body from his hard length rutting against me through thin layers of clothes. I gasped into Louis's mouth before he peppered kisses over my cheek and my jaw to my pulse point, softly sucking then licking over the hot skin, soothing the burn. It did nothing to quench the need that blazed through me with every touch and kiss, only served to stoke the fire until I was lifting my hips to meet his when they ground down.

I moaned as he left yet another love bite just below my collarbone and he chuckled, nipping playfully. I started to giggle before it was choked off by the scrape of his canines over my sensitive skin, replacing it with a breathy whimper. Louis let out a soft laugh as his tongue swirled over the new mark before tracing it's way up back to my mouth.

He caught my lips with his, melding them together before I gently bit his bottom lip, drawing it into my mouth and enticing a soft groan to fall Louis's. I giggled, pressing another tender kiss to his lips before pulling away just enough to trail a line of pecks to his neck, sinking my teeth in just below his ear, earning a breathy moan and another jolt of his hips against mine.

I could hear his breath get caught in his throat as I kept sucking, teasing and taunting as Louis had, leaving behind my own hickies.

"Shit," Louis growled lowly, his tongue licking over the shell of my ear. I pushed my fingers through his sweaty bangs, tugging at his hair as my lips latched onto a spot just below his jawline. I could tell he was close, his hips had picked up their pace, thrusting erratically against mine and the thought excited me to no end.

I held onto Louis tightly as I brought our lips back together, sucking his tongue into my mouth before I broke away to nip at his ear lobe.

"Cum," I whispered just before Louis buried his face in my neck, mouthing at the skin while he growled. His hips stuttered to a stop as he stilled above me, spilling into his briefs, a wet patch forming on the front of his sweats.

We both lay there trying to catch our breaths, Louis still lying on top of me and pressing kisses along the curve of my neck, nipping gently every now and then, before he finally pulled back.

"Fuck," Louis breathed, his lips crashing down on mine once more as we kissed lazily. I felt his hand smoothing my hair away from my face before we broke apart, Louis smiling dopily down at me. He nuzzled into my neck, showering me with sweet kisses as the hand that was still hidden beneath my shirt slipped to my hip. His fingers dug into the soft skin while his lips had coaxed mine into another kiss, light and lingering.

A distant thud coming from downstairs broke the spell and had two pairs of eyes widening in panic. Louis planted a chaste kiss on my lips before hurriedly scrambling into the bathroom with some cleanish clothes he had left over during one of the many times he spent the night.

My heart had barely calmed down before it was forced to race like a jack rabbit once again at the prospect of my dad finding us. The first thing he did every day when he came home was come and check on me and seeing his daughter with her best friend basking in the afterglow of his orgasm above her was not something that any of us wanted him to see.

I rushed to rewind Grease and change into a different pair of shorts as mine had gotten slightly damp before jumping back into bed. I made sure that my hair covered my neck and my chest enough that any visible love bites were hidden. I grabbed the forgotten ice cream, shoving a mostly melted spoonful into my mouth as my heart continued to thrum in my chest.

There was a soft knock on my door before my dad poked his head in with a small smile, his eyes flicking to the images on the TV as "Summer Nights" ended. He chuckled, ruffling his short brown hair and stepping inside.

"Hey honey, how was the match? Did you guys win?" he asked, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms over his chest. His dress shirt had a button undone and his tie was already loosened around his neck, an obvious sign of relaxation after a long day at work.

I nodded, "Yeah, Louis scored the winning goal." I set the ice cream back in it's original place on my bed side table and giving him an uneasy smile, hoping he didn't note any differences in my appearance that I might have missed.

"Where is the little bugger anyway?" my dad wondered curiously. I did my best to not look guilty before shrugging and pointing towards the closed bathroom door. Right on cue Louis flushed the toilet. My father nodded with a shake of his head.

"You two have fun. Don't stay up too late, you still have school tomorrow yeah?" he reminded me. I pressed my lips together in acknowledgment before I was finally left alone, my door shutting quietly.

Louis reemerged with a bright smile and a roll of his eyes at how close we had become to getting caught. I huffed out a laugh and turned off the light, burrowing into my blankets before Louis crawled in beside me, only wearing briefs. He tugged me to him so our chests were flush against each other and kissed my nose.

"So?" I asked quietly, my voice barely above a whisper. Louis quirked an eyebrow as his arms encircled my waist, biceps bulging slightly with the movement, and tangled our legs together.

"So, what?" he inquired, amusement dancing in his bright blue eyes that shone even in the semi darkness of the room.

"Was I okay? Like I wasn't really bad at it or anything?" I questioned, nervously worrying at my still swollen bottom lip. Louis chuckled and smiled, shaking his head as much as he could while lying down.

"You were brilliant, love. Had me coming in my joggers like a horny teenager. I'd say you were more than okay, yeah?" he pointed out, pressing a soft kiss to my lips as a hand slid up my back to the nape of my neck. It rested there as we kissed languidly, warm and comforting as if his fingers were made to curl there.

I giggled and drew away just far enough to look at him, Louis shooting me an inquisitive look, his brow furrowing.

"What?" Louis demanded impatiently when I still hadn't exaplained why I'd laughed.

"Lou, you are a horny teenager," I replied smugly, a wide smile spreading across my face. He laughed, grinning my favorite crinkly-eyed grin before smacking his lips against mine once more.

"Rude," he stated playfully as I hitched my leg further up his in an attempt to get more comfortable.

"How? It's the truth," I insisted, rolling my eyes as he smirked.

"You could just take it as a compliment that you made my cum in my trousers instead of making fun of the fact that I did," he suggested, rubbing our noses together, his mouth seeking mine. I lifted my head, allowing his tongue to push past my parted lips and brush over mine, licking the roof of my mouth before I began gently sucking. Louis groaned and his hold on me tightened momentarily before he broke away, loosening his taut muscles.

"Now go to sleep before it happens again," he whispered, the hint of teasing in his tone unable to disguise the small amount of want there. I giggled and kissed him again, never able to get enough. I didn't know what we were doing exactly or what the hell it all meant. All I knew was that I wasn't going to ask any questions because this was arguably the best night of my life.

"Fine, you know I won't get much sleep though," I reminded him, snuggling closer into his toned but soft body, my fingers tracing over the "It Is What It Is" tattoo on his chest. Louis sighed, resting his forehead against mine as he watched me trail my fingers lightly over his skin.

"I know, but I'll be right here, yeah? Don't need to worry," he assured me, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of my neck.

I nodded as Louis's blue eyes bore into my hazel ones. I slid my hand from where it rested on his chest to the base of his throat, lightly grasping the juncture of where it met his shoulder, as he leaned in. It was more hesitant this time, more careful and sweet when Louis's mouth claimed mine. Just the gentle press of our lips before he moved slowly to deepen the kiss, tipping his head to the side as his tongue licked over my bottom lip, politely requesting entrance. I gladly gave it to him, letting Louis's tongue graze over mine before they molded together.

"Hey Lou?" I asked against his mouth, our breaths mingling along with our tongues.

"Yeah?" he murmured with a groan.

"Go to sleep," I giggled, nipping at his lower lip. He laughed, his eyes crinkling around the corners once more before kissing my lips then my neck over a bruise that he had been the cause of if the slight sting was any indication.

We curled into each other, sharing a pillow and a soft goodnight kiss before light snores filled the room and I sighed heavily before drifting off myself. No matter what happened in the future I would have that night at least. That one night which, despite all the turmoil and terror, had been the best night of my life.

Louis's POV:

I don't know what came over me really. One minute we were talking about how Mercy had never properly snogged anyone and the next I was on top of her. As soon as our lips brushed it ignited a need that I didn't even know was there. I mean, she was beautiful, gorgeous really, I would have had to have been blind to not have noticed. But it was different than anything I'd ever felt before.

I had thought about kissing Mercy, even had a few guilty wanks to the thought of her-hey, no judging, I can't control my hormones. It just kind of happened- but the occasional overwhelming urge to actually follow through on my thoughts had never reached such an intensity. Most of the time I could chalk it up to just being a teenage boy after all. But somehow I had become a tangled, confused mess the moment our lips touched.

There was something blooming in my chest that I couldn't quite explain and the ferocity of it consumed me to a point I couldn't decide what to feel anymore. The lines of my emotions had become blurred to such a point I couldn't define any one of them. All I could discern was a sense of completeness that I hadn't felt with anyone else. It was probably because Mercy was my best mate. We were just comfortable with each other.

I thought I had satisfied that unknown hunger within me but all it did was demand moremoremore. I knew that I was being ridiculous. We were just mates helping each other out and I didn't mind it one bit. Whatever that nameless feeling was it felt good. It was a warm, safe feeling that I wasn't going to abandon any time soon. It was nice enough for me want it to last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Naughty times ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cute/slightly stupid Louis. Sweet Zayn. Love them both <3

Louis's POV:

I woke up that night to whimpers coming from the girl beside me. Mercy was curled up a tight ball, her back to me as I held her close to my chest. I panicked for a moment. I hated when she had nightmares. They scared me half to death, especially when she started screaming like she was being tortured.

I nudged her gently, nuzzling into the back of her neck, trying to calm her down. Mercy was a light sleeper but when she was gripped in a stranglehold by one of her nightmares it was harder to get her to wake up. I squeezed her smaller body to mine, mouthing at the skin on the back of her neck, murmuring to the sleeping girl, hoping to quiet the pitiful whines tearing themselves from the back of her throat.

Mercy naturally leaned into the touch, her tensed body relaxing enough that I knew she might wake up any moment. I kept kissing her sweet smelling skin, flicking my tongue over a love bite left over from earlier until I saw her eyelids flutter.

"Sorry Lou," she sighed sleepily, obviously exhausted.

I knew exactly what it felt like to have your life coming at you from all ends, torturing you even in sleep that left you bone tired no matter how many naps you took. I had gone through it for months after That Night, tormented by the grizzly, horrifying images that seemed engrained in my memory forever. I still had nightmares but Mercy had it worse.

I didn't know much about her life before she moved to England, it was a touchy subject along with why Mercy didn't like alcohol and why her father spoke with a British accent and she didn't. There were certain things that I thought she may never tell me, like what she dreams of when she's thrashing around in bed and screaming herself hoarse.

" 's alright," I mumbled, my lips still pressed against the soft skin of her shoulder. She yawned, curving her body into mine until we were aligned perfectly and our legs were entwined again.

I offered up a hand that she gratefully took, lacing her fingers through mine before clutching our hands close to her chest and falling back asleep. I hoped it wouldn't be one wrought with anguish.

 

Mercy's POV:

"M," a whisper broke through the peaceful sleep that had finally descended on me after Louis's reassurances the night before. I groaned, refusing to open my eyes to the pale light of morning as the sun had managed to permeate through the clouds enough to cast a gray glow upon the world.

"Come on, we have school," Louis's calm, soothing voice urged me. I felt his soft hand push over my forehead to smooth my bangs from my face as he leaned close. It was a rare occasion that Louis actually woke before me but when he did, he was a bright ray of sunshine, full of energy. When I was the one to wake first...well, he gave me a much harder time than I gave him.

I shook my head, rolling over enough to turn away but not enough that his hand would slip from my skin. I reveled in the soft touch, the heat, the comfort that Louis supplied as he cooed lovingly, knowing that I wasn't one to respond well to tough love in the morning.

"Get up, lovely. School," he murmured in my ear, pressing a burning kiss to my cheek. I groaned again, not wanting to leave my room and break the spell that had Louis showing me more affection than usual. It was too nice, too wonderful.

I knew it would end soon and I knew that it would hurt that much more now that I had been able to touch him and I wouldn't be able to again. At least before I hadn't known what it was like to have Louis kiss me like he meant it, to kiss me like I was the only one in the world to him. But now that I did it would be that much harder to let him go, to pretend that I didn't crave his hands, his mouth, his tongue. Not being able to have him once I had for a short time, it would be like a cutting pain deep inside me. So I was going to bask in the attention that was bestowed upon me.

Louis chuckled, pecking me on the lips and nipping at the bottom one, trying to coax my eyes open.

"Mercy," he said sternly, catching my attention though my eyes stayed firmly shut.

"Get your arse out of bed or no more snogging for you," Lou continued, feigning seriousness though I could practically see the smile turning up the corners of his thin, pink lips and the mischief dancing in his eyes.

I snorted, "I think I'll live." I heard an audible, over exaggerated gasp and then a heavy weight as Louis fell on top of me.

"Rude!" he replied, nuzzling into my neck with his cold nose as an arm curled around my waist. I sighed and opened my eyes to find him staring at me with a little smirk, his bangs almost falling into those gleaming ocean blue eyes.

"Like you'd suffer from not kissing me," I pointed out, rubbing my eyes until he came into sharp focus. Louis grinned, pushing himself up until he was hovering over me.

"I don't know, you're pretty delicious," he laughed, brushing his lips over mine. I rolled my eyes disbelievingly, trying to shove down the hope that had begun to niggle it's way into my heart, taking root alongside the love that was already there.

"You're such a liar," I accused teasingly. Louis quirked an eyebrow before dropping a kiss on my lips, licking over the seam of them. He eased his tongue into my mouth, swirling it around my own and drawing me in. The heat of his mouth, the drag of his tongue, sent my my body tingling, prickling with lightning as it shot up my spine. It was without a doubt the best way to wake up.

"You taste amazing," Louis insisted, against my lips, kissing them achingly sweetly before pulling back and rolling away, tugging me along with him. I slid off the bed and was caught up in his arms before I was swung around, stumbling a bit as Louis spun us around the room, laughing boisterously and singing "Pour Some Sugar on Me", making me blush and giggle uncontrollably.

He stopped, grinning with crinkly eyes, and surged forward, crashing his lips down on mine and enveloping my mouth with his own passionately. He bit my lower lip, running his tongue over it before delving into my mouth. I clasped the nape of his neck, my fingers tangling in the hair there for a moment before Louis broke away with a smile. Another slow, careful kiss, his soft lips gliding over mine before we remembered we still had to get ready for school.

******

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I huffed under my breath as I stepped into the nearly deserted hallway.

Apparently I wasn't the only who was taking a break from class and by the sound of it, I should have stayed in my third period even if it was ending in a few minutes. I heard the voices before I saw who they belonged to but I would recognize the heavy drawl of Max's and the monotone of his friend Jason's anywhere. What I didn't expect was the whimper that followed their hushed conversation or the sound of something being slammed into a locker.

I wasn't one to get involved with things, in fact, I tended to avoid Max and his jackass friends as much as possible for obvious reasons but I couldn't ignore the plea that had floated to my ears. Lottie.

I rounded the corner to find her cornered by the two boys sneering down at her. Whatever they were saying it had more of an affect on her than she was trying to let on. The rattle of the metal had come from Max's hand slapping into the wall of lockers. At least they hadn't hurt her, physically anyways.

I hurried, pushing myself in between Lottie and the two boys, shoving at Max's chest and throwing in a powerful glare. It struck me as more than a little annoying that I could only say something when somebody I cared about was getting bullied. I could never do it for myself and it made me even angrier.

"Fuck off Max," I growled at him as Lottie tugged at my long sleeve, trying to get me to back off. I held my ground, folding my arms over my chest and guarding the slightly younger girl.

"You gonne make me?" he grinned nastily, cocking an eyebrow as he advanced, licking his lips as if Lottie and I were his next meal.

The bell rang, signaling the end of class and freed all of us from our stand off. It didn't stop Max from fixing me with a piercing stare.

"Next time you're gonna pay," he threatened before stalking off with Jason in tow, leaving me and Lottie behind as he forced his way through the flow of students rushing off to their next class.

I turned to my friend, hugging her, "Why didn't you tell me?"

She shook her head, clinging to me tightly, "I didn't want anyone to know. Lou would get so upset. He already hates Max because of you, I didn't want to give him another reason to start a fight with the guy. He'd get suspended from the team or totally kicked off. I can't ruin his future just because I'm pathetic." Lottie sniffled and I squeezed her closer.

Guilt wriggled around in my gut. If it hadn't been for me being a complete weakling then I could have prevented all this. I didn't want anyone fighting my battles for me or having to fight their own because of me. Louis and Max had been on civil terms before I'd gone and made a mess of things. Now it seemed that Lottie was taking the brunt of his frustrations and I'd be damned if I allowed that to happen.

"You're not pathetic, he's a grade-A asshole. I'm going to fix this okay?" I promised, pulling back and looking into her pretty eyes as they widened and looked up at me innocently.

She nodded, not even questioning. We may have been about the same age but I knew that Lottie saw me as an older sister because I had grown up as her brother's friend. She was too naive to consider the possibility that I may not be able to do it and the trust she put in my made my heart clench violently. Almost as painfully as it did when I was reminded Louis would never love me. I **_was_** going to make it better somehow and as we walked down the hallway, my arm thrown over her shoulder I realized how I would do so. It was stupid and dangerous and it would hurt, but I was going to do it. All I needed was a little help.

******

"Please Liam?" I begged. He was the only one who I could go to with this. The other boys would either try and fight this for me or insist that I was crazy and talk me out of it. Of course Liam had both of those reactions but he was the one person I knew would see the logical side of my argument.

His soft brown eyes were fixed on me intensely, scrutinizing my entirety. He had a habit of being able to see past whatever bullshit you were presenting to him at the moment and getting to the actual truth. I subjected to the staring, letting him think my request over as I fidgeted nervously, glancing around.

Liam wasn't the one making me nervous, the fact that any one of our friends could walk up in the middle of a top secret conversation was. No one could know about it until it was over. If they did then everything would be screwed up and I promised Lottie.

"Fine," Liam stated, pressing his lips together in a thin line, still considering me thoughtfully. I cocked an eyebrow, trying to get an explicit answer out of him to make sure I understood his meaning. Liam liked to talk in riddles at times.

"I'll do it. Do you have a camera or do I have to use my phone?" he asked, biting into his peanut butter and jelly sandwhich.

"What're you gonna do that you need a camera for?" Louis asked curiously, blue eyes brightening at the thought of a prank.

"Oh, me and Li are gonna make an amatuer sex tape," I shrugged, knowing I'd earn a startled but highly appreciative laugh at the thought of Liam making a sex tape with anyone, let alone me. It was well known that he had a not so subtle crush on Zayn but didn't have the guts to admit to it.

"Love, if anyone's making a sex tape it's us, not you and Liam," Louis chuckled, throwing an arm around my shoulder and discreetly licking over a hickey on my neck that had previously been concealed by my hair. I shivered and tried again not to read too much into the gesture even as the feathered peaks of his hair tickled my skin as they curved upwards and to the side. I swear, how beautiful he was, was just unfair.

But ever since that morning, getting ready and driving to school, being in class together. It's been absolute torture, him sending me these looks and subtly brushing his lips over my neck or cheek or the lingering touches of his fingers on my hand and back. Jesus, it's like he was trying to kill me.

"Why're we talking about sex tapes?" Zayn inquired, plopping down next to a now blushing Liam. He had suddenly become very interested in his food, avoiding all eye contact with the rest of us.

"Oh, nothing to worry your pretty little head about Zaynie," Louis grinned after he nuzzled into my neck for a moment. Zayn rolled his smoldering, light caramel eyes before focusing his attention on me.

"Will you be my model for an art project that I have to do?" He requested abruptly leaving me slightly shocked and Louis quirking an eyebrow, letting a smirk play at his lips. My eyebrows shot towards my hairline, one probably disappearing beneath my swooping bangs.

"Um..." I started, trailing off to think about it. I couldn't understand why in the hell Zayn wanted to draw me or paint me, or whatever. I wasn't a model by any means and I couldn't sit still for very long. My antsy behavior was a toned down version of Louis's own.

"You want Mercy to be your model?" Louis asked incredulously, practically gaping at the raven haired boy sitting across from us.

"Hey Lou, can I talk to you for a sec-" Eleanor began, having somehow sidled over without my noticing. I cut her off.

"Is it really so hard to believe that someone actually wants me to model for them?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes as I took in Louis's shocked expression that quickly changed to panic.

"No, no- I- that's not what I-," he stuttered.

"Yes," El answered firmly, giving me an eye roll and tugging on Louis's arm, trying to capture his attention. He let himself be dragged away reluctantly, staring as he went, mouthing soundless words.

I sighed and left my seat, falling bodily into the one beside Zayn to discuss the details of what he needed me to do. I nodded along and pretended that I wasn't dying to know what the hell Louis and Eleanor were doing. I could guess and I would probably be right, but every time my thoughts turned to their activities there was a violent churning in my stomach.

I tried to focus on Zayn, tried not to let my mind wander as he excitedly told me about his project. I fidgeted constantly until the pair were in view, their fingers laced together. I gulped and felt my throat go dry as they took the seats across from my new one. Louis looked up at me, his eyes overflowing with an emotion that I couldn't discern. They radiated intensity as his lips pulled up at the corners in greeting. I suddenly felt like I couldn't look away, as my heart pounded in my ears.

I was drowning. Drowning in blue eyes and bright smiles, absolutely surrounded by the waves of love that had settled upon me. I was being suffocated by it to a point where I just want to scream and gasp for air and beg for mercy. But there was no way to the surface. I didn't know how to find my way out of the sea that had engulfed me. Every time I tried to discover the path that led out of the darkness shrouding me in the form of that stupid, relentless love I just sank deeper, deeper into the depths of it.

And I am alone. Utterly, completely alone, forced to struggle for breath and to keep moving. My lungs screamed to be filled with fresh air that seemed to be replaced with heavy, heavy love. It weighed me down until I couldn't fight it anymore. I let it swallow me up. I breathe it, I feel it, ebbing and flowing swiftly through my veins. I allowed the love to have it's way with me for a few seconds until I was able fight it off again and lock it up in the heart that has been beaten and broken by it.

By the time anyone else noticed that my eyes were locked with Louis's in a silent conversation, I had composed myself, reemerging from the inconvenient state of numbness. I gave my best friend a small smile in congratulations before looking away, ripping my heart out as I tore my eyes away from his.

How do I even go on loving him when my heart is no longer beating in my chest but pulsing outside of it?

Being in love with someone you know is never going to love you back is one thing. It's a horrific pain that I had become accustomed to over the years. But being in love with Louis was much, much easier when I didn't know what he tasted like, or sounded like when he came, muffling the noises in my neck. It was easier when I didn't know how his hands felt running over my body or how his hips bucked into mine. It was easier when he hadn't given me sweet kisses that I poured every part of myself into before he went right back to Eleanor.

He would always go back to Eleanor and I was being choked with the reality once again, but this time it felt like my windpipe was being crushed beyond repair. I did my best not to hyperventilate at the table, joining in the conversation that Liam and Harry were having and ignoring Lou's attempts to catch my eye. Whatever he wanted to say he could save it. I would be at his house later that day after meeting up with Zayn, if he really felt the need to talk to me, he could do it then.

"I'll see you after school," I told Zayn as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch and the start of the stampede towards respective classrooms. He nodded mutely with one of his small but genuine smiles.

"I thought you were babysitting?" Louis asked, resisting the yanking on his arm by his annoyed girlfriend.

"After I help Zayn, I'll be there by six to make dinner and stuff," I assured him before scurrying off to my next class. I could feel his eyes burning a hole into the back of my head and hear Eleanor's faint whining as I left them behind, doing my best not to cry.

******

"So what do you need me to do?" I asked after Zayn had led me up to his room. I sprawled out on the familiar bed, gazing at the walls to see if any new additions to his art collection were made.

I saw one of Liam, the lines of his strong jaw defined by shadows provided by what looked like charcoal. Other than that, everything looked the same. The vibrant colors from graffiti and the dark edges of some of his darker works littered the cluttered walls. The sheets smelled like Zayn, smoky but spicy from his cologne. The smell soothed me as I lay there, letting the tension and heartbreak seep out of my body.

"First, I need you to take your clothes off," he replied, his expression dead serious, but there was a tell tale mischievous glint in his eyes.

"You're an ass," I giggled, sitting up and bouncing a bit to keep myself entertained while he set up the materials he needed.

Zayn gave me one of his small smiles, "I meant it though. You don't need to get completely naked, I just need you to wear this." He tossed me an over sized t-shirt that I easily caught, quirking an eyebrow before shrugging. I wiggled out of my skin tight jeans before throwing off my long sleeved shirt, pulling Zayn's short sleeved one over my head.

We both fell into a comfortable silence as I was positioned on the bed, laid out so that one arm was stretched above my head, my hips slightly turned towards Zayn as I lay on my back, and my other arm by my face on full display. He paused there, his expert eyes scanning over my body before his fingers dropped, feather light, to my left forearm, tracing over the stark white, raised scar that started a few inches below my wrist and stopped a few more above my elbow.

"That's why you asked me isn't it?" I asked once Zayn was sitting in the computer chair with an easel and paints in front of him, a smallish canvas propped up. He gave me a grim smile as an answer.

"I'm assuming you didn't get those hickies by yourself," he commented, completely changing the subject. I glared at him and shook my head before going absolutely still as he began drawing with a pencil, the lead scratching against the rough surface of the canvas.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Zayn inquired, his eyes flicking back and forth between me and his pencil. I had the feeling that he wasn't exactly seeing what was there but seeing what wasn't, what he could create. I didn't mind, it made me feel good, knowing that I was helping bring his idea to life.

"I'd rather talk about why you haven't made a move on Liam yet when he's obviously in love with you," I retorted, doing my best to keep my facial expression blank. I saw the muscles in his arm jumping out as he moved faster, probably trying to get the outline down, at least, that's what I assumed he was doing.

"Because he's straight, M," Zayn sighed, raking the fingers of his free hands through his hair before starting on getting paints ready. We both knew we only had about another two and a half hours before I had to be at Louis's and I hoped we could finish in time. I rolled my eyes at his idiocy and took a moment to readjust before returning to the position he wanted me in.

"He looks at you like, like...like I look at Lou," I whispered, trailing off a bit at the end. I knew that everyone but Louis knew how I felt about him but it was weird talking about the depth of my feelings for the blue eyed boy so casually.

Zayn shot me a curious look as he picked up a brush, swirling it around in some color before lifting it to the canvas to begin. Neither of us said anything else as I lay there and Zayn painted. We weren't big on talking. The two of us communicated with looks most of the time, somehow understanding the others meaning with minimal words. I could do that with a few people but none of them possessed Zayn's preference for it.

His eyes spoke volumes even when his mouth stayed close and right then, though they weren't focused on me, I could see the emotion in them. He was more than pleased with the implication that Liam could care about him the way that I did about Louis. Those two just needed to get their heads out of their asses and tell each other how they felt. At least they had a chance at being happy.

"If you told him you could be happy too," Zayn said, breaking into my thoughts. I blinked a few times, slightly startled, realizing that I must have spoken aloud. I snorted, stifling a laugh.

"He's with Eleanor," I deadpanned, closing my eyes and letting my mind drift. Zayn didn't reply, just went back to work and allowing me the luxary of wallowing in self pity and mourning the fact that I'd never be with Louis.

Before long I was being woken up by Zayn, the sharp edges of his jaw and his chiseled cheekbones coming into view. I flinched and sat up, registering the dim that had settled upon the room from the sun descending behind the houses and trees surrounding Zayn's home.

"Are you finished?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and pulling on my clothes. He nodded with a big smile, bigger than usual as I switched out his shirt for mine. I cocked an eyebrow and rounded the easel, staring in awe at the painting.

It was like my entire body was elongated until I was an elegant figure laying out on his bed like I belonged there. It didn't look posed or stiff. It looked as if I were moving fluidly with the wind, utterly relaxed and at ease, peacefully asleep. The scar on my arm spoke of a dark past but the soft halo of sunlight that streamed through the window softened the obvious truth. It was as if the painting were showing you just how far I had come, that I had healed and was now perfectly content with myself.

"You made me look....beautiful," I breathed disbelievingly, my eyes glued to the painting. I heard a soft snort and tore my gaze from the incredible image to meet Zayn's caramel colored eyes.

"You are beautiful, Mercy. You're just too blind to see it," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. My cheeks flushed furiously in embarrassment as much as pleasure from the compliment.

"Do you need me to help with anything else?" I inquired. I tried to keep my voice steady so he wouldn't notice how affected I was by the simple yet heartfelt comment Zayn had so graciously given me.

"Yeah, if you could come by next Monday, that'd be great. I have some more ideas and I have to make up a portfolio to show my art teacher. If they're good enough, a few may even get shown in an art gallery," Zayn gushed excitedly. I laughed and nodded, wrapping my arms around him in a tight hug, silently thanking him for making me feel like someone cared about me.


	5. Chapter 5

Mercy's POV:

 

I got to Louis's house just barely before six to see Jay rushing out the door. She grinned at me, kissed my cheek and hurried to her car in a frenzy, worried about being late for work. I giggled as I watched her peal out of the driveway and head off down the road before I entered the house, closing and locking the door behind me.

"I'm here!" I called, waiting for the sound of pattering feet and heavy footsteps. I only received the former when Phoebe and Daisy came barreling out of nowhere, a blur of pink, blue and blonde before they were making grabby hands up at me, giggling unontrollably. I faintly wondered where their older brother was but swept them up in my arms anyways, though it took more effort than it used to.

"M, M, M," they chanted happily as I carried them into the messy living room. Finding Nemo was playing on the screen, the volume low and there were coloring books strewn across the room. It was obvious that the twin terrors had been there last. I gazed fondly down at the little girls in my arms, excitedly trying to talk over each other.

I set them down on the carpet with instructions to finish their coloring and watching their movie so I could start dinner when I was graced with the sight of Lottie. She sat at the table, patiently waiting for me. I had no idea where Fizzy was but I assumed it had something to do with the mysterious boy she'd been crushing on for a while now.

"Eleanor's here," Lottie informed me promptly as I began to gather the ingredients to make spaghetti. I momentarily froze with my back to her before forcing myself to move again.

"Don't freak, I don't think they're fucking, I checked because I love you so much," Lottie smiled innocently. You'd never be able to guess the crude words that had left her mouth but I was grateful for them. It comforted me somewhat, though I knew they could be doing _other things_ that would still involve orgasms. I didn't mention it though. I figured Lottie had been through enough scarring for one night, making sure her brother wasn't doing his girlfriend just to comfort me.

I opened my mouth to deny that it would bother me even though I know it was futile when we both knew the truth. But, right on cue, Eleanor and Louis came bumbling down the stairs, hanging off each other and laughing privately as if they were so wrapped up in each other they couldn't possibly acknowledge anyone else.

"Speak of the Devil and he shall doth appear," I muttered under my breath making Lottie snort and capture the attention of the couple loitering at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey M, how'd the "art session" with Zayn go?" Louis asked, hooking his fingers in the air as he grinned lazily at me. His piercing blue eyes held more emotion, fixing themselves on me as he waited for my answer.

"It went really well actually. I'm going to go back on Monday after school, he had a few more ideas," I replied politely, ignoring Eleanor's annoyed look as I set the pot of water on to boil.

I heard whispering behind me before the two raced upstairs. My stomach churned and knotted as painfully as my heart was crushed in my chest, the combined pain leaving my breathless and trying not to gasp for air. If they weren't having sex before I got to the house they almost certainly were about to. Eleanor was one of the most jealous people I knew and for some reason she really didn't like me.

"Well, wasn't that pleasant?" Lottie sighed, a small, apologetic smile playing at her lips. She knew what I knew. I waited to hear any tell tale signs of sex as I kept on with my task.

It was mere minutes before I heard a door slam, then footsteps on the stairs as a pissed looking Eleanor stomped down them. I quirked an eyebrow to Lottie who shrugged at me, both of us curiously peering at the frazzled girl who was glaring at me as though I would be eviscerated the harder she concentrated. I blinked at her, wide eyed before she let out a furious scoff and stormed out the door.

I glanced at Lottie, her face a mixture of shock and amusement as she met my eyes before we both burst out laughing. That's how Louis found us, in hysterics, trying to breathe. He looked mildly irritated when he came down, his hair had been pushed into a messy quiff, glinting under the harsh kitchen lights as his prominent cheekbones were illuminated. I absently wondered why Zayn hadn't asked Louis to model for him.

I raised a questioning eyebrow towards Louis who wrinkled his nose in answer. His younger sister took that as her excuse to leave us alone, disappearing down the hall in the direction of her room. Louis hopped up on the counter, swinging his feet happily as I placed the garlic bread in the oven.

"That was fast. Or could you just not get it up? I can see how Eleanor would be rather off putting," I teased lightly. Louis rolled his eyes.

"Right comedian you are, but we both know neither of those things is true, love. And if I couldn't have gotten it up it's because you ruined me," he laughed, grinning cheekily.

"Well, I do that have effect on people," I sighed, flipping my hair dramatically as I leaned on the marble counter top of the bar in the kitchen, across from Louis. There was a slight lull in conversation and I waited for him to speak.

"She found my hickies," he explained casually, blue eyes shining brightly without an ounce of regret in them. My eyebrows reached for my hairline in slight shock.

"Sorry," I apologized, more out of obligation than actual shame. I wouldn't regret the night before in a million years.

"It's not your fault, and last night was fun. El and I... we don't have fun together anymore. I mean, we haven't had sex in months, which would be fine but it seems like the only thing that kept us together you know? We'd fight, we'd make up. But now all we do is argue. I'm really not even sure it's worth it anymore," Louis told me quietly, gripping the counter tightly as he leaned closer so he wouldn't fall. It felt like he was telling me his next scheme, not talking about the dissolution of his relationship.

"So why did you get back together with her?" I inquired easily. Sometimes I felt like an absolute badass the way that I could conceal my emotions so smoothly. Others I felt incredibly stupid and worthless for letting myself fall apart and being so obvious. But right then, the thrill of their relationship being over for good-possibly anyways-was zinging it's way through my veins.

"Because," Louis replied shortly. I knew I wasn't going to get much more of an answer out of him. That much was obvious when he hopped off the counter to go and occupy the twins.

Dinner went smoothly which was a feat in itself in the Tomlinson household. Most of the time a food fight broke out because Lou decided to be funny and throw something at me or one of the girls. And let's be honest, who doesn't love a food fight. Being around Louis brought out the child in me, giving me the experiences that were stolen when I actually was one. It was one of the many reasons I was so gone for him.

"Story!" Daisy commanded, bouncing excitedly in her bed.

"No! Sing!" Phoebe decided, equally hyper in her own bed. I was going to kill Louis for riling them up like that before bed. It was hard enough to get them to sleep as it was but he just had to go and chase them around the house. It was undeniably cute, watching him in big brother mode, but when I was the one who had to put them to bed; well, the aftermath drove me insane.

"How about you both get into bed and stay still and I'll do both?" I suggested hopefully. My persuasion tactics were ignored as the two began a pillow fight. I sighed and stood there, waiting for them to burn themselves out.

It took me another fifteen minutes to get them settled and asleep. Two bedtime stories and one song later, the twins were passed out cold on either side of me in Phobe's bed. I giggled softly to myself as I held them closer, kissing their foreheads.

Oh so carefully I cradled Daisy in my arms and set her gently in her own bed, creeping out of their shared room. Louis was leaning against the doorframed to his room, a small, private smile playing on his lips as his blue eyes fixed on me.

"You're really great with them, you know. They really love you," he chuckled a bit mockingly. I rolled my eyes and tried to calm my rapidly beating heart that had picked up when I realized how little clothing his was wearing.

It wasn't unusual, but the way the yellow glow of the hall light his Louis's exposed, tanned torso practically had me salivating. The expanse of his toned muscles, clenching beneath the silky smooth skin dusted with darkish hairs on his chest and a little strip leading down into his low hanging sweats, it all had my head spinning. Yeah, I know, pathetic. But there were just these moments where Louis would catch me off guard and shock me speechless at his beauty.

"Stupid twat, eavesdropping," I huffed once my brain had decided to catch up with the situation. As I pushed past him into his room it struck me as kind of funny that I had picked up his cussing habits when in America people would rarely say twat.

"Fucking _language_ , M," Louis smirked, shutting the door behind him and making us both laugh. Yeah, I was in love with an idiot.

******

"Are you really sure you want to do this?" Liam whispered in the hallway, barely audible. I nodded as anxiety and fear swirled inside me. He sighed deeply, louder than he was even speaking as he fiddled with his phone.

"I'll be right here. As soon as you give me the signal or call my name I'll be right there," Liam assured me, his brown puppy dog eyes exuding concern for my well being.

"It'll be worth it in the end Payno. Don't worry. The only thing you should be focused on is making sure that Louis doesn't kill me afterwards and getting Zayn to sleep with you," I teased, trying to lighten the heavy mood. The tension had settled upon us in a suffocating magnitude. It was a tangible, pulsating being that thickened the air. To Liam's credit he did have the decency to blush.

"Good luck, Mercy. Love you," Liam said, forcing a smile as he pecked me on the forehead. I sucked in a deep breath and waited for the telltale sounds of Lottie and Max.

Liam and I were hiding out in the hallway, around the corner from where I'd first discovered Lottie getting bullied the day before. I'd learned from her before I went to bed that her getting picked on by Max was a daily occurence, like clock work. All I had to do was wait it out and get her to leave before the incredibly stupid and probably painful plan I'd come up with was set in motion.

I heard the voices, I heard the taunts and I waited. Liam gave me an encouraging jerk of the head before I rushed to defend one of my best friends, forcing my body to move. It wasn't easy. My limbs were rebelling against me, knowing what was to come. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as my flight or fight response to the coming events were being processed. I fought to stay in the moment, to not slip back into my past as my ears started to ring and I stepped in front of Lottie.

"Again?! What the fuck don't you understand by next time you'll pay?" Max snarled. I could practically feel Lottie shaking. I gulped and hung on to consciousness as my vision started to blur for a moment.

I faintly heard myself tell Lottie to get out of there and her protest before she gave in. I watched her scurry away before I turned back to Max. His face kept changing. It kept morphing into another, one that I was infinitely more terrified of; but I couldn't leave. I had to stay in the present. I had to set him off. I needed a certain reaction for this to work and I couldn't get that if I passed out or started to cry or scream uncontrollably.

"So you like bullying little girls huh?" I began. It was a speech that I'd come up with the night before and I did everything I could to attack his pride, his ego, his sexuality. It was a litany of insults that finally broke an enraged Max before I was being slapped to the ground.

I panted, squeezing my eyes shut as my face stung, tingling until it was numb. I couldn't feel my mouth for a moment as more beratements spilled from my lips and then there was a heavy kick landing straight in my stomach, knocking the air out of me. There were shooting pains, ones that left me barely able to breathe as more abuse was rained down. It was something that I hadn't faced in years and I reverted back to my instincts to just curl up and take it.

It was like my entire body was radiating pain. The intense stinging, throbbing, aching rolled off me in waves as I finally gasped and raised my arm, my hand clenched in a fist. _To infinity and beyond_. I thought. I would have laughed if I'd had the breath to but everything stopped.

"Smile for the camera boys," Liam called. I raised my head, barely able to focus on what was in front of me, the entire world spinning. Finally my eyes came to rest on Liam who looked like he was trying not to freak out as he rushed forward and helped me up, my body screaming in protest to moving.

I gripped Liam's shoulder and leaned on him while his arm was wrapped securely around my waist, avoiding a too tight hold. We both faced a mortified looking Max and a fearful Jason who had just stood there and watched the entire time.

"What the fuck is this?" Max hissed, glaring at me and Liam. I gave him my best 'fuck you' smile. It was when I tried to go for a triumphant grin that I realized my upper lip was spilt open just barely a few centimeters from the right corner of my mouth.

"Well, what this is, _Max_ , is an intervention of sorts. Or, I guess, if you want to get really technical about it, it's blackmail," I explained smugly. Yeah, getting the crap beat out of me didn't get in the way of me being a smart ass. I really needed to stop hanging out with Louis so much.

The anger, the cold, hard, unfeeling anger reflected in Max's eyes had me shivering. I could tell he wanted to destroy us, that he was doing his best to contain his homocidal thoughts at the moment as he listened with clenched fists.

"You're going to stop bullying people. Period. But most of all; you will not touch Lottie. You will not talk to Lottie. You will not so much as look at her the wrong way or I will take this recording up to the principal's office and you'll be kicked off the team, maybe even out of the school," I ordered fiercely, trying not to tremble in pain as I delivered my demands.

"Anything else princess?" Max sneered, his upper lip curling in disgust. I shuddered, my knees almost giving out at the nickname.

"At lunch you find her and you apologize," I smiled, lacing my voice with as much sickly sweetness as possible. The pure look of hate that I received had me curling into Liam who was eyeing both boys and sizing them up. It was a warning that they read loud and clear. They left us alone and I nearly collapsed.

Liam caught me and had to practically drag me to the nearest bathroom. He sat me down on the edge of the sink before ripping paper towels up and carefully swiping at my bleeding lip. I held the rough piece of paper to my throbbing face, the coolness of the water soaking it, soothing it somewhat.

"You do know you're insane right?" Liam asked with a hint of awe in his voice as he looked me over, searching for any other signs of what had happened.

"Yeah well, I've handled worse," I shrugged, wincing when more stabs of pain rang throughout my sore muscles. I was going to be stiff and bruised for days. Liam's eyes dropped to the hem of my shirt and I sighed, sliding softly to my feet and holding my arms straight out to the sides. I indulged his curiousity, knowing he was just worried about me.

Liam's fingers fluttered for a moment before he slowly peeled my shirt up, seemingly afraid of what he'd find. He gasped when he saw the damage, and I really didn't have the stomach to look myself just yet. If there were already marks I could only imagine how horrible it would look later when my body had an opportunity to let the bruises fully develop. I felt something cold trace over a spot on my stomach just above the waist band of my jeans on the right side and the muscles of my stomach contracted painfully.

"What's that?" Liam wondered, his brow furrowed in confusion as his eyes raised to meet mine. They were all liquid chocolate, almost watering, and wide as he stared inquisitively at me.

"Just an old scar. Got it a long time ago, don't worry about it," I assured him, gently dropping my arms. Liam could see the weight of my answer and chose not to press the issue, ignoring the way that I refused to meet his eyes after. He let me keep my secret, letting my shirt settle back on my body.

The bell rang, lunch imminent and I sighed. Once again I would have to fake that I wasn't in excrutiating pain of some sort and it wasn't going to be fun. Liam insisted on carrying me to the lunch table if I was going to stay at school but shut up when I gave him my best 'I love you but back the fuck off' look. It was usually one I didn't have to use on him but I needed some space so I could compose myself. Having Liam clucking around me like a mother hen wouldn't help with that.

I went back to my third period to collect the things I'd left behind before pushing back out into the hallway, headed out to meet my friends. Louis was waiting for me, his back pressed to the lockers next to the door. Fuck.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains triggering material as it talks about an attempted suicide.

Liam's POV:

Louis was going to kill me for letting it happen, I just knew it. I flinched everytime Max kicked Mercy, the poor girl lying on the ground helplessly. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to intervene until she was ready. I wanted to rip Max's flipping head off. Who in the hell picks on people like that?! Much less defenseless girls Mercy's size. She was so tiny!

Finally she held up her fist, her arm shaking from the effort of the movement and like lightning I was there, tearing the scumbag away from Mercy. I held her close, trying to keep calm as we faced the pathetic excuse for a human being.

I had never been more amazed or proud or exasperated with one person in my entire life as I was with Mercy. I couldn't decide if what she did was brave or mad. When I examined the bruises already forming on her body I decided it was both. She had to have known what she was getting into. I could see how truly scared she was before she stepped into the corridor. But she went ahead and did it. She did it because she loved Lottie.

A scar caught my eye. It was paper white, raised from the rest of Mercy's pale skin, much like the one she kept hidden on her arm. I couldn't help but trace it gently with my fingers, asking her about it. It didn't look like something she would have done herself. Of course there could be a million explanations for it but the look in her eye, the one that told me to drop it, made me think it was much more than she tried to lead me to believe.

I left her alone, my thoughts consumed with Mercy's odd behavior over the past couple of years, and her puzzling logic as I headed outside. I was a little more eager than I should have been. I'll admit that much. But if there was one person who could take my mind off of everything that seemed to bother me, he was probably already waiting at our usual table.

I smiled brightly at the gorgeous boy in front of me, his insanely long eyelashes fluttering along the sharp cheekbones as he tipped his head back with his eyes closed, enjoying the light breeze. Every fiber of my being screamed at me to kiss his perfect pouty lips, red from the chill in the air. I settled for plopping down next to him, brushing my hand over his thigh to announce my presence.

Bright, amber brown eyes opened to take me in and a small smile peeked out of Zayn's normal 'I don't give a fuck' exterior that he-for some reason or another- felt he had to maintain. I grinned back at him when his slightly calloused fingers ghosted over my palm sending thrills racing up my spine. We both stifled dopy grins at the small action.

I saw his eyebrows knit together as Zayn looked over my shoulder and I turned to follow his gaze, landing on Mercy who was limping a bit, making a valliant effort to appear fine. I groaned and gripped the bench tightly, my knuckles going white, to stop myself from springing up to help her.

"What's wrong with her?" Zayn inquired. I shook my head and passed him my phone, tapping it a few times to bring up the video.

"Fucking hell," Zayn cursed just after Mercy and Louis reached us. I swallowed the lump in my throat when she gave me a weak smile.

" _Mercy!_ " Zayn chastised, narrowing his eyes at her. Somehow he didn't doubt that it was her idea. A rush of warmth gushed through me that Zayn knew me so well, he'd automatically deduced who was actually behind the horrific clip on my phone. And now I'm sounding like a stupid teenage girl, but he's just so brilliant.

Mercy looked up with wide, faux-innocent eyes. If I didn't know she was faking then I would've believed her ploy to pretend she didn't understand why Zayn was upset in a heartbeat. But I could see the pain, the way that she had sat gingerly, and how she was keeping uncomfortably still. Mercy Peterson _never_ sat completely still. That was Zayn's thing. The rest of us were always moving somehow.

"What's going on?" Louis asked immediately. He must have had some of his own suspiscions, I mean, who wouldn't with the way that Mercy had been walking; and the bright red cut on her lip was hard to miss.

Zayn passed Lou my phone and I watched closely as his features warred, trying to decide how to react physically to what he was seeing. So many emotions flitted across his face that I couldn't keep up but anger and confusion were the dominant ones as he watched Mercy get kicked repeatedly.

I felt fingers lace through mine and I squeezed the hand offered to me gratefully, wanting nothing more than to melt into Zayn and disappear. His calm presence usually helped pacify any niggling worry and it was no different in that moment. I sighed and waited for Louis to start yelling at me.

 

Mercy's POV:

I was so, so screwed, and not in the fun way. As soon as Louis caught sight of me he knew something was wrong. It wasn't hard to tell. I felt like my entire body was on fire with the burn of harsh pain radiating throughout. It was nothing compared to the pleasantness of blazing flames when Louis kissed me. This was entirely horrendous and it hurt like a mother fucker.

I could see Louis's vibrant blue eyes darken dangerously as they narrowed and fell to my split open lip which had thankfully decided not to swell. I stood tall and tried to control the urge to limp as I met him outside of my classroom. I could see the question in his eyes, the worry and the annoyance. He was going to pester me to all ends of the earth until I told him what happened.

"What happened to your face?" Louis demanded as I brushed past him, heading to lunch. He easily caught up, falling into step beside me.

"I fell," I replied simply, biting back a sarcastic comment about his face. It would've just pissed him off even more and I would be lying because he was absolutely gorgeous.

"You fell?" Louis repeated skeptically. I avoided his eyes, focusing on getting through the throng of students separating me from freedom without any bodily harm. I'd already had enough of that to last me a lifetime.

Louis began to open his mouth, his fingers softly brushing over my wrist like he was thinking about grabbing it before Lottie came bounding up to us. She was beaming as she threw her arms around my neck. I stumbled back, catching her as my aching body shrieked from the effort.

"I don't know what you did, but thank you so much," Lottie grinned, pulling back to kiss my cheek before she went flouncing down the hallway, her blonde hair whipping around.

Louis's brow furrowed in confusion and I hurried to get away from him and his questions. I had a hard time lying to him and he knew it. I sought solace in Liam and Zayn, spotting them at our table and trying to walk as fast as I could. Of course that meant that I had to limp to get anywhere. Again; Fuck!

It was when I sat that I realized Liam wouldn't have been able to keep what happened a secret from Zayn. As soon as Louis was next to me, his eyes still narrowed and eyebrows still knitted together Zayn scolded me. I could live with that. But I died the moment that Louis started watching the video. I watched his face transform from one of confusion to anger. A stony silence fell over the four of us before Niall and Harry popped up, distracting the two other boys.

"I can't fucking believe you did that," Louis huffed, glaring down at the table. I felt as though it were about to explode at any second the way that he was so concentrated on it.

"I woud do anything for Lottie, for any of the girls, you know that," I murmured. I felt like a shamed child with their hand caught in the cookie jar. But I did what I had to, just like Louis would have done.

"M, they fucking beat you up!" Louis growled under his breath, doing his best not to draw any attention to our conversation. He needn't have worried. I distinctly heard something along the lines of "Mom and Dad are fighting again. They need to just fuck and get it over with already so the rest of us don't have to deal with this" from Niall. They knew what was happening. I'm sure that Liam or Zayn had probably filled them in already.

"But now they're going to leave her alone," I shrugged, or I tried my best to, given the circumstances I got my shoulders about halfway into the motion before I dropped them, sharp pains once again halting my actions.

"You should have told me! I could've-I could've done something," Louis insisted, finally turning to look at me, his eyes boring into my own.

"You would have just gotten kicked off the team," I whispered, gnawing on my lower lip, no doubt turning it blood red. It stung but it was harder to look at the concern pouring out of that one look Louis was giving me. I hated that look, he'd given it to me plenty of times and each and every time I loathed that I had made him worry.

I suddenly felt a hand slip underneath mine where it was resting on my thigh, fingers entwining with my own. Louis gave me a gentle, reassuring squeeze in gratitude for what I had done. It was something that didn't need to be said. In that one simple gesture it was as if I could feel everything that Louis was. I closed the space between us, pressing my shoulder firmly to his and basking in the intimacy that was brought just by the way his thumb rubbed circles onto the back of my hand.

"How bad is it?" Louis finally asked, his eyes flicking down to my torso. I swallowed thickly, my throat going dry as I turned to our friends and joined in the conversation. Louis just held onto me tighter.

******

I managed to duck out of school quickly once it was over, eager to get away from Louis's prying eyes. I knew that if it were up to him he'd probably tie me to something and rip my shirt off to see what damage I had sustained. Which is...actually a pretty enjoyable thought, being handcuffed to a bed while he had his way with me. I let my mind wander down that path for a second as I carefully made my way up to my room, moving slower than molasses. Actually, no, I was moving slower than Zayn and that was saying something.

The few moments I was able to let my mind drift, muddling it with the possibilites of what sex with Louis would be like the pain was held at bay. But I had to shake my head in an effort to banish those stupid ideas, knowing it would never happen. I sighed heavily, way too tired to be self deprecating at that moment.

Groaning, I felt tears prick my eyes as I langorously undressed, taking more time than usual. At that point it all hurt too much to do anything more than just fall back on my bed with a grunt in my underwear, closing my eyes. I wished that I couldn't feel my body, that it didn't feel like I was being crushed with heavy ass rocks.

I knew what I had to do to feel better. I'd done it all before at a younger age but back then, I was used to this. I was used to the aches and throbs and the sickening dark bruises. But that was a long time ago. Right then I couldn't muster up enough strength to even turn my head when the door opened, just trying to get my unbearbly stiff limbs to relax.

"Fucking hell," a low curse sounded. Of course Louis would have come to check on me. He was nothing if not persistent. I moaned pitifully and flopped limply to my side, drawing my knees up with my back to him. I should have locked the fucking door for once.

The bed dipped and then a warm hand was tracing over the knobs of my spine, evident under my pale skin. I heard the rustling of the duvet before it was pulled over me and Louis was laying with his chest pressed to my back, an arm carefully resting over my waist. The brush of soft lips skimmed over the back of my neck as his hot breath fanned over the skin leaving an eruption of goosebumps in it's wake.

"You can't do shit like this," Louis breathed, nosing into the nape of my neck past my hair.

"I did it to protect Lottie," I argued again somewhat weakly. I was exhausted and everything hurt. My ribs, my stomach, my arms, my hips, my heart. I just wanted to sleep, to escape the world for a while.

"I know you did, and you'll never know how grateful I am, but I hate seeing you like this Mercy. It bloody scares me to death. It's like That Night all over again sometimes. When I see you like this, all I keep picturing is that awful hospital and seeing you lying broken in the bed with all those machines beeping. Things keep happening to you and you almost die and I can't stand it. It's one thing when you don't do it on purpose like almost drowning but it's another when you put yourself in these situations where I can't protect you," Louis murmured, his thumb stroking over the scar on my left forearm, running over the raised skin.

I sighed and nodded, wanting to face him, but at the same time glad that I couldn't see the strained look on his face. I knew what I did That Night wasn't fair, I just didn't think I'd be around to see the aftermath of it. Sometimes I wished I wasn't. It would have been a lot easier if I weren't.

"I'm never going to do that again Lou, you know that. I'm so, so sorry that you found me," I whispered shamefully, a tear rolling from the corner of my eye sideways into my hair.

Louis leaned up on his elbow, bending over me slightly and kissing my cheek tenderly. I fought the urge to meet his lips with my own, staying positively still as his mouth peppered kisses on my face.

"I'm happy I found you. If I hadn't then I don't know what I would have done," he assured me with another kiss to the corner of my mouth.

Louis's POV:

Words could never express the intensity of That Night. I remembered it all too well, like it was yesterday, and it killed me every time I was forced to recall, in almost perfect detail, those events. I had been coming to visit Mercy, for God knows what. I was always with her. The why I was there didn't matter as soon as I realized something was off when I arrived.

~ ** _Flashback_** ~

"Mercy? M? Where are you, love?" I called, searching all the usual places. Something was wrong. It was too quiet in the near empty house. Mercy didn't like silence, it invited in the memories that haunted her, whatever they were. I felt my entire body go numb, paralyzed with fear as I forced myself to keep moving. My blood had run cold and my heart was pounding in my ears, drowning out any other sounds.

I raced through the house, up the stairs and bursting back into her room. There was only one place left to check. I prayed that she was somewhere, anywhere else. I knew things were bad, she had been cutting again, and becoming increasingly withdrawn, but I had hoped it would never come to this. I had wished with everything thing I had that she could be happy, that what she had now would be enough to outdistance the pain of her past.

"No! Mercy, no!" I screamed, falling to my knees. She lay in a pool of her own blood, her hair matted to her neck with the thick, sticky crimson flow pouring from her arm. Tears streamed down my cheek as I fumbled with my phone with one hand and pressed a towel firmly to her arm with my other one, desperate to staunch the bleeding, desperate to keep her alive.

The ambulance was on their way but I couldn't, I just couldn't. She was deathly pale, absolutely still as the towel became soaked through with her blood. I could taste the bile rising, burning my throat. I tried to stifle the screams that threatened to spill out before they were ripped from me, until my vocal chords were raw.

"Please Mercy, please stay with me. Baby, please, don't leave me! I need you!" I shouted, over and over, begging and pleading with the unconscious girl until my voice was no louder than a whisper, hoarse and raspy as I rode with her in an ambulance. I clutched her free hand, the one that wasn't marred with a vertical cut almost all the way up her forearm, pressing my lips to her knuckles.

Tears were drying on my cheeks. Everything was so surreal, it was as if I was having an out of body experience, watching the scene from above. My mind wasn't registering anything. Everything that was being spoken, everything that I saw, passed in a daze, a blur of images and words until it was hours later and my mother was in front of me. She gripped my shoulders, shaking me, her cheeks wet and her eyes bloodshot.

I didn't respond, I didn't move, I don't remember having any other thought than _Let her be okay. Don't let her die, please don't let her die. Please God, DON'T LET HER DIE!_

I stayed frozen in place, only moving to go to the loo every now and then. I wouldn't leave to eat or sleep. I'd stay there and drift off into a fitful sleep every now and then, tortured by dull gray eyes where hazel ones should be, imagining her dead in front of me.

It wasn't until almost a day later that we were all told that she was going to live, just with an ugly scar, that I finally found myself breathing again as if I'd been holding my breath for almost twenty four hours.

~ ** _End of Flashback_** ~

That Night, well, it was the night that I came so close to losing every part of my sanity. Mercy was one of the most important people in my life. I couldn't imagine going through each and very day without her. It'd be like not being able to see my mom or my sisters. It'd be like losing a part of myself.

"I'm still sorry," Mercy told me, breaking into my thoughts when I settled back down. I nodded, my chin bumping against her smooth back. I didn't feel like talking about it anymore. I was content with just holding her for a while until it was necessary for me to move.


	7. Chapter 7

Mercy's POV:

I lay there, trapped by Louis's arm as well as the inability to move without wanting to die, breathing evenly and feeling the heartbeat of the boy behind me against my back. It was steady, strong, reaching out from his body and into mine. It was one of those times where we both just let everything go. We were Louis and Mercy, just us, nothing else. Both remembering what brought us together, what kept us that way and hoping to never be torn apart.

His warmth was seeping into my skin until I no longer hurt. I was melted into the mattress below us, reveling in the safe, content feeling that was gracing me. It was something I almost never felt, so fragile and rare the tiniest movement or word could break it.

Of course that meant it had to be broken. I was drenched in safety, dripping with the security that Louis gave me when he hesitantly drew back enough to kiss my cheek again before rolling away. I fought back the groan of disappointment, unwilling to move so I could see him.

"I'll be back, I have to get my homework," Louis whispered as if he sensed the delicate nature of the atmosphere. I grunted in acknowledgment, a smile creeping across my face. He would be back. I let my eyes flutter shut, hoping to slip into nothingness for a little while.

******

"After school today, yeah?" Zayn asked Monday at lunch, confirming our plans. I absently nodded, trying to focus on my friends instead of the pain that I was in. It'd been three days and my body was healing but it was taking longer than I wished it would. I still had gigantic brusises all over my stomach and ribs from Max fucking kick me like one of those fucking soccer balls but it wasn't as bad as it had been-thank God.

Louis pressed closer to me, almost unconsciously as his blue eyes flicked from my face to Harry's who was telling him about some soccer match. Ever since I'd purposely gotten beaten up-"Like a fucking mental person" according to Niall-Louis had been practically stalking me. I was being escorted to each class and his baby blues were nearly always on me. It wasn't that I minded all that much but it was getting to be more than a little ridiculous.

In fact he followed me all the way to my next class after lunch when I left early. I just needed a little space. I was being suffocated. I loved Louis, I really did, more than he would ever know, but c'mon! He wasn't doing this because he wanted to. He was doing it because he felt like he had to and I didn't need a fucking bodyguard.

"Jesus, Lou. When're you gonna stop?" I demanded irritably, my body groaning in protest to the sudden pace I'd set.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied a tad too innocently. He knew exactly what I was saying. It was our thing, being able to decipher even the vaguest responses unless we really didn't want the other to know what we meant.

"Louis," I growled insistently, shooting him a glare.

"I just don't want you to get hurt. I wanna be there so it doesn't happen again," he sighed. Louis looked exhausted, rugged and sexy as hell with his scruff, but run down nonetheless.

"It's not going to. You know he's too much of a coward to find out how serious I was about the video," I assured Louis as we paused a few feet away from my class. He nodded mutely, blue eyes boring into hazel.

"Have you gotten any sleep at all?" I inquired gently, unable to resist taking a step forward and cupping his cheek, rubbing my thumb over the dark circles under his eyes, the knuckle hitting his black frames.

Louis shook his head, flicking his bangs to the side, the feather like strands curling up at the ends as they swung low over his forehead. He hadn't bothered with an artfull quiff, letting his hair loose. In fact he was even wearing his glasses and damn if he didn't look aboslutely mouthwateringly hot.

"Why not?" I asked, even quieter than before, afraid of his answer but refusing to be the one who looked away first.

"I keep having That Dream again," he murmured shamefully, eyes dropping to our feet. I could feel tears prick the corners of my eyes and my throat constrict before I was roughly pulling my best friend into a hug.

Louis sank into me, holding on as tightly as he could without hurting me, with his face buried in my neck. I could feel his hot breath trickling down my back, prickles of heat raining down on me. His lips were pressed to my skin, his scruff rasping against the unblemished softness of it. I shivered, one hand tangled in his hair, the other gripping his shoulder.

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise, Louis. I will never, ever, do that to you again. I'm not going to leave you. You're stuck with me for the rest of our lives whether you like it or not," I whispered fiercely. It was one thing for me to have nightmares. I couldn't control them. But I would not have him going through the same thing because of something stupid that I did. It wasn't fair that Louis had to live with my mistakes too, dreaming about That Night over and over again.

His hand trailed over my back as he nodded, kissing the juncture of where my shoulder met my neck before pulling away. I held his watery gaze imploringly. He gave me a short nod in understanding, kissing my forehead slowly as if he never intended to retreat. But the bell going off, well, that forced it. Another small peck on the corner of my mouth, right where it curved up and a full body shudder from me, and Louis was gone, heading for his own class.

******

It was the last period of the day when Louis and I were pulled out of class. We exchanged looks of confusion, our eyebrows knitted together with worry. I couldn't recall any plans for a prank and I hadn't done anything. I never did, unless Lou had somehow talked me into either taking the fall for him or roping me into helping with some ludicrous idea of his.

I wished we'd gotten in trouble. Instead we were met with the site of the twins, cheeks flushed as they sniffled, their hands held by the nurse from their preschool just down the street. I immediately crouched in front of them, one hand to each heated forehead, sighing heavily. It was going to be a long couple of days. When the twins got sick they were even more of a handful than they already were.

"I'm so sorry but they were sick and your mother couldn't get off work," the nurse explained to Louis who was hovering slightly behind me. The twins were tugging on the woman's hands, reaching out for the two of us incessantly now that we were in sight. My heart broke just a little bit.

"Well they can't miss class. We're going over esstentials for the upcoming midterms," Mr. Allen droned in his signature monotone. He wasn't as annoying as the rest of the teachers and he didn't assign much work but he one of the most boring voices in the universe. It was practically garunteed to put you to sleep.

"Do you mind if they just stay with us in the back? They won't talk, they don't feel well enough," I requested nervously, chewing on my bottom lip. I hated talking to teachers, even the nice ones. Just knowing they had the power to punish me had me jumping out of my skin.

Mr. Allen pursed his lips, his silver hair glinting in the light of the hallway as he finally nodded his consent, curtly turning on his heel. I breathed a sigh of relief as I held out my arms. Daisy instantly falling into them, her fluffy blonde hair tickling the underside of my chin as I lifted her up. I had forgotten how badly moving with heavy objects still hurt and Daisy wasn't even heavy.

My wince didn't go unnoticed but Louis decided not to comment as he scooped Phoebe up. He settled for a sympathetic look and a sweet kiss to my forehead. Somehow I still managed to shiver. Apparently it was 'kiss Mercy silly day'. Obviously it didn't take much.

We tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, heading towards our seats but when you had two insanely adorable five years olds clutched to your chest with matching outfits and pigtails, it's going to draw attention. Especially when the entire class stops to look at you like you killed someone for coming in late before they start going all gushy over the twins.

I carefully cradled Daisy in my arms, Louis right behind me with a supporting hand on my lower back. It felt like fire leeching through my shirt, burning his fingerprints into my skin even with the fabric acting as a barrier. I resisted the urge to lean back into the touch, to slow so that our sides were pressed together. Ever since the other night when Louis got off, every single brush of his lips, his hands, his anything had been received more intensely than before by my nerve endings. It was driving me insane in the best way possible.

I sank gratefully down in my seat with Daisy curling up into me, resting on my chest, her tiny hands balled up into little fists and her face buried in my neck. Phoebe wasn't much different from her sister in Louis's lap. I sighed and tried to keep breathing. It wasn't that the five year old was heavy, it was just the fact that I wasn't very big to begin with but the added pain from my injuries made it harder to fill my lungs. Then again, being breathless was something I was used to being around Louis all the time.

Nobody paid any attention to the lecture. Louis and I checking up on the twins every other second, the two little girls dozing in and out of consciousness, burrowing into us, and the rest of the class glancing back at us. It didn't really surprise me. No one could resist the Tomlinson charm and the twins were still just babies which made them doubly difficult to ignore. Besides, they were a lot more interesting than the notes we were all supposed to be taking even if all they did was whimper occasionally and refuse to look at anyone else.

Almost the entire population of girls stayed behind after the bell had gone off to coo at the little girls who had begun squirming under the attention. My back was starting to hurt and it was getting harder and harder to draw breath. Louis, acknowledging my distress, draped an arm over my shoulder and guided us through the crowd of teenagers, balancing Phoebe on his hip with practiced ease.

I gratefully melted into him, sagging a bit under the weight of my backpack and the five year old. I had already texted Zayn that I would be late to the art session or whatever but I wasn't sure I even wanted to go anymore. A nice hot bubble bath sounded in order. I honestly hated baths because I got bored too quickly but it seemed the perfect way to finally relax my muscles and relieve some aches.

Louis kept me close as we made our way to his car, his fingers lightly tracing patterns over my bicep. He was going to be the fucking death of me I swear to God. Louis buckled the twins into the back seat, with me in the middle because he didn't have the necessary booster seats. I let my head loll back, greedily sucking in air as Louis started the car.

"Thanks for helping," Louis sighed, running his fingers through his hair. I nodded with a noncommittal shrug. We had managed to wrangle Daisy and Phoebe into pajamas after persuading them to take their medicine. And by persuade I mean do everything short of tying them up.

His blue eyes locked with the hazel of mine and I gave him a tentative smile. Something heavy was hanging in the air, something palpable and indescribable. We just stood there, in the hallway by the door staring at each other, barely a foot away.

The blue irises were ringed with gold near the pupil, contracting as they took in the light. The pink of Louis's tongue flicked out over his thin lips, my eyes catching the motion. My heart was thumping loudly, blood rushing through my ears as Louis continued to gaze intently at me. There was a flutter of a tug in my lower abdomen that began to knot under the scrutinizing look of my best friend.

I struggled to think of something, anything, to say but found my breath had hitched to a point I couldn't even have formed words if I'd had them. Then lips were on mine, slightly wet but still perfect. Soft, gentle sliding of mouths as Louis's hands shot out and gripped my hips, thumbs rubbing over the exposed skin. I sighed into his mouth, my arms wrapping around his shoulders and my back arching as I eagerly responded.

I was so lost in the sensation of Louis's mouth, the hot wet, slide of his tongue over mine, the nipping of his teeth on my lower lip. It felt as though before I'd been dangling on the edge of a cliff above a pool of water and now I was plunged underneath the lapping waves.

Our bodies were pressed together and we were kissing fiercely, tongues tangling and curling as they fought for dominance. I could feel the hard lines of his body rolling slightly with mine as I was bent backwards, Louis's hands pushing up the back of my shirt and curving over my spine. I shivered, goose bumps breaking out, moaning when his teeth scraped over my lip and his stubble drug over my skin. Earning a groan of my own when I sucked his tongue into my mouth, my fingers threading through his soft locks.

We were suddenly being knocked into, the door having opened. Just like that it was over, stumbling sideways, still holding each other tightly before we yanked our hands back as though we'd been burned. Which, was in fact the best way to describe the desire rampantly thrumming it's way through my body. I mourned the loss of his lips and his hands, craving his touch and his kiss.

"Shit, sorry!" Lottie swore, her head appearing from the other side of the door. Satisfied that we were out of her way she stepped inside and shut the door behind her.

"You do know you're not supposed to hang out in front of the door right? That's just common sense," she added, eyeing us suspiciously. I gave her a nervous smile and her eyes narrowed before she left us alone again.

I turned back to Louis, his lips kiss bitten and shiny, his hair ruffled more than it had been and his shirt twisted a bit. A thrill raced up my spine knowing that I was the one who had caused that slightly debauched look.

I cocked an eyebrow at Lou, hoping for an explanation. I mean, before, it made sense, we'd discussed somewhat what was going on but this was completely out of the blue. Not that I was complaining but I was sufficiently confused.

"Just...thanks," Louis smiled sheepishly, his thumb skimming over my cheek before he turned towards the stairs. I stood there, unmoving so freaking puzzled it wasn't even funny. I was suddenly a little more than happy I was going to Zayn's. He was the least confusing boy ever, even if he acted like he was one of the most complicated beings on the planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was kind of intriguing. Hmmm....what's going on with Looouis? :)
> 
> Please don't forget to vote as many times as you're allowed! My birthday is this Sunday and it would be the best freaking birthday present you could give me besides reading my story. I will also be updating then too as a special birthday type thing :) Thank you and love you all!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to meee! :) As promised, I am updating this story reeeally early in the week because it tis my birthday! :) There is some slash in the very beginning, not very much but if you scroll down to Mercy's POV it'll be done and over with. :) Love you all! 
> 
> And also, trigger warning! This chapter and the next is going to start delving into Mercy's past so be very careful when reading if you think it might be something to set you off. I honestly don't know what would trigger anyone in my writing because I don't know what you've been through so please be careful and I really hope this doesn't freak you out.

Liam's POV:

I giggled uncontrollably as Zayn tickled my sides, looming above as he straddled my hips. He had this smile on his face, the smile that he seemed to reserve only for me and it made me laugh even harder and my stomach churn pleasantly.

"C'mon stop it!" I begged, tears practically running down my cheeks. He grinned crookedly, falling forward, supporting his weight with a hand on either side of my head. His amber eyes suddenly darkened to chocolate brown as a hand was lifted to softly skitter over my cheek, the rough callouses catching slightly on my scruff.

I wiggled underneath the raven haired boy, my hips pressing to his even more firmly, my cock already half hard from having Zayn on top of me for almost fifteen minutes. The corners of his mouth turned up as he settled on my lap, grinding his seriously underrated arse onto my semi. My eyes fluttered shut and my hands immediately reached out for his hips, fingers biting into his skinny frame.

Zayn leaned over, his lips skimming over mine teasingly before he surged forward, the kiss quickly turning desperate. It was all teeth and tongues clashing into a well practiced dance. Fuck it was so good, the feeling of him canting his hips down into mine as I bucked up, frantically seeking friction. We groaned when our cocks came into contact even through layers of clothes, our hips slotting together when Zayn laid out on top of me.

"Shit. What about Mercy?" I breathed, trying to fight off the lust that had clouded my senses as we rutted against each other, hands wandering while mouths sucked love bites onto skin.

"She said she was held up with Lou," Zayn gasped, eyes widening in shock as I squeezed the outline of his hard dick through his jeans. I smirked, flipping us over so I was on top, quickly unbuttoning his jeans and drawing his fly down with my teeth.

"Fuck, Liam!" Zayn groaned, his head thrown back, tendons straining underneath his skin as I nosed at his erection, breathing hotly over it.

I smiled, mouthing wetly along his length through the small briefs he was wearing, watching as it twitched and throbbed underneath my lips. I felt fingers push through my hair encouragingly and I couldn't resist dipping a hand into his boxers and pulling out his impressive cock. I listened intenly for Zayn's breathy moans and high pitched whimpers as I licked from the base to the tip, tongue dipping into his slit to lap up the precome already leaking from the head of his cock.

I dove down, taking the first couple of inches in my mouth, wasting no time. I hummed around his hard prick earning a violent twitch and a hair tug as my tongue swirled around the head, my hand working what my mouth didn't cover. I hollowed my cheeks, slowly bobbing my head, smiling the best I could with my lips stretched when Zayn groaned in frustration. Maybe I could get him worked up enough he'd just fuck me, hard and fast.

"Oh my Jesus! Fuck, shit, sorry!" a distinctly female voice squeaked from the doorway. I hurriedly pulled off with an obscene pop, whipping my head around just in time to see a flash of Mercy's apologetic expression as she slammed the door shut. Fucking hell.

　

 

Mercy's POV:

I waited patiently outside Zayn's house for about fifteen minutes before a very red Liam was rushing out, stammering out how sorry he was before he dashed off. I didn't have the heart to laugh, he looked so embarrassed. And I mean, it's really not something that I wanted to see, Liam blowing Zayn, but at least they weren't fucking. If anything it was hilarious more than mortifying. Then again if I'd been caught in that position I would have been even more bashful than Liam.

I finally ventured back up to Zayn's room, having deemed it safe to enter now that Liam had left. He was changing the sheets when I got up there. I was very grateful for that. I really didn't want to lay on come and sweat soaked sheets. I giggled and he pursed his lips, giving me an eyeroll.

"You couldn't wait like a half hour. He's probably never gonna give me another blowie," Zayn whined, pouting beautifully. It really wasn't fair how amazing he looked no matter what, even with a fine sheen of sweat from his, erm, "activities" with Liam.

"Poor Zaynie, complaining about hot guys giving him head. But the point is that you didn't even tell me that you two...are doing whatever you're doing! Why wasn't I told?!" I demanded, hands propped on my hips. Wow, I really needed to cut back on Louis time. I would if I thought that I would be able to survive it.

"It just kind of happened y'know? I don't know, we're not like, boyfriends or anything. Not yet anyways," Zayn shrugged. I grinned happily. It was kind of sad how emotionally invested I became in my friends relationships. It may have had something to do with my nonexistent love life except for some very confusing make outs with Louis.

I let Zayn arrange me on the bed again having taken most of my clothes off that time. It didn't really bother me, the nudity. Zayn wasn't interested in me in any way and it felt more clinical than I had originally expected it to. I hunched my back, curling my arms around myself, facing away from Zayn and listening to the sound of him working away out of sight. I actually quite liked just staring out the open window, a soft breeze playing across my cheeks as I breathed evenly. If I'd been in a more comfortable position I probably would have fallen asleep.

"When did it "just happen"?" I finally asked after a long silence for lack of anything better to say. I was genuinely curious but also trying to distract myself from the memory of Louis kissing me before I left.

Zayn made a noncommittal grunt behind me before he answered, "It may have happened after you left last Friday."

"You made a move because of what I said?!" I cackled delightedly, doing my best to keep still when all I wanted to do was roll around in mirth. Another nonchalant noise made from behind me and I laughed even harder, my body shaking the bed with contained happiness.

"Fucking finally Zayn!" I grinned, pressing my lips to my knee and tightening the hold I had one my legs.

"Well, I don't know. He just, and I just...you know?" he grumbled, shifting in his seat whether out of discomfort from our conversation or not, I couldn't tell.

"Yeah, I know," I sighed, my mind wandering back to that stupid kiss.

I couldn't wrap my brain around it. I knew Louis inside and out. I could almost always tell what he was thinking or at least guess the reasoning by why he did some things, but this time...This time I was completely stumped. Like it was something that couldn't be answered no matter how hard I tried without asking Louis outright. And there was no way in hell that was happening. I'd rather be confused and have him make out with me than understand and ruin our friendship.

It seemed like time had flown by when Zayn announced that he was done, but one look out the window told me it had been hours. It was darkening outside, streaks of different colors painting the sky as if Zayn had taken a brush to it himself. I smiled and pulled my shirt over my head, foregoing my bra. I really didn't feel like confining myself again after such a long day. Instead I made a show of stretching my sore joints, groaning from the pain of bruises and staying in such a compact position for so long.

I yawned and leaned heavily on Zayn while he smiled and shook his head, pushing his glasses up his nose, proudly turning back to his piece. I fell silent, just staring for a long while, blindsided to the extreme. He had changed his original concept instead of just getting my back, he had added my face and my expression in, the look of pure concentration and inner conflict transforming my features. My mouth was about to be unhinged from the way that my jaw had dropped so violently in shock.

"I-I...what- why..." I trailed off, studying the curve of my spine and the soft but defined edge of my jaw. My cheekbones highlighted and my eyes shining with an unnameable emotion. I don't know what exact moment he'd caught but I did know that it all came from the thoughts about Louis chasing each other in my mind.

"I don't know. You just, you looked to the side and I saw something there. It was so intense, so raw, I couldn't not paint it... Are you mad?" Zayn inquired carefully. I jerked my head, clenching my teeth for a moment. I wasn't mad. I was more awed than anything.

"No, I just didn't expect this. I never-I never thought that I could look so....pensive," I shrugged, straightening up, with my hands on his bony shoulders.

"I think this is the one that I'm submitting in class, along with the other one. Is that alright with you?" my friend asked, craning his head over his shoulder to look up at me. I smiled and bent to quickly kiss his cheek.

"You're the best and yeah, that's fine," I told him, squeezing his shoulders before I left, letting my fingers glide over his back lingeringly. I was off to go ponder the things that I thought I'd kept hidden but were apparently written all over my face. I'd learn to protect myself with a mask that held no signs of what I was actually feeling. Over the year I hadn't needed it as much and it scared to me to think that I had lost that ability. It was what kept me alive for so long. How could I just relinquish it without even knowing?

 

 

Louis's POV:

I waited excitedly for Mercy to come back from Zayn's, sitting on the doorstep of her house. She'd already texted me to tell me she was on her way but I couldn't sit still. I jounced my leg while I waited for any sign of her walking down the street and broke out into a grin when I did. I eagerly raced to where she was, waving a paper around.

She blinked at me surprised, her eyebrows flying up as I came to a stop in front of her and shoved the sheet in her face. Mercy rolled her eyes, the corners of her lips upturned in a small smile that widened until it practically split her face when she saw the marks for the class I'd been failing. It was almost the end of term and report cards had gone out recently.

"That's amazing, Lou!" she breathed, pulling me into her arms. I laughed, wrapping her up firmly in mine and swinging her around.

"Come on, let's go get yours," I suggested, setting the light girl on her feet and all but dragging her over to her mailbox. Mercy gave me yet another eyeroll with an amused look on her face before she collected the mail that had been delievered while we were at school.

She flicked through it casually, trying to find her report card when she stopped. It was incredible. The change that happened right before my eyes. Mercy looked petrified, suddenly stock still, all except her shaking hands as the other letters dropped away and she stared down at one in particular. The color had drained from her face, like she was bleeding out right in front of me as she had That Night. I stooped, hurriedly grabbing the mail before reaching for her hand.

Mercy flinched away from me, snapping her head up with a wild look in her eyes. I could see her swallow thickly like there was something lodged in her throat. By the way she looked I would guess it was a scream.

"M. M, what's wrong?" I asked gently, tentatively inching my hand towards her again. She shied away, shaking her head, eyes a dark brown I'd never seen before compared to the usual bright green with amber around her pupils. It was freaking me out. She looked like an animal being hunted.

I followed her gaze to the car in her driveway, her dad's. He must have gotten home for work early and for that I was grateful. I didn't know what was happening. All I knew was that she was not holding her report card in a fearful death grip.

"I n-need, um, i-inside. _Now_ ," she stammered. I nodded, determindly closing my fingers around hers and leading her to the door, barging into the house, flicking the deadbolt after us.

I faced Mercy, cowering a few feet away from me. There were unshed tears shining in her eyes as she seemed to crumble right in front of my eyes.

"Uncle David," she whispered. I just stared. I'd never heard of him before in all the years we'd known each other.

"Uncle David," she repeated stronger. She wasn't looking at me. She was looking at that damned envelope as though I wasn't even there.

"UNCLE DAVID!" Mercy shouted. It was the most horrifying yell I'd ever heard, as if echoes of past screams were being ripped from my best friends throat.

A sound of a thump and then footsteps running as quickly as they could, down the stairs and into the living room. Mercy's Dad, Mr. Peterson stood there, panting, his eyes wide as he looked from me to his daughter who had been slowly sliding down the wall she was leaning against.

"What happened?" he asked frantically, looking as distressed as Mercy.

I was at a loss for words. I'd never seen two people more scared in my entire life. It was like watching a movie, seeing the terror on their faces as if some cataclysmic event had taken place. I looked back at him like a deer in the head lights, shaking my head and gestured to the letter clutched tightly in Mercy's hands.

Mr. Peterson slowly approached the girl who was completely falling apart, his eyes flicking between the two of us. He nodded, taking a deep breath, almost like a relieved sigh. He finally managed to pry Mercy's fingers from the envelope and scanned over it, seeing something there that I doubted I would be able to understand.

"She's okay. She's fine, Louis, she's just...Christ, I had hoped this wouldn't have to happen again," Mr. Peterson assured me, hanging his head.

He threw the letter behind him, onto the couch and cautiously approached his daughter. Finally he had her in his arms, holding her close. She was still paralyzed, looking blankly off into space.

"Come on honey, come back. You're okay, he's not here. He isn't going to get to you. You're safe. I promise," Mr. Peterson murmured softly like he was speaking to a child. Mercy remained unresponsive for a moment. Then the words began sinking in and she pulled away from her father.

"You back with me M?" Mr. Peterson inquired, keeping eye contact as if he were searching for something in her eyes.

She nodded robotically, "Hey Uncle David." The man exhaled loudly and hugged his daughter(?) in relief. That time she actually reciprocated.

But there was still something wrong. I could feel it. Mercy's eyes looked dead, dulled in a way that reminded me of That Night. Everything I'd seen, it scared the crap out of me. I really didn't know anything about the person who was supposed to be my best mate. All I knew was what she'd told me and apparently there was something big that I didn't know.

"Go lie down, okay? Rest, I'll start on dinner," Mr. Peterson prompted, watching as Mercy ascended the stairs.

"So, Uncle David?" I asked, trying to refrain from using an accusatory tone. He scratched the back of his neck, meeting my eyes sheepishly.

"Mercy never told you why she moved here, did she?" he guessed, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

I shook my head, "No she didn't tell me much. Just that her mother died so she came here."

"I'm not the person to tell you this story. I wasn't there. I was only contacted after the fact to take care of my niece. I already loved her of course, was there when she was born. Fell in love with the tiny baby the second that I saw her, but I hadn't seen her or my sister or her husband in a long time. Honestly, I never really trusted the man my sister married but he made her happy you know? What was I gonna do? But I never expected the phone call I got. That's all I can really tell you. The rest of it, well, it's up to her," David informed me. I don't think I could ever call him anything other than David again.

I nodded, and gave him a small smile before heading up to Mercy's room. I didn't know what had happened but it was going to be something unimaginable. I just knew it. I could feel it in my bones, that dread that had filled me only once before.

I quietly pushed the door open, grateful when I found Mercy curled up in bed than on her bathroom floor again. I shut the door behind me with a small click, the room darkened with only the pale blue glow of Grease playing on screen. But she wasn't watching it. She was still stuck in her own head, trapped in the past. I hoped that she would tell me the story, maybe purging it would help.

I crawled up on the bed, settling beside her before I carefully pulled her into my lap, handling my best friend like she was the most fragile china in the world. I was so afraid of hurting her, more than she already was, and as I encircled her in my arms I had to restrain myself from squishing her to me. Instead I just let Mercy lean against my chest, listening to her breathe and stroking her hair, my other hand slipping just underneath the hem of her shirt to press my fingers against the warm skin.

"Hey, love. You wanna talk about it?" I inquired quietly, brushing my lips over her cheek, gently nosing at her jawline.

She jolted a bit, whipping her head towards me. There was a spark of recognition. Mercy's eyes started to change color, she was coming back to me, but something was still missing. That little sparkle was hidden and there was still too much brown.

"Long story. Sad story. Bad story. Not much else to it," she replied distantly.

"Mercy, please," I begged, tightening my hold on her somewhat desperately. She wound one arm around my neck, burying her face in my shoulder and her free hand in my hair, clutching with an ironclad grip.

"I don't even know how it started. It just became my life..." she began.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, MAJOR trigger warning. We're finally finding out about Mercy's past.

Mercy's POV:

**Seven Years Ago**

_"I can't believe you! You worthless excuse for a woman. You pathetic whore! Don't you dare try and leave!" Dad yelled at Mom as she cowered in a corner of the kitchen, face bruised. I could see the dark purple from where I was hidden under the table, clinging to the legs of a chair. Tears tracked down my face as I tried to stifle screams. Mommy said not to move or make a sound no matter what happened._

_My Daddy screamed and shouted, his face angry and sweaty. I wanted it all to stop. I wanted my Daddy to be nice again. He was never like that before. He used to take me to the park. He used to give me piggyback rides and call me his Princess. But now all he did was drink what Mommy said was alcohol._

_I winced, squeaking quietly when Daddy hit Mommy before stumbling out of the kitchen. I watched him leave and crawled to my mom. She shook her head, weakly trying to shoo me away but I couldn't leave her. I couldn't. She was hurt. Why couldn't Daddy see that? He said he loved Mommy more than anything. Why wouldn't he stop?! Why did he hit us? Why didn't he love us? We were his girls._

_"Mommy, please, get up. Mom," I croaked, throat thick with tears and sore from screaming._

_I heard the shuffle of feet and spun around, still crouching next to my mother. Dad had a gun. He had a gun and he was pointing it at us. Guns were dangerous. He told me to never point it at anyone. Why was he pointing it at us?!_

_"Daddy no! Stop it! Mom's hurt! She's hurt! Daddy please!" I begged, reaching out for his foot._

_"Don't fucking touch me! You disgusting little bitch! Just like your mom!" he spat, kicking out and knocking me out of the way, raising the gun as he teetered on his feet._

_"No! She didn't do anything! Daddy!" I sobbed uncontrollably, trying to make myself move._

_"Shh, shh, Mercy, it's okay honey. Just don't look okay? Just go to your room, yeah?" Mommy said, her voice breaking. I shook my head, refusing to leave._

_"Shut UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Trash! Filth! Shut up!" Daddy screamed._

_There was a loud bang, a curl of smoke like in those movies and then my mommy didn't make any sound. Blood was pouring out of her head as she stared at me blankly._

_"NO! NO! Mommy!" I shrieked, tripping over my own feet before I was caught up by two bulky arms._

_"This'll teach you to listen to me! It's your fault you know. It's your fault Mommy's dead. You killed her Mercy," Daddy whispered in my ear, breath icky and gross smelling as it fanned over my face._

_I thrashed in his hold, before he finally fell over, unsteady from the alcohol. I dropped heavily onto my knees, eyes blurred as I rushed for a knife. There was a small one I kept just under the table. Mommy had given it to me. She said for protection._

_My tiny fingers closed around it just when a strong hand grabbed my ankle, dragging me backwards like in those scary movies that I wasn't allowed to watch. I screamed as loud as I could. I clawed and I struggled. Mommy had to be okay. I had to protect us. Daddy was lying._

_A meaty hand clamped over my mouth and the knife was ripped from my grasp before I felt a sharp pain by my tummy. I choked on the air that I was trying to breathe in. I screamed louder but every time I tried to move it hurt. It hurt so bad. Everything hurt. My heart, my body, my Mommy._

_"Mommy!" I cried, using my elbows to slide over the dirty floor when Daddy had finally left again. I curled in on myself, wordless whimpers and screams making their way into the air as I held her hand, laying next to my mom._

_It wasn't until later that I heard the sirens. It wasn't until I was practically dragged away from my mom that I realized what had happened. I was alone. My Daddy was going to prison. My Mommy was dead. Policemen told me my Uncle David was coming to take care of me but I would have to stay in the hospital because of the stab wound._

　

Louis's POV:

**Present**

Mercy cried into my neck, her words muffled but perfectly understandable. I didn't know whether or not that was a good thing or a horrible one. I never wanted to hear that story again. I never wanted her to have had to go through that.

I let a few tears of my own slide down my cheeks as I listened to the dark past of a girl that I loved. She was my best mate. I'd known her since I was twelve years old and I'd had no idea. I couldn't find it in myself to be even a little bit hurt or angry that she never told me. I just... I couldn't even begin to describe how much I hurt just from hearing that something like **_that_** , happened to Mercy.

I had so many reactions that I didn't know which one to feel. They all assaulted me at once but the dominant one was to never let anything remotely bad happen to her again. I had to protect her. I had to keep her from her past the best way I could. I had to bring her back to the present.

"I am so sorry, baby. I am so, so sorry. I can't even...I just...Love...Christ, I'm so glad you survived," I stuttered, massaging the back of her neck, peppering her with kisses everywhere I could reach.

I carefully guided her back, cupping her cheeks delicately and wiping away the tear stains with my thumbs. She was able to hold my gaze this time, looking at me steadily.

"I didn't move here with Uncle David until I was eleven because a psychologist didn't think I was ready. We lived in the U.S. until she thought that I was healed enough. She said it was lucky that I was so young because it was easier to help me or something. I don't know why," Mercy finished, her forehead resting on mine tiredly.

She was so fragile, so breakable in my loose but solid hold. The pained look, that emanated inner turmoil was stabbing me repeatedly in my chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe properly. It was like drowning on dry land, no water in sight, but a heavy weight crushing me. I took a deep breath, fighting the collapsing of my lungs to try and speak.

"Thank you for telling me, but I need you back now, love. I need you to come back from wherever you are," I murmured, thumbs still rubbing over soft, damp cheeks. I urged her to return. I wanted my Mercy. I didn't want her to have to deal with that. Not anymore. It was over.

I sat and watched, I studied her eyes. I searched them for the spark of life that lived there regularly. She sighed deeply and let her lids slip closed. She was so still. Mercy was never that still. She had nervous energy that had her always fidgeting. Seeing her so frozen was unnerving. But at least it was better than watching her have a meltdown.

Her eyelashes fluttered, her reddened lips parted slightly. I wanted to kiss them so badly. More than anything I'd ever wanted to do. But I couldn't. I didn't want to take advantage or send her hurtling further into her own mine again. It's just...something was screaming at me to do it.

I leaned forward cautiously until there was no space between us and let my lips just barely graze over hers. Nothing. No response. I pressed our mouths together firmly for a moment, just holding us in a sweet, lingering kiss. Mercy let out a little breathy gasp and her eyes opened again. She was with me. I gave her a tentative smile, slipping one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders.

"Hey Lou, long time no see," she joked wearily, her fingers lightly skimming over my cheekbone.

"Glad to have you back," I replied, tacking on an extra kiss. She let out a humorless giggle.

"Yeah, good to be back. I-I hate when that happens. But he-he sent me a letter. Even after all these years I still recognized his handwriting," she whispered shakily.

"It's okay, you're okay. David wouldn't ever let him get to you and neither would I," I promised planting a kiss on her forehead, hugging her to me.

"I know. I just can't help it sometimes," she sighed. I nodded and slumped back against the headboard, Mercy still safely in my lap. She went with me, her head resting in the crook of my shoulder, forehead against my neck. Her fingers played with mine as our hands hovered over my chest.

"I love you, Lou," Mercy whispered, so quietly that I might not have even noticed if her lips weren't mouthing lightly over my skin when she spoke.

"I love you too," I smiled, kissing her forehead and snuggling as close as possible.

We'd said it before but somehow this time it felt different. It carried more weight, held more meaning than it ever had. It scared me more than I cared to admit, the underlying feeling underneath the words spouted so frequently. But it wasn't something I was going to worry about right then. I would figure out what that nagging in the back of my head and the tug of my heart at what the words meant later. For now I was going to focus on Mercy.

Mercy's POV:

When I'd told Louis I loved him, I hadn't intended to be heard. I just needed to tell him. I needed to say it. After all he was...everything. He was everything to me. What I hadn't expected was his response. I could tell that when he replied, it didn't hold the same depth, but it was nice to hear nonetheless. It was nice to pretend for a little while that my life was normal and not so fucked up.

We just lay there for a while, not moving but not really paying attention to Grease either. I was worried about how Louis would react after it was all said and done. I never wanted to tell him about my past. It's not exactly something I advertised since I had stopped seeing a therapist. It always seemed like a part of myself and my life that had to be kept hidden but telling Louis made me feel a million times better.

Cuddling there in the semi darkness I settled into the boy who held me close letting my tired eyes slowly droop shut. I fell into a state of unconsciousness quickly, dropping off into a dreamless sleep.

******

"She okay?" voices were breaking through the haze of nothingness that I had descended gratefully into.

I felt a warm body cradling mine, strong arms keeping me close to a hard chest. The sound of rustling sheets reached my ears through the pause in the conversation before I felt knees fitting into the backs of mine. It could only be Louis in bed with me.

"Yeah, shaken up, but she told me," my bed companion whispered behind me, warm breath ghosting over the back of my neck causing goosebumps to decorate my skin in response.

"You're lucky. Didn't even tell me the full story. Don't think she's told anyone. I'm glad she has you. You're good for her," I heard Uncle David tell him. I fought the urge to shiver. He was right after all. I was lucky to have Louis. He was good for me. He was the only one who brought me back from the caverns of my own mind. It would've taken a lot longer for anyone else. That thought did make a shudder tremble through my body.

Louis noticed and cut off the short conversation, tightening his grip on me, letting a warm thumb slip underneath my shirt and rub circles over a small expanse of tender skin just above my waistband. My breath hitched. He was really close to my scar but it also felt really good, the small touch sending tingles radiating from it. It was as if the pad of his thumb contained an incredibly small taser, shocking my body with the pleasure.

"Hey, darling," Louis murmured, pressing a kiss to the hollow just below my ear, breath once again tickling my skin. I shifted in warning before I turned within the cirlce of his arms.

"Hi," I croaked, throat a bit sore from all the crying the night before.

Louis smiled, lips brushing over my forehead almost reverently as he thumbed at my back now that I'd rolled over. My hand slid up his chest, fingers curling around his throat, tapping lightly.

"Still with me?" he inquired, eyes oozing concern and burning a brilliant, mind boggling blue. I nodded timidly, letting my fingers stroke over the smooth skin they covered.

"Thank you for last night and for kicking that soccer ball at my head," I giggled breathily, my eyes fixed on my hand as I remembered how we met.

"Yeah well, thanks telling me what happened and getting in the way of my shot," he chuckled, reaching up to lift my chin just a bit until I reluctantly met his intense gaze.

"Thank you for surviving," Louis added, staring at me intently. And I understood. He didn't mean just seven years ago, he meant every day after that. He meant the suicide attempt two years before. He meant all those times he caught me staring blankly off into the distance or waking up next to me when I was screaming.

It felt like everything was coming to a tumultuous head. Like it was the moment I'd been waiting for as we lay there in bed together, legs tangled, bodies pressed together, barely any room separating us.

As we watched each other my hand dug into Louis's neck and his hand on my lower back pushed against me more firmly in response. I rose up just a bit, closing the small distance still between us and for the first time initiated the kiss that followed.

My lips dropped down onto his with careful precision, slotting our mouths together. It was the gentle but passionate meeting of lips, the crushing of our bodies together and the gentle glide of Louis's tongue over the seam of my mouth. It was the hand that traveled up into his hair, tangling there and pulling him ever closer.

It was everything, like Louis himself. The way we fit perfectly together and the way he licked into my mouth, insistently parting my lips with his tongue. The way that I bit his lower lip, gently tugging and making him groan, his free hand skimming over my skin to my knee, pulling until it hooked over his waist.

I gasped for breath when we broke away just for a second, sucking air into my lungs, until Louis's mouth was eagerly covering mine again. We kissed fervently, sucking and biting each others lips until they were red and swollen. Tongues curled and probed until it was all we could do to muffle moans, swallowing the ones we gave each other greedily.

I didn't know what it all meant but the feeling of him half on top of me was one that I wouldn't trade for anything. I just took what he gave me without a second thought, chasing his taste each time we had to draw away for a moment to breathe. I knew it didn't mean the same to Louis as it did to me but, right then it was what I needed. I craved to have him in any capacity and I was satisfying that urge.

But it couldn't last forever. It was heartbreaking when the ferocity of our kissing faded into a soft lightness meant to diffuse the scorching desire. I sighed into Louis's mouth, reluctantly resting my head back on my pillow.

When he opened his eyes they were a searing blue even with the wide blackness of his pupils. I smiled nervously. He returned the sentiment with a lazy grin, nose nuzzling mine before he fell sideways, until he was resting in his original position. The absence of part of his weight left me with a horrible floating feeling but I cuddled back up to him nonetheless as we got a handle on our breathing.


	10. Chapter 10

Mercy's POV:

It's not like the rest of the week was awkward per se but there was something tangible hanging in the air, something that pulsed with palpability in a very obvious way. Everyone noticed it. We all twitched with the werid feeling that seemed to emanate from me and Louis but everyone also promptly ignored it.

I was grateful to say the least. I didn't understand what was happening. What I did know was that Lou and I had suddenly become even closer than before. It felt wrong when I wasn't with him, breathing him in or touching him in some way. I'd always had that feeling but it was somehow magnified after the kiss the morning after The Letter came.

I wasn't complaining. Each touch was electrifiying like normal but amplified by the tension rolling off all of us. The looks we exchanged were loaded and it took everything I had for me not to jump him every single time our eyes met. I really just couldn't breathe without him, more so than before and I didn't know how to fix it, that was certain.

******

"You wanna ride to the match?" Zayn asked, actually managing to look at me instead of making heart eyes at Liam. I wasn't sure exactly what was going on with those two except that they were definitely having some fun behind closed doors. As long as they were happy.

"Not sure, I think I'm staying to watch Lou practice," I replied, glancing over at my best friend who was chatting animatedly with Niall, whose blonde hair was receding slowly back to his original brown. Harry was beside them with an intense, far off look as though he was concentrating really hard on the conversation between the two boys in front of him. He looked fucking adorable, like a confused puppy.

"Of course you are," Zayn snorted with a roll of his whiskey colored eyes, one corner of his mouth pulling up into a smirk.

"Shut up," I commanded lightly, no real forced behind it.

"You two need to shag and get it over with, honestly. It's frustrating watching you two, waiting for it all to bubble over," he scoffed haughtily. His eyes twinkled with the laughter he was trying to contain as I cocked an eyebrow.

"Whatever. I said I'm not sure. I might have to watch the girls if Jay decides to disappear with the mysterious man she's dating," I shrugged. The championship game was that night but if she really wanted to Jay could sneak off to see her unknown boyfriend for a bit before we all went to watch Louis kick ass.

"Mmhm, sure," Zayn nodded mockingly. It was my turn to roll my eyes and I threw a french fry at him; stolen from Louis's untouched lunch.

"Did you tell her yet?" Liam interrupted, choosing the perfect time to insert himself in our conversation. I smiled and raised my eyebrows curiously, waiting for the love birds to come out with it. No pun intended. I filed the phrase away for later use even though it was unbearably lame.

"Zayn's paintings of you were chosen as finalists to be shown in a local art gallery!" Liam gushed excitedly. Pride swelled in my chest and I grinned, equally thrilled.

"That's so great, Zayn!" I grinned, throwing my arms around his neck in an awkward hug due to the table between us.

"That's brilliant, mate," Louis's voice cut in. Apparently he had heard our exchange and I plopped back in my seat to see him smiling encouragingly.

"Yeah, thanks. I'm really excited about it," Zayn blushed, always modest. I giggled at his reaction while Louis asked if he could get a preview of the art. The raven haired boy nodded and took out his phone, pulling up the pictures he'd taken of his paintings and handing the cell over to Louis.

There was an impassive but focused expression on Lou's face as he studied each one thouroughly before silently handing the device back to Zayn. I shot my best friend a questioning look when Liam went back to babbling to his boyfriend? about how great of an artist he was.

"You looked gorgeous," Louis answered simply, his hand coming up to briefly cup my cheek, thumb running lightly over the skin. The flush to my cheeks rivaled Zayn's as I burned with the pleasure of the compliment.

"Those paintings almost do you justice," he tacked on, only making the heat in my cheeks worse before his arm was draped over my shoulder and I leaned into him. I felt a small kiss be planted on the top of my head and I reveled in Louis's warmth, the cold December around us not even staved off by being in the cafeteria.

I sighed contentedly, surrounded by my friends and wrapped up with the boy that I was madly in love with. It didn't matter that we weren't together in that moment because I had his arm around me and I could just let the world fall away for a little while until the bell rang.

"You're coming tonight, yeah?" Louis asked quietly. I nodded slowly so I wouldn't hit my head too hard on his chin. I could feel him grinning.

"Good, I wanna tell you something after we win," Louis whispered conspiratorily. What could he have to tell me? And why did it have to wait until the end of the match? Then I realized it was Louis we were talking about. He'd probably just end up telling me that he wanted to marry a soccer ball.

"What if you don't win?" I giggled, instead of voicing my musings. I felt his fingers pinch me and I flinched.

"Such little faith. I can't believe you still doubt me, young one," Louis chastised teasingly. I shrugged, he still hadn't answered my question.

"If we lose, I still have something to tell you, but it would be much better if we won," he finally told me.

"You're not gonna just make me anticipate this big revelation only to tell me that you like carrots or something right Lou? Because I already know that," I huffed jokingly, supressing the giggles threatening to escape.

"I'm starting to really question how you see me if you think I would do something that pathetic! My pranks are much more legendary than something so trivial," Louis announced confidently, pecking me on the cheek as the bell had sounded and we needed to head to class.

"If you say so," I hummed, letting him pull me close again as we left the cafeteria. Yeah, whatever was going on with us, it was worth it for him to keep a warm hand splayed over my lower back to guide me through the halls.

******

The bright stadium lights shone down, illuminating the field and the players as they raced up and down, following the ball. I was standing this time, the metal bench covered with frost. I wasn't the only one. It seemed that those who hadn't been smart enough to bring something to sit on were all huddled together as we raptly fixed our attention to the teams we were supporting.

Lottie was to my right hugging me close through the many layers of clothes we'd bundled ourselves up in. I wasn't all that focused on the game as I was on Louis, just as I usually was. I hadn't seen him since after school, when I had gone to baby sit the younger girls like I'd predicted, and I couldn't take my eyes off him.

Still, it might have had something to do with his natural grace and the light sheen of sweat I could see from where I was, almost right on the sidelines as he dashed after the ball passed in front of him. It was mesmerizing, watching the sheer power and force he pumped his legs with as he drove forward. Lottie and I clasped each others hands tighter as we held our breaths, waiting to see if the ball arcing through the air would make it past the goalkeeper.

Our side erupted in cheers and Louis punched his fist into the air in triumph, running back over to his teammates. I screamed and whistled the best I could, clutching Lottie tighter as I heard Niall cursing happily behind me and Haz politely balancing out our friend's crude comments.

Curlyish brown hair bobbed a few rows in front of me in the form of Eleanor and I really wished she wasn't so close. She was in the same spot she had occupied at the last game and for some reason it made something rather unpleasant twist in my stomach. She was too smiley. It wasn't in a genuine way but more of a 'I'm gonna get what I want' way. She'd worn it enough for me to recognize.

The match wore on, the cold air became more frigid and you could tell that everyone was getting tired. The adrenaline afforded by excitement had diminished as the battle on the field continued until the bitter end. There were only a few seconds left on the clock and we were tied. Of fucking course we were.

I shivered as my friends all cuddled closer, eyes darting around to follow the possession of the ball until Louis passed it off to a teammate only to have it shot right back to him. Time seemed to slow until there was an inaudible swishing of the net as the ball connected and the roar from the crowd became deafening. I screamed and shouted, jumping where I stood and taking the celebratory hugs that were thrown my way.

Louis was whooping and hollering with his team, searching the stands before our eyes locked and he jerked his head towards the locker room, blowing a kiss before he was enveloped by other bodies. I got the message loud and clear, hoping that whatever news he had to tell me was worth the wait and the anxiety it caused as I carefully picked my way down to the cement, rushing off to meet him.

******

"Congratulations on the winning goal," a soft voice purred. I froze, listening intently. The way that I snuck a peek around the corner reminded me of the time I caught Max bullying Lottie. But the sight before me almost hurt worse.

Louis was staring down at Eleanor, his face shadowed from the little to no lighting the cool hallway provided. She was leaning close to him, so close they were almost pressed together. I couldn't hear Louis's response. I couldn't even hear the rest of their conversation. All I saw was Eleanor lunge forward and kiss Louis. Louis, my Louis, the one who'd been kissing me a lot more recently than her. Louis who was supposed to be telling me something at that very moment.

I backed away, careful not to let my shoes scuff against the lineoleum before I ran back out into the cold. I don't even know how long I ran for, not long, I would assume because it was harder for me to breathe in the winter with my asthma and all, but still. I lost all sense of distance and time. I didn't know what I would do if they got back together.

After that kiss the other day, and the way that Louis had been showering me with affection all week, it felt different. It felt more significant than it ever had before. I'd told him my darkest, most hidden secrets, opened myself up in a way that I never had before. I didn't expected anything in return. I didn't expect him to be in love with me. I didn't expect him to never be with another person, it's just... I don't know, it was this feeling, this feeling that had allowed me to hope for the first time in a long time.

It wasn't until I was in my room, numbly shedding clothes and heading for my dresser to find something to sleep in that I realized I'd walked all the way home and I didn't know what Louis wanted to tell me. Then again, maybe he was going to tell me that he was back together with Eleanor. But that didn't make much sense, if they'd gotten back together then he would have told me already. Right?

I paced my room, restless and confused and hurt. I shivered, because I was an idiot who didn't know how to put on clothes when it was almost below freezing outside, before sighing and forcing myself to dress. I turned on my TV, playing Grease yet again because it was still in the DVD player. It's not like I was going to really pay attention anyways, I just wanted some background noise or something to mindlessly stare at if I could manage to shut my brain off for a bit. And if it was Louis's favorite movie...well then that was just a coincidence.

I just sat there staring blankly at the screen, not taking in anything as the image of Eleanor kissing Louis played over and over in my head. Every repetition had me spacing out more and more, a deep well of hopelessness overflowing inside me until I was too numb to cry. I was too sad, too pathetic, too busy feeling absolutely stupid to let the tears fall. It's as if I were set on autopilot with no way to turn it off. I was back to floating and watching the world, my life, and each second fly by without actually participating in it. All because of Eleanor fucking Calder and Louis fucking Tomlinson. Fuck.

"Mercy?" a soft, melodious voice asked, breaking through the daze of confusion that had settled upon me.

My head snapped to my door, Louis framed by the soft light coming from my lamp. His hair was still damp from the shower he'd taken, a slight glow to his skin like every single damn day of his life. The jeans he wore were loose, hanging low on his hips, briefs covered by his striped shirt. Classic after game attire.

"Why didn't you wait for me?" he inquired, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him quietly. I'm not sure why, Louis usually almost slammed it closed on a daily basis unless Uncle David was home, which he wasn't. Apparently he was out on a date or something. I wasn't really sure.

I shrugged, trying to avoid meeting those fathomless blue eyes that seemed so intent on finding mine as Louis crawled up on my bed. It wasn't like I could just announce 'Oh, hey, I saw you and Eleanor together and it fucking tore me apart because I've been in love with you forever.' Yeah that would go swimmingly.

"M," Lou prompted insistently, blocking my view of the movie I was pretending to watch.

I wasn't ignoring him. I just didn't know what to say. There were no words in my vocabulary that could convey how heartbroken I felt. And I had no excuse for leaving him. Not one that he would understand unless I told him the truth. So I did the only thing I could and stayed silent, waiting for whatever would come next.

"I wanted to tell you something remember? I had this big plan to win the match for you so I could tell you," Louis murmured nervously, picking at a stray string attached to his shirt.

"I don't understand why you had to win the game just so you could tell me that you and Eleanor are back together. I mean, you never really made it that big of a deal before..." I trailed off, staring down at my blanket covered lap.

I started when Louis barked out a laugh, like that was the funniest thing he'd ever heard, my eyes flying upwards.

"You're not serious?" he guffawed. I stared, never breaking the sizzling gaze as Louis's outburst died down.

"Fuck. We're not together Mercy. She wanted to be, but I didn't. Figures, I finally work up the courage to tell you that I love you, and she goes and fucking ruins it. Of course she does. She somehow always did...." he's rambling. I'm not even sure he realizes it.

But I stopped listening after he said he loved me. My mind was a swirl of puzzling thoughts all chasing each other in a dizzying succession that had me tuning Louis out, heart thundering loudly in my chest.

"I know you love me, Lou, we've said it a million times," I finally replied, cutting into his continuous babble. His head snapped up and he shot me a look of utter disbelief.

"C'mon M, you're not that daft. You skipped a grade for Chrissakes!" Louis admonished, shaking his head in disappointment.

I tried to stamp down the way my heart soared, the way that it lodged in my throat at his words. I mean, I just... How could he expect me to just... To think that he _loved_ me? That he was _in_ love with me? Thousands of times we'd said those three little words to each other. Millions even. And almost every time it meant more to me than it did to him. I had excepted that it would always be that way. But now he was quite possibly making all my dreams come true and he thought that I would actually catch onto the fact that he actually meant it the way that I did?!

"You had to make this more difficult," he sighed in mock annoyance, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he reached for my hand, fingers lacing through my own.

"Lou," I breathed, hazel eyes meeting blue in a clash of buzzing excitement and anticipation as well as panic and worry. I was so close. So close to finally being with him and I didn't know if I would be able to bear it if he didn't mean it.

"Listen to me for a second, love. Just- I had this semi speech prepared like a proper cliche, yeah? It seemed like, right romantic that I would win the match and then tell you how I'm tits over arse in love with you, and I have been for longer than I realized.

"I mean, we met on a footy field when I kicked the ball at your head, so, it just... it seemed like the perfect cheesy moment to tell you how gone I am for your laugh, and that small dimple that only pops out if you smile a certain way, and the way that your eyes turn colors and you can't stand when people say 'good' when they're meant to say 'well'. And how you turn me into a stuttering twat when I'm trying to tell you that I love you and I really hope that you feel the same way because I feel like an absolute wanker," Louis blurted, thumb softly rubbing circles into the back of my hand, eyes silently pleading with me.

It took everything in me not to laugh in relief as I pulled my hand from his grasp and his face fell momentarily before I was launching myself into his arms, fumbling to get my legs around his waist. I felt a breathy gasp tickle across my neck before Louis's stiffened body melted into mine, bodies fusing together.

"I love you so much, Lou. Took you fucking long enough," I whispered, tightening my hold on him, lips pressed to the heated skin of his shoulder.

"Shit, wish you would have told me sooner. We wasted a lot of time," He chuckled, peppering light kisses along my the column of my throat, pulling back just enough to nip at my jaw before his mouth trailed up to mine, kissing the corner teasingly.

"Yeah, we did," I agreed breathlessly, reveling in the fact that I could just kiss him if I wanted to. And fuck, did I want to.

I tentatively leaned forward, letting my lips graze over his clean shaven jaw, brushing them over his chin before I finally gave into temptation and pressed them to his perfect, pink mouth. I felt fingers splay over my back, tugging me impossibly closer as our lips molded to the others, letting them slot together before it all became too much and Louis's tongue slipped out. He licked over the seam of my mouth, pushing his way through my lips to capture any taste he could.

Both of us moaned when our tongues met in a careful carress before they curled in a feverish dance. He bit my bottom lip, sucking and pulling before letting it free, leaving me to gasp as his hot mouth connected with my neck, latching on. Louis's sharp little canines dragged their way over my throat, his tongue flicking out to soothe the burn left behind along with the love bites he was no doubt creating.

I clutched his shirt into my fists, squirming in his lap as his lips kept skimming over my skin, biting down on a collarbone. I couldn't even think straight; everything I felt was so electric, searing pleasure humming through my veins, high off feeling Louis's love and his hands slipping under my thin top, skilled fingers flexing over my back and biting into my hip.

There wasn't any hesitancy that there was before, just passion and love and somehow knowing what the other wanted. It was as if we truly connected, becoming one person as we slowly began to take things further, Louis's shirt being torn off first and mine quickly following.

It was going to be a night to remember. A night of heartbreak and cliches and love. And I was going to soak up every second of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter was awkward and terrible near the end. But then again, how is telling your best friend that you're in love with them, not awkward, just a little bit? I don't know. Bottom line, sorry if it sucks.


	11. Chapter 11

Mercy's POV:

Being with Louis was like falling into an endless space with no fear of hitting the ground. It's like flying, swooping through the sky at a leisurely but heart pounding rate where you know there will be someone to catch you. Someone who never plans on letting you go.

Every time he touched me felt as though I was being zapped with an intensity that heightened everything, had the feeling of his hands roaming over my half naked body sending my senses into a tailspin. I couldn't focus on any reservations, I wasn't even really thinking. There was just LouisLouisLouis. Everywhere, engulfing me in his intoxicating presence, the smell of his cologne clinging to his skin.

The very skin that I was letting my hands explore, gliding down his defined chest and over his tanned abs, feeling them clench and contract. He lay out under me as I straddled his thighs, just letting me traces the contours of his body, his own fingers digging into my hips as his bucked up. I moaned at the feeling of him, hard and bulging in his jeans, before a leg was hooked over mine and I found myself literally falling onto my back, Louis hovering over me with a hungry look in his eyes as they roved over my exposed breasts.

He attacked my mouth with his in an insatiable fervor as our bodies collided, skin against skin, hips rolling into each other. Gasps were swallowed and moans swapped as his tongue darted through my parted lips, invading the depths of my mouth. He licked over my teeth, lightly sliding his tongue over mine in a teasing fashion that had me whining before his hot hand slipped sneakily from my waist up to my breast. The sound making it's way out of my mouth was strangled when his thumb brushed over my nipple and Louis smirked against my lips, trailing his own down my throat to my heaving chest.

My nipple was enveloped in velvety hotness and I keened high in my throat when he sucked, gently biting as I writhed underneath him, hips grinding up faster into his. Light vibrations were emanated from the groan brought on as I met the dragging rhythm Louis had set. I whimpered, scrabbling with the button on his jeans and the stubborn zipper that refused to move.

"Lou," I breathed heavily, his mouth leaving warm kisses over my ribs and my stomach becoming feather light when they were traced over my scar. I squirmed under the teasing touch, the muslces of my stomach flexing.

He chuckled wetly against my skin, nosing his way along the waistband of my shorts before his fingers hooked into it, yanking down my underwear as well. I inhaled sharply as he pressed a small kiss to my hip, my fingers tangling in his hair and tugging a bit until he rose up again. Our mouths crashed together once more, searingly passionate as they melted into the others.

"Too many clothes," I panted, biting into Louis's lower lip, just this side of painful and eliciting a growl before Louis was pulling away. He practically tore out of his jeans, his thumbs tentatively drawing down his too tight briefs revealing his already leaking cock, impossibly hard and slapping up against his stomach.

The head was red, almost angrily so from being ignored, peaking out from his foreskin. I licked my lips and a shiver of slight fear ran up my spine as I wondered how he would ever fit in me. I didn't know how large Louis was and really couldn't tell without measuring but he looked at the **_very least_** seven inches with an exceptional girth. It had me cringing and eager all at once.

He just knelt there for a moment, between my legs, our discarded clothes beside us, forgotten as we stared, drinking the sight of each other in. I felt so very naked but safe under his soft gaze. I reached out for him and he crawled forward, pressing his lips to mine sweetly, one hand cupping my cheek and the other resting on my rib cage.

"So beautiful, Mercy," Louis murmured into my mouth, licking over my swollen lips. I giggled, shaking my head and blushing.

"You are, love. So fucking perfect," he insisted, chuckling as he mouthed over the curve of my neck, whispering praises. I whined impatiently, boldly wrapping my fingers around his throbbing length, making him jolt in surprise that gave way to a moan, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

"Fuck. Are you sure?" He asked, eyes snapping open to reveal his blown pupils, his hand softly stroking over my skin leaving a trail of fire in it's wake. I nodded earnestly before Louis surged forward to capture my lips with his, settling even more on top of me, his cock trapped between our stomachs.

We devoured each other, licking and sucking and biting as Louis fumbled beside us, finally pulling away to savagely free his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans, flipping it open to extract a foil packet. I giggled nervously, earning a beaming smile in return.

Louis readjusted so he was on his knees again, preparing to rip open what was obviously a condom before I sat up, hands covering his. He shot me a questioning look and it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen, even in this situation. We were completely naked, hair touseled and lips red from the furious kisses, his cock still achingly hard against his stomach. The gravity of the moment, of what we were about to do, hit me like a freight train and I'd never been more sure of anything in my life.

"Do we have to use this?" I inquired timidly, plucking the condom from his loose grip.

"I know for a fact you didn't fail sex ed, so why're you asking?" Lou chuckled, lightly pecking my nose.

"Well, you're clean right? And I've never...and I'm on the pill...." I trailed off, cheeks most likely bright red and eyes fixed on the bedspread, rumpled and kicked to the side in our haste. I heard the sharp intake of breath before I felt his fingers lifting my chin so I could meet his lust filled eyes.

"As long as you're sure," he agreed, the usually ultra blue gems, black as they bore into my soul powerfully.

"Wanna feel you," I breathed, tossing the foil aside and catching his lips with mine in a slow, languid kiss that screamed how much I loved the boy in front of me. The one who was gripping me tighter and slowly pumping his cock before lowering me back onto the bed.

He fell onto one forearm while his other hand guided himself to my entrance, the blunt head of his cock sliding over my folds before pressing in. I tensed, nails digging into Louis's back as he pushed forward slowly.

"Relax, love. You have to relax for me," Louis cooed, nose nuzzling into mine. I nodded, holding onto him tighter, arching as he inched inside, splitting me open on his cock when he was fully seated.

I was clenched around him, feeling the pain of the stretch burn through my body as Louis groaned, slipping one hand under me to lift my hips a bit off the bed. I gasped at the feeling, the way that he began to gently rock his hips, barely moving at all. Moans were ripped from my throat as Louis began to pull out only to sink back in, the friction of his bare cock on my shuddering walls making my eyes almost roll back into my head, pain quickly turning into pleasure.

"Christ, can't believe how tight you are. You're doing so great, love-fuck," Louis gasped when I wrapped my legs around his waist, drawing him in deeper and throwing my head back into the pillow. I choked out a moan, tangling my fingers in Louis's hair as he buried his face into my neck, latching on as he thrust into me. His hot breath cascaded over my sweaty skin, lips peppering kisses over my throat.

I rolled my hips up to meet his, silently encouraging him to go faster, harder, to share our love in the most intimate way possible. Without a word, without so much as a glance Louis readjusted the angle as he slammed into me hard, shocking me into a breathy yelp.

"Right there, baby?" he laughed breathlessly and teasingly, nipping at my lower lip and smirking as he positively pounded into my body, hitting at that same angle that had me practically screaming, my nails scraping over his back as my lips searched for his.

Louis leaned down, smashing our mouths together in a filthy kiss, all teeth and tongues and love until were just panting wetly into each others mouths, so consumed with the intense pleasure. I could feel it all radiating through me in immense shockwaves that built up and built up, sending me careening to a place I'd never been before.

Louis's hips snapped into mine relentlessly, his cock being ground in circles as he did, before he plunged into me faster. My entire body was tensing, my back arching and my vision starting to white out as he rolled his pelvic bone into mine.

"So close!" I squeaked out, voice high and thick.

"Shit, me t-too. Come for me, baby, wanna feel it," Louis whimpered, his thrusts becoming erratic and frantic as he sent me crashing down, vision whiting out and back arching obscenely as I let out an almost inhuman scream.

"Fuck!" Louis cursed, my walls contracting around his pulsing cock, coaxing his orgasm out of him as he buried himself deep inside, come spilling hotly.

We both collapsed onto the bed, Louis falling next to me as we tried to suck in the sweat saturated and sex soaked air. I laughed tiredly, rolling onto my side and into Louis arms as they closed around me.

"I love you," he grinned happily, claiming my mouth in a heart melting kiss as our bodies tangled together.

"I love you too," I sighed, pressing my lips to his more firmly, burrowing into his overheated and pliant body.

 

 

Louis's POV:

Everything was on fire. It was this deep, slow burn that exploded the second I bottomed out. The tight, wet heat wrapped so deciously around my cock had my head spinning as I tried so hard not to come immediately. Mercy was just so stunning, skin flushed and eyes glazed over, clinging to me tightly as if she would never let go. It was the single most incredible experience of my life, making love to her. I don't think anything other than being able to call her my own would ever top it.

She was just this gorgeous, porcelin angel, spread out below me, eagerly learning from every cue my body gave hers. I would never be able to get the image of her coming out of my head, the way that her cute little nose scrunched just a bit and her plump red lips fell open in a startled scream. God, it was heavenly, being inside Mercy, being with Mercy, just fucking _looking_ at Mercy.

Knowing that I could have had her all this time drove me insane but every time I remembered I _did_ have her, it was all worth it. I knew her past now. I knew what shaped her into the brilliant person she was and I cherished each moment she gave me. I would never be able to forget how lucky I was she decided to love me.

 

 

Mercy's POV:

"Hey, love?" Louis asked, body curled inwards, tangling with mine as we lay peacefully in bed, sleep not too far off.

"Hmm?" I hummed, eyes closed as I cuddled into him further, his wet hair tickling over my forehead.

We'd taken a shower together and it was hands down the best shower of my life. The soft kisses and the gentle touches sending thrills up my spine as Louis held me close. Even if my body was sore and I knew I'd definitely feel it in the morning, it was more than worth it.

A warm hand cupped my cheek, Lou's thumb skimming over it until my eyes reluctantly fluttered open. Hazel met devastatingly vibrant blue as he gazed at me fondly, snuggling closer and capturing my mouth with his, teasing my lips open with his tongue until he was finally allowed entrance.

"Mmm, will you be Sandy to my Danny?" he chuckled quietly, minty breath fanning over my face, pulling back enough just to grin cheekily.

"You and that movie," I snorted, playfully rolling my eyes and stretching to reach his lips with my own.

"Mercy! Do not mock Grease or I may just have to take my proposal back! I mean after we got friendly down in the sand and everything! Christ, just destroy our perfect summer night why don't you! Oh the horror!" he sighed dramatically, falling onto his back with the back of his hand resting against his forehead as if he were a damsel in distress.

"Hey Lou?" I asked, giggling as I tugged at his arm.

"No! Just leave me alone to suffer, stranded at the drive in! All alone to sit and wonder why?!" he cried emphatically. We burst into laughter, rolling towards each other in hysterics.

"But if I leave you alone then I can't tell you that you're the one that I want!" I argued, face hot and inches from Louis's. Our eyes caught seriously as we grinned at each other happily.

"You're the one that I want too," he smiled, blue eyes sparkling brightly, planting a smacking kiss on my lips, flinging his arm around my waist and a leg over my hip to koala hug me to him. I nuzzled into his neck, gently scraping my teeth over his collarbone, sucking for a moment to leave my mark on him. Louis hissed appreciatively and curved towards me, pressing a kiss to my temple before we finally just drifted off into a peaceful sleep in each other's arms.

I woke up screaming again that night. Even after the perfection of what Louis and I had shared I was not allowed peace. I was haunted, and being haunted came with a cost. But that time… that time was different because Louis was there, beside me, pressing a warm hand to my cheek.

His fingers wove themselves into my hair as his palm grazed my cheekbone. I squeezed my eyes shut, afraid of what I’d see next. Louis turned my head towards him, cradling my face in both of his hands, touching his forehead to mine.

"Open your eyes," he murmured gently, his breath spreading softly over my face. I shook my head even as he held it. "Mercy, open your eyes," he whispered more firmly, thumbs gliding over my overheated skin.

Slowly they opened. Slowly his gorgeous face came into focus, his eyes shining in the darkness, leading me back to him, pulling me out of the haze of my past. I curled my fingers around his, gripping them tightly.

Louis smiled and kissed my lips, the feel of his mouth lingering on mine even after he had pulled away. He wrapped me securely in his arms, stroking my hair and kissing my forehead. "You’re safe Mercy. I’m here." He whispered soothingly in my ear, coaxing me back to sleep.

I sank into his arms gratefully, burying my face in his chest and twisting my fist in his shirt, breathing in his calming scent. I listened to his steady hearbeat as his hand trailed under the shirt he'd been wearing when he first showed up, the one that was too big on me but smelled like him. I tugged the sleeves over my hands, shivering as goose bumps spread over my skin from the light brush of his fingers along my spine as my breathing began to even out.

******

When I woke up the next morning it was to a dull gray light filtering in through the window, the TV black after having been turned off, and to sleeping Louis curled around my back. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes, fighting back a yawn as I disentangled myself and went to brush my teeth before crawling back into bed beside my boyfriend.

Hehe, boyfriend. We hadn't said that's what we were specifically, but I hoped that's what it meant when Lou asked me to be his 'Sandy'. Either way I don't think I'd ever be able to get over calling Louis, the beautiful, heartbreaking creature he was, my boyfriend. He felt like so much more than that. Words didn't exist to describe how stunning he was to me. How incredible and perfect. I was stuck with the generic, overused words that I always had been to describe the quintessence of brilliance that was Louis Tomlinson.

But he was all mine. All sleep soft and cuddly, cheekbones cut sharply from the shadows thrown over his face. I wiggled back under his arm, nuzzling my head into his neck and breathing him in, content to just wait until he decided to join the world of consciousness. I felt his arms tighten around me and he sighed in his sleep, snuggling closer to the warmth of my body.

Yeah, this was all I'd ever need, that was for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh heh, they finally did it! It only took thousands of words and eleven chapters for sexy times. :) Yes, I'm aware of my dorkiness.
> 
> But it's not over quite yet! Louis and Mercy get to be in a relationship and that includes more naughty times, but there is also a shocking ending, I hope no one sees coming :). No one dies, I promise.


	12. Chapter 12

Mercy's POV:

As much as I loved Lou, I was gettting restless watching him sleep. I sighed and pressed a kiss to his slack mouth, wrinkling my nose a bit in slight amusement at his morning breath before I rolled back out of bed and headed for my desk, smiling wickedly to myself. It wasn't the most genius prank in the world but it would keep me entertained until he woke up.

I gathered up my assortment of sharpies and stealthily nudged Louis onto his back before sitting on his lap, gently taking his right hand in both of mine and laying his arm over his stomach. Carefully I chose the colors I wanted, uncapped a felt tipped pen and slowly started to color in the tattoos littering his arm; mainly the bird and the heart above the stag.

I giggled happily, humming to myself and wiggling a bit on top of him, taking in the defined lines of his naked chest. Someone obviously had problems keeping their clothes on while they slept. Though I supposed Louis was nothing compared to Haz, who would strip down in a park if he could. But I definitely wasn't complaining as my hand stilled momentarily to drink in the caramel skin lighly dusted with hair between his nipples.

I had the sudden urge to swirl my tongue over the lettering of his chest piece and maybe even trace the happy trail disappearing underneath the briefs Louis wore. The soft pinkness of his nipples started to become even more appealing and I knew they were sensitive, always had been. I wished that I could have made the night before better for him. I mean I didn't do much, but I'd been so caught up in the foreign sensations, so spaced out I couldn't even really think.

But, maybe I'd get better in time. I mean, I couldn't get any worse right? And Louis seemed to enjoy it. I might even be able to persuade him to teach me some things. I wanted to know what made him moan and whimper and crumble. I already had some spots memorized, but there was always more to discover and I vowed to.

I went back to shading in the bird tattoo delicately, muttering nonsense words to go along with the tune I'd made up. I finished and recapped the marker I was using, the strong smell of sharpie assaulting my nose. I wrinkled it just as there was a movement below me, the twitching of Louis's leg and I grinned, patiently waiting for him to wake up.

His eyelids fluttered before they were blearily opened and a lazy smile spread across his face. I lightly bit my bottom lip, tossing aside the marker as Louis's hands gripped my hips firmly as his thumbs rubbed the exposed strip of skin.

"You know, it's quite rude to draw on people while they're sleeping," Louis rasped out, voice rough from sleep and heartbreakingly sexy. I grinned down at him before falling foward until our chests were pressed together.

"I got bored," I shrugged easily as he rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around me.

"Could've been a little more creative with the wake up, love," he insisted teasingly, waggling his eyebrows. I cocked one of my own and leaned forward, pressing my lips to the hollow of his throat, lightly sucking.

I heard Louis's breath hitch above me as I planted wet, open mouthed kisses along his collarbones, letting my teeth scraped over sensitive skin every once in a while. I felt his warm hands ruck up his shirt that I was still wearing and dig into my back as I slowly started circling my hips, grinding down as my lips trailed down to one of his nipples.

They were hard and pebbled already and I could feel his erection pressing up between my thighs through the sheet, the feeling of him hot and throbbing sending a shiver up my spine. I breathed hotly over his nipple, my eyes flicking up to connect with his. Louis's pupils were blown wide with lust under his hooded lids, breath coming out in harsh pants as I tongued his nipple whilst maintaining eye contact. He groaned and tipped his head back, hips jerking upwards into my own as I captured the nub in my mouth and swirled my tongue around it.

"Mmm, fuck," Louis hissed out when I gently nipped at him, kissing a line over to his other nipple, tugging at the spit slicked, neglected one.

I didn't pull away until his nipples were raw, red and puffy from my lips and fingers and Louis was whining underneath me. We rutted desperately against each other as Lou's fingers finally tangled themselves in my hair and hurriedly yanked my mouth up to his, smashing our lips together frantically.

He swallowed my moan eagerly, tugging more firmly on my hair and my hands mapped out his body even further, learning more and more as I did. He groaned and managed to kick off the sheets separating us, only thin layers of clothing preventing us from being as close as possible.

We struggled out of our clothes until we were flush against each other, skin to skin as we rocked together, Louis hard between us. I whimpered when his hand slipped down my stomach and skillfully rubbed into me. I gasped and propped myself up on my knees on either side of his hips to give him more room as my hand flew down to his no doubt aching cock, all self doubt banished when he groaned appreciatively.

His fingers pushed through the soft folds, dipping into me and stroking gently. My breath caught in my throat and a strangled noise was whooshed from my lungs before Louis sealed our lips together. I thumbed at the slit of Louis's cock to gather the precum beading there before he was letting out a low growl and his hand retreated.

My eyes flew open and my mouth followed suit to protest, allowing Louis's tongue to dart inside, carressing over mine as his hand knocked mine away from his impressive length. I tried to argue again but was caught up in the way that he nibbled harshly at my bottom lip and how his cock slowly started to push into me. A mangled yelp was transferred into Louis's mouth when he captured my lips again, having finished with abusing the lower one, and he squeezed into me.

I felt so full. So fucking full and complete as my eyes fell shut and I clapped my hands onto Louis's chest, wiggling gratefully on top of him. I loved the way that he felt inside me, the way that his cock filled me up and pulsed hotly as I stretched to accomodate him.

"Fuck, not gonna last long. Just- _shit_ -please, babe," Louis mouthed against my lips. I nodded dazedly, straightening up and using the hold I had on his slightly defined pecs as leverage to lift myself up and then sink back down, drawing filthy moans from the both of us.

I slammed my hips down on Louis's cock, enveloping the twitching length and feeling him push deeper into me than he had before. His fingers were digging harshly into my hips as he guided my movement, showing me exactly how to do it and probably leaving bruises in the process.

 

 

Louis's POV:

"Christ, look so fucking good riding my cock," I babbled, my eyes glued to where I was disappearing into the practically unbearably tight heat.

Mercy threw her head back and she rolled her hips as she fucked herself down onto me. And I had never seen a prettier sight when I glanced up at her flushed face, the way that she was gnawing on her lower lip, sucking it into her mouth continuously, as broken moans tumbled out of her mouth.

I didn't think I'd ever get enough, she was just so perfect, so good like this, whimpering every time I plunged into her, with a light sheen of sweat covering her body. I held on to the backs of her trembling thighs tightly to help her lift herself as her boobs heaved from the movement of her bouncing on my dick.

"Lou," she whined lightly as her silky walls contracted around me, clutching at my cock as if her body never wanted to let me go.

"Fuck, Mercy," I groaned in response, lurching forward to crash our lips in a fierce kiss as she worked to keep taking me until I was so unbelievably deep inside her.

I bucked my hips up the best that I could with her on top of me as our tongues mingled in and out of our mouths and our ragged breaths fanned over sweat soaked skin. I held her close, feeling the hardness of her nipples dragging over my bare chest erotically. I buried my face in her neck and bit down when she squeezed around me involuntarily as she came with a high pitched scream, hands twisted into my hair.

"Shit, shit, shit, _fuck_!" I choked out, thrusting up erratically as the clenching of Mercy around my raging hard dick began to milk my own orgasm out of me.

"Yeah, come Lou. Please, want you to come inside me. Fuck, feels so good," she whispered, sounding absolutely wrecked. I grit out a groan. I did that to her. I made her feel as incredible as she was making me feel. I tore her apart and in turn she was ripping my sanity to shreds in the best bloody way possible.

I wasn't even sure how I had lasted this long, not with the way the intense friction of skin on skin was edging me closer and closer to exploding. Not with the way I'd never been inside someone bare before Mercy and how she was begging me to come inside of her. Or with how the sound of her mewling moans along with the slapping of our skin filled the room. The way that she moaned and whimpered and whined in pleasure was more than enough for me to get drunk on. Fuck.

I let go, the white hot heat coiling in my stomach, washing over me and shooting up my spine as I came with a cry of her name. I pumped into her shallowly, riding out our orgasms before I stilled completely. Carefully pulling out of Mercy, I lightly trailed my fingers over her back, just like I knew she loved as I nuzzled into her neck, peppering her skin with small pecks as I tried to get my breathing back under control.

I leaned back just enough to press my mouth to Mercy's sweetly, our lips moving languidly against the others, tongues flicking out to taste each other as we came down from our considerable highs.

"Anyone ever tell you have a filthy mouth?" I chuckled breathlessly, lightly bumping her nose with mine.

"You love it," she giggled, resting her forehead against mine.

"Yeah, fuck, that was hot. Really glad we're alone," I laughed, raking my fingers through my damp hair, reveling in the cool air that assaulted our overheated bodies.

"Yeah, me too. Imagine explaining that to our parents," Mercy shuddered, whether from the cold or the thought of getting caught, I couldn't tell. Most likely both.

"Speaking of that... When should we tell them, like. I want them to know, but I don't know how they'll take it," I pointed out worriedly, adjusting a bit to grab a hold of the blanket shoved to the foot of the bed and drawing it over us as I laid on my back with Mercy still atop me.

"I don't know. Christmas is coming up and everything always just gets so hectic you know? Plus, I don't know. We haven't really... you know, talked about us, and what we are yet. I'm not really ready to share you right now," Mercy smiled cheekily with a gentle nip at my jaw.

"Hey, there's not much to talk about, love. You're my girlfriend, no one else can have you. You're mine and I'm yours. End of story. And, as for telling our families, and the boys, maybe we should wait until after Christmas until everything has calmed down a little bit? Then we don't have to stress about anything more than usual, and we can get used to being together, yeah?" I suggested, pushing her fringe out of her eyes and kissing her forehead.

"I like the sound of that," she sighed happily, straining to reach my lips with her own. I chuckled against her mouth in agreement and let her slot our lips together before dropping back onto the bed, utterly exhausted.

 

******

 

It was so easy. Like everything else we did, being together, really being together, was as simple as breathing. We transitioned so flawlessly from being best friends to being a couple that it made me wonder how. It made me wonder if we were more to each other all along and we just didn't take notice or act on it when we did. It didn't make sense any other way and the thought that somehow, for some reason or other, we both had meant more to each other from the very beginning had a tingling warmth erupting in my stomach.

It wasn't awkward telling Mercy that I loved her, or when we laced our fingers together, or when we leaned in for a chaste kiss as we laughed and joked like we always had. It was so natural and so unnerving that I couldn't decide whether I should feel grateful it was so perfect or be on the edge of my metaphorical seat waiting for the other shoe to drop.

But when I looked at her, when I let my gaze linger too long on the delicate line of her jaw and the careful curve of her lips, I couldn't find it in myself to be anything other than giddily happy. It was ridiculous, the pure thrill I got just from looking over as we cuddled together and watched movies, knowing that Mercy was finally all mine. I could have her. She was letting me keep her, and it was the best gift I could've ever received this coming birthday/Christmas.

The small girl curled up against my chest smiled when she lifted her head to look at me, amusement dancing in her eyes as I let my fingers lightly brush over her bare arm. I chuckled and kissed her pink mouth, letting my nose skim over hers before we turned our attention back to the movie.

Yeah, I was fucking lucky.

　

 

Mercy's POV:

"...Two, three, cha cha, cha," I counted off, right before Louis's hand slipped down to my butt, firmly squeezing just in time.

"Hey! My frame! Where's my pleasing arc?!" Both strong hands were planted on my ass, groping as I spoke and I met Louis's electric blue gaze to find laughter dancing in them, the laughter we were both trying so hard to contain.

"Spaghetti arms! Would you give me some tension please?" I chastised along with Jennifer Grey as Dirty Dancing played in the background, Louis enclosing me in his arms, bending his knees just enough so that he was nosing over my sternum.

I wiggled out of his arms, "You're invading my dance space. This is my dance space, that's yours. Let's Cha Cha."

We joined hands again, copying the steps on screen as we threatened to burst with contained glee over our complete and utter stupidity.

Louis slowly started to slide down my body, letting his lips trail over the exposed skin of my stomach as I spoke and pushed him gently away, "Don't look down, look right here."

He rolled his eyes and fell to the ground as Patrick Swayze did, me and Jennifer sauntering off seductively.

"Slyvia," Louis called out with a mock serious look, his piercing gaze roving over my body as I turned.

"Yes, Mickey?"

He flicked his eyebrows upwards for a moment before responding, "How do you call your lover boy?"

I jerked my head, "C'mere lover boy!"

"And if he doesn't answer?"

I smirked, "Oh lover boy!"

Louis kneeled up with a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, jerking his head, "And if he **_still_** doesn't answer?"

I grinned, falling onto my knees and singing along with the movie as Louis and I slowly crawled towards each other, struggling to keep straight faces as we finally met in the middle of the living room.

I couldn't even remember whose idea it was for us to imitate the movie. I think we had both just gotten bored and started mouthing the lines at each other as a joke. But it really didn't matter, not with Louis right there, practically pressed up against me with this sly, little smirk and the way that we were near hysterics.

We finally lost it as soon as Neil or whatever his name was, interrupted the steamyish scene and collapsed in on each other, leaning heavily as we cracked up. I gasped for air as Louis's arms wrapped around me and he smacked a sloppy kiss to my lips.

"God, I love you," he chuckled breathily, pressing another soft kiss to my lips as his thumb stroked over my cheek. My giggles died down and I smiled, nuzzling into him.

"I know, I love you too, Lou," I assured him.

The rush of affection and adoration that flooded through me every time he told me that never faded. It was kind of addicting, speaking those words and knowing what the other really meant. We had been saying them at random intervals, relishing in the hitch in each other's breath.

I pushed my fingers through his swooping bangs, running them through the soft hair and tugging a bit when my hand was tangled in the shorter strands near the nape of his neck. I reveled in the low groan. We both had a thing for hair pulling.

"Well of course you do, I'm bloody brilliant," Louis teased, capturing my mouth with his, playfully nipping at my bottom lip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how it happened but this story just ended up including lots of naughty times to come with some fluff on the side. I think they're compensating for all the time they missed that they could have been having sex :). Oh well, we can always have more fluffy stuff later before the surprise ending.


	13. Chapter 13

Louis's POV:

I woke up on Wednesday morning with a soft groan and a hot, wet suction around my hard cock. I gasped sharply, looking down to find Mercy's hazel eyes fixed on my face, waiting to see when I woke. I did my best not to squirm, to keep from bucking up into her fucking perfect mouth as she bobbed her head and swirled her tongue around the the head of my cock every time she pulled up, slipping it underneath the foreskin.

"Fuck, look so pretty with my cock in your mouth," I rasped, feeling the heat in my belly tighten even more, already so close from her sucking my hard prick for who knew how long. My fists twisted into the sheets until my knuckles turned white and I fought every urge to fuck up into her mouth.

Mercy moaned around my aching length and the vibrations had me just on the edge, about to go flying over it. I was so close, so fucking close and when she swallowed me down so her puffy red lips were stretched around the base of my cock, I couldn't take it any longer. I came hard down her throat my eyes screwing shut as spurts of warm come flooded her mouth.

I groaned when she pulled off my softening dick, lapping at it and cleaning me off before she rose up and nuzzled into my neck. I wrapped her up in my arms, panting, as I tried to recover from yet another mind scrambling orgasm.

"C'mon Lou, we have to get to school and we need to give Lottie a ride. I'm supposed to talk to her about what she needs me to bake for the upcoming dance," Mercy reminded me, soft kisses peppered over my slightly sweaty skin.

I sighed as I let my fingertips trail over the knobs of her spine as she lay naked next to me. One of the many benefits of being together was not having to wear any clothing to bed. I wasn't a big fan of it in the first place, but now I was even more against wearing any pajamas to bed when I could be naked with the girl I loved.

I wiggled closer to the silky warmth of her skin where she was pressed along the side of my body, fingers lightly drawing patterns over my bare chest as Mercy gave me a chance to recover from my high. I planted a gentle kiss to her lips, tasting the slight bitterness of myself, as I thumbed over her baby soft cheek and we exchanged small smiles.

"Fine, but I still maintain that you should've just told her you'd talk to her at lunch. She's interrupting what could be a very satisfying morning shag," I chuckled, brushing my hand over the curve of her hip, down to where the sheet covered her waist.

"Lou, I just got you off," Mercy snorted with a proud smirk.

"Yeah, but now we don't have time for me to return the favor," I replied with an exasperated eyeroll as if that should have been the most obvious thing in the world. Which it should have been. I could barely keep my hands off of her when she wasn't naked.

"We can always do that later," she suggested, gently tweaking my nipple and making me suck in a harsh breath as it hardened.

"What? You don't want me licking into you until you can't stand it anymore?" I asked breathlessly, nosing along the column of her throat until her head tipped back enough for me to nip along the sensitive skin.

The only answer I received was ragged breaths being regulated, trying to steady out into a normal rythm as I sucked at her pulse point. My tongue flicked over the forming bruise before I blew cool air over it, prompting a shiver and a mewl as Mercy's hand tangled in my hair and mine wandered her body.

"You don't want me to fuck you with my tongue? Taste you? Feel you clench around my fingers when you come?" I whispered in her ear, tongue tracing over the shell of it before I nibbled at her earlobe.

Mercy whimpered, clutching me tighter to her, as my fingers taunted the skin of her lower tummy, right above where she needed me most. I felt the muscles of her stomach flutter under my feather light touch as I teased just a bit more, mouthing over her collarbone and biting.

She whined high in her throat, urging me on just as the deafening sound of her phone vibrating on the bedside table cut through the near silence of the bedroom. Mercy cursed quietly under her breath as I rolled out of bed with a shit eating grin on my face.

　

 

Mercy's POV:

It was so fucking frustrating, Lottie texting me **_right in the middle of something_**. I mean come on! Louis's hand was so close, and the words he breathed over my skin had me burning up from the inside out. The way that his hand was so carefully avoiding giving me what I wanted, but driving me crazy all the same, and how his hot breath fanned over my neck as his lips skimmed over my skin had me wanting to yank him to me right then and beg him to fuck me.

It was all I could do not to drag Louis back to my house and into my room all day and get him to finish what he started. I was itching to get my hands on him, to touch him, kiss him, anything at all. We had been trying to keep cool around our friends so it wouldn't be so obvious, but it was torture. I had taken to starting conversations with Harry and concentrating on every single word that he spoke just so I'd be able to ignore Louis's searing gaze.

I really had no idea the kind of impact that would have. And I wasn't going to complain at all. Not one little bit actually. Not when it riled Louis up like it did.

　

 

Louis's POV:

I hate having to watch her with other people. I hate having to see her try and ignore me while she talks to Harry. But what I hate most of all is people not knowing that she's mine. Especially when Harry starts to get handsy. I know it's not his fault, he's just a tactile person like the rest of us, but it drove me mad watching them together. The way that Mercy hung off every word that came out of his mouth, even as they left it slow as bloody fuck, made me want to push him away from her and take his place.

Honestly, I don't know why it was getting to me so much. I knew she was mine. I knew what she looked like when she came. I knew that she loved me. I knew that she would never, ever pick someone else over me, but it was frustrating. So very, very frustrating, not being able to scream it to the whole world that we were together. I knew we couldn't tell anyone, not yet anyways. We had our parents to worry about now that we were sure we could make our relationship work.

Actually, I don't even think whether we could be together was really a question to begin with. It was how our parents would react that worried us. We knew they let us sleep over because we were **_just_** best friends. Telling them would throw everything into question. And, how do you deal with that in the first place? Knowing that the person your child grew up with, the one you saw as part of your own family, was now your son/daughter's boyfriend/girlfriend. I wasn't sure how David would react to his niece/daughter being with me, but my mom would probably freak out a little bit.

God, the whole thing was confusing. I kept going over the situation in my mind, but I couldn't see any way of explaining Mercy and I to our parents without some kind of fallout. No, waiting until after my birthday and Christmas was probably our best bet. Then we wouldn't have to drop a bomb on our families with all the parties and get togethers going on around that time.

I heard a clear, ringing laugh, the one that I had fallen in love with and snapped my head up to find Harry with a rather pleased look on his face as Mercy laughed at whatever inane thing he'd said. I felt the urge to growl, to drag her into the bathroom and mark her up with even more love bites. Ones that she couldn't hide underneath a scarf and a high neckline.

I managed to make it until we got home, slamming the front door and stomping up the stairs to Mercy's room, her hand firmly trapped in mine. I could faintly hear her questions but focused on not running into anything as I kicked her door shut and spun her around until her back was pressed to my front.

"Louis?" Mercy inquired breathlessly.

"Quiet," I ordered, breathing heavy and ragged as I carefully but frantically unwound the scarf from her neck.

I still held her to me tightly, arm wrapped securely around her waist as Mercy let me rip her shirt over her head, even helping me with it. I heard her breath hitch and I could feel the way that her heart was racing as I delicately pushed her hair to one side, mouth latching onto the exposed skin of her shoulder.

"Do you have any idea how insane it makes me to see Harry with his stupid face flirting with you all day?" I demanded lowly, mouthing over her already flushed skin, up to her ear. Mercy shivered, shaking her head as I carefully unhooked her bra then pulled it from her.

"All I wanted to do was punch that happy look off his face every time he made you laugh," I confessed, sending a silent apology to Harry. I loved him, he was fucking adorable, like a little kitten, and one of my best mates, but right then I was really only focused on working Mercy up as much as I was.

"You have absolutely no idea what you do to me, do you?" I asked, my voice feeling raw and gravelly as I reached down to unbutton her jeans and push them down.

Mercy's breath came in short bursts as my fingers teased her through her small underwear, her body melting into mine. I smirked as I nipped at the spot just below her ear and pushed the offensive fabric to the side so my fingers could find her hot center. She gasped when my fingertips finally slipped over her satiny soft folds, massaging gently over her nub. I could feel her trembling in my arms already, feel how wet she was and it had me groaning, rocking my hardness against her cute, little bum.

"Christ, you have no clue, how brilliant you are. Your mouth-jesus-you taste like heaven, but every time you kiss me, or you wrap your perfect lips around my cock, it feels like the best kind of sin," I paused, dipping my fingers into her, feeling the way she was already contracting from the attention my thumb was giving her, moving in small circles just above the two digits inside her.

"And your body-fuck-when it's underneath mine, when you're squirming from the simplest of touches, I never want it to end. You're so fucking responsive to every brush of my lips, every flick of my tongue, every stroke of my hand," I stopped again as Mercy shuddered, closer and closer to coming as I peppered her neck with kisses and twisted my fingers, never letting my thumb wander as it kept constant pressure on her little nub. She was doing so well, keeping quiet for me but for breathy little moans that went straight to my cock where I was still grinding against her.

"I think I could come just from touching you, just from watching you come undone. You make me want you so bloody badly it hurts because I can't touch you when all I want it is to fuck you into the mattress. You have no idea how hard it is not to be able to claim you, to tell everyone you're mine and no one elses," I whispered, fucking into her harder and sucking a dark love bite into her collarbone as my free hand played with her nipples where they had hardened into peaks.

"Louis," Mercy whined, finally speaking. I shivered at how desperate she sounded, doing my best to keep my composure and trying not to come at the sound of her wrecked voice.

"Yeah, baby?" I asked thickly instead, audibly swallowing as I sped my fingers up.

" ** _Please_** ," she begged, fingers scrabbling to find purchase, one hand tangling in my hair and the other clutching at my wrist.

"What? Tell me what you want, darling," I prompted, breath ghosting over her shoulder from where my face was buried in her neck as I tried to control my breathing and focus on her.

"You. Please," she whimpered, pushing back against my hard cock where it was being suffocated in my trousers.

"You want my cock?" I teased, biting harshly into her neck and sucking.

" ** _YES_** ," she gasped, quivering as she bucked her hips into my hand while doing her best to provide friction to my aching dick.

"You want me inside of you?" I asked as I rubbed into her harder.

"Lou, **_please_** ," she mewled, writhing against me.

"Tell me," I commanded, tweaking a nipple and making her jolt from the mix of pleasure and pain it sent through her body.

"Yes! Yes, Louis. I want your cock. I want you inside me. I want you to..." she trailed off, moaning loudly, sagging a bit as she neared her release. I kept her on the edge, shoving her towards it and then backing off at the last second.

"You want me to what? You have to use your words, love," I taunted, letting my stubble scrape over her neck.

"Fuck, **_Lou_** _._ Fuck me, **_please_** ," she keened, her head tipping back onto my shoulder so I could fuck into her mouth with my tongue, kissing her filthily and drawing out a dirty moan.

"Come for me first. Come just from my fingers," I demanded, lips still brushing over hers when she tried to chase my mouth.

" ** _Lou_** ," Mercy gasped.

"Come," I ordered, tugging her bottom lip into my mouth with my teeth as she clenched hard around my fingers, the muscles of her inner walls fluttering around them. A choked off scream, and a half a minute of eyes rolling back into her head later, Mercy slumped against me.

I carried her over to the bed, laying her down before she flung her underwear off, leaving her completely naked. I groaned, the throbbing of my rock hard dick, finally registering full force now that I wasn't so focused on torturing my girlfriend.

She eagerly helped me out of my clothes, pulling me down on top of her, my body draped over hers. I grinned, crashing our lips together in a feverish kiss, thrusting my tongue into her mouth before whispering "turn around".

Mercy flipped over, letting me drag her into the position I wanted until we were flush against each other again but this time on our knees. I took my cock in hand, feeling the hot, heavy weight of it, almost coming right then. I wasn't even sure if I could last that long, was probably going to burst the moment I pushed into Mercy's tight, wet heat. But it was always easy to get her to come again after the first time. I guided myself into her, determined not to come until she did.

We both moaned as I filled her up, slowly pushing in and letting her adjust. I stayed still for a moment, breathing hard and reaching up to cup the soft curves of her breasts. I pulled back agonizingly slowly with her clutching at me deliciously until just the tip of my cock was inside before snapping my hips forward.

Mercy whimpered, meeting each, fast, hard thrust earnestly as I fucked into her rapidly. I dropped one hand to her hip, digging into the soft skin as I pounded into her malleable body. She was twitching and contracting around me in the most perfect way, our bodies rolling together as I rocked into her.

It was over sooner than usual, Mercy coming with a high pitched, breathy but strangled scream. I growled out her name, hugging her closer than ever and capturing her lips with mine when her head turned, burying my cock inside her before coming harder than ever.

I gasped into her mouth, vision whiting out for a moment, fighting the urge to collapse on top of her. Our breaths were labored, our bodies spent and sore, and I was slowly softening inside her, but it was the most wonderful feeling ever.

I sucked another dark lovebite into her skin dazedly. "Mine," I murmured, nuzzling into her neck, teetering on my knees.

"Yours," Mercy assured me, covering my arms with hers and gently tilting us until we fell onto the bed sideways, still completely pressed together.

We were covered in sweat and come and the room reeked of sex but I couldn't bring myself to move or care. Mercy just curled into me and I realized belatedly that I was still inside her as my eyelids drooped and I heard her breath deepening and evening out. I fell into sleep, unable to function any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is is just me or is a possessive Louis really hot? :) But fluffier stuff to come soon! :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to post this early because I just got it done. I don't know how good it is... probably not some of my best work but some cute, fluffy stuff. It's also the last chapter. I'm hoping the big surprise at the end is actually a surprise. I don't know when I'll get around to the sequel, but there will be one! :) Hope you enjoy! Also a little Ziam.

Mercy's POV:

When I woke up I was pleasantly sore, sated and all around happy as fuck. I rolled around to cuddle into Louis when I noticed that he was gone but there was the sound of running water coming from my bathroom. It was too heavy and steady for it to be the shower.

I sat up just as Louis, in all his naked glory, came out of the bathroom with an award winning, easy smile that screamed 'well fucked' as much as his disheveled hair. I smiled at him, drinking in his golden skin and the taut muscles of his stomach as he walked over, scooping me up.

"Louis!" I squawked in protest, trying to wiggle out of his arms and escape his iron clad grip.

He just chuckled, carrying me into the bathroom and carefully climbing our way into the tub, swiftly shutting off the warm water pouring out of the spout. I settled in against his chest, basking in the comfort and the love that was radiating from the both of us.

I giggled as I let Louis take care of me, tickling me as he scrubbed my body and then washed my hair, massaging my scalp. I shivered under his touch, reveling in the butterflies flitting about in my tummy.

We readjusted and he wrapped my legs around his waist as I got to work on washing him. I took extra care with his hair, trying not to pull too hard. Louis laughed, turning to face me when he was clean and resting his forehead against mine, my thighs settling over his. His hands gripped onto my hips and lifted me into his lap so my arms could wrap around his neck and his could encircle my waist.

"I love you, you know that right?" Louis asked, nosing at my throat, pressing a soft kiss to cheek and nuzzling into me.

"Yeah, of course. I love you too. What's brought this on?" I giggled, loving the way his scruff dragged over my skin.

"I just-it's getting harder to pretend that I don't. And, I might have gotten a little rough," Louis shrugged, blushing a bit.

I laughed harder, planting my lips on his, trying to kiss him even through our smiles as he leaned back against the side of the tub. Louis drew back enough to run the pad of his thumb over my swollen bottom lip and gazed up at me questioningly.

"You're ridiculous. I loved it. I love you. And it'll all be okay. We only have to keep it up for two more weeks tops. And just so you know, you drive me crazy too. The only reason I was "ignoring" you, was because I can't look at you without wanting to just drag you away from everyone and kiss you senseless," I assured him seriously, snuggling into his chest, my head tucked into his shoulder.

I shivered, goosebumps breaking out over my skin as Louis's fingers traced my spine. It was one of my weaknesses. I loved when he did that.

"Yeah, I know the feeling," he sighed pressing a soft kiss to my forehead.

I tipped my head back, catching his lips with mine, a careful, close mouthed kiss that still sent a spark of electricity racing through my body. An aborted noise from the back of my throat was cut off by Louis's mouth and his tongue ran over the seam of my lips tantalizingly. I smiled, sucking his lower lip into my mouth and earning a small groan. We both grinned, bumping our noses together.

"C'mon, love. You have some baking to do, and I have homework that needs to be cursed at," Louis chuckled, pecking me on the lips once more before coaxing me out of the bath with a lot of protesting and grumbling.

I groaned, slightly uncomfortable from my sore muscles but utterly relaxed and happy. Louis and I dressed quickly, pressing fleeting kisses to any inch of exposed skin we could reach, giggling. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun, letting Louis kiss me silly until he pulled away with a lazy grin and one last, lingering kiss before he left.

　

 

Liam's POV:

"Fuck Li," Zayn growled out, white ribbons of come painting my chest as he fucked himself down on my cock. I groaned when his walls tightened around my dick, roughly grabbing onto his hips and thrusting up sloppily a few more times before I shot my load in his perfect arse.

Zayn collapsed on top of my sticky chest, both of us panting and coming down from amazing highs. I sighed contentedly, holding my boyfriend in my arms and pressing soft kisses to his swollen, red lips. Lips that had plumped up from frantic kissing and a phemonal blow job.

"I fucking love you," Zayn murmured, mouth brushing over mine as his goregous hazel eyes opened to meet my brown ones.

"Love you too, Z. Fuck, 'specially when you ride me," I slurred, brialliantly sated and too knackered to be embarrassed.

"Yeah, well, you have an amazing cock," Zayn hummed, settling on top of me, the both of us boneless.

We lay there for a while, somewhere between reality and unconsciousness, fighting off the urge to sleep so we wouldn't wake up stuck together. Really, it wasn't the most fun thing in the world. We'd done it before and Zayn is grumpy enough when he has to wake up without the added complication of us being attached.

"Shit! Sorry, lads," a high pitched voice swore from the doorway. My eyes lazily opened and Zayn's head snapped around.

"What the fuck is it with you and Mercy walking in on me when I'm naked?" Z whined, glaring at Louis who looked a cross between mortified and amused.

"Sorry, mate, didn't know you were, erm, entertaining. But I need your help," Lou shrugged, tentatively walking into the room and shutting the door behind him.

I swear, he and Mercy knew no boundries. She probably would have done the exact same thing as Louis if she weren't polite enough to leave. I groaned and scooted up the bed a bit, Zayn still firmly planted in my lap and unlikely to move anytime soon.

"What?" Zayn snapped tiredly, resting his cheek on my shoulder as I ran my fingers through his ruffled hair.

"Well, um, I wanted to take Mercy out on a date like. I mean, I have an idea, but I wasn't sure if it was a good one, and I figured that you'd know," Louis answered with a slight blush coloring his cheeks.

"That's what you fucking interrupted us for? Seriously? You know her better than any of us, Lou. Christ, mate, just do whatever you were planning," Zayn scoffed, reaching for his cigarettes on the night stand. I smacked his hand away and gave him a scolding look that earned me a death glare.

"Well, see, that's the other thing like. I need you to help because I can't cook for shit," Louis chuckled softly, scratching at the back of his head.

"Urgh, fuck, fine," Zayn grumbled, slowly stretching out his body as Louis beamed at the two of us.

"Thanks, mate, see you downstairs. Try not to fuck again. We're on a schedule," Lou chirped, hopping up and bouncing on the balls of his feet as he walked to the door.

"Oh, and don't forget to clean up the come stains!" he added, laughing joyously as Zayn yelled a "Fuck off" after him.

A chuckled rumbled low in my chest as Zayn face planted into it, heaving a great sigh, "They need to sort out their priorities."

"Quoting Harry Potter won't make him go away any faster, love," I pointed out, resting my cheek on top of his soft hair, running my fingers through the slightly sweat damp strands.

"But it makes me feel funny, yeah?" Zayn argued tiredly. I could feel his smile against my skin. The way that he probably had his tongue pressed to the back of his teeth as his lips stretched over them.

"You are, promise," I assured him amusedly.

"Right laugh I am. Now get your dick outta my arse, so we can go see what the hell Lou was on about," Zayn huffed, still completely immobile, waiting for me to do all the work. Really, he was lucky that anyone could love his lazy bum.

　

 

Mercy's POV:

"Hey, baby," Louis murmured against my neck, wrapping his arms around me from behind as I took a break from stirring the dry ingredients for cream cheese frosting.

I melted into him, letting him hold me up, tired from all the baking that I'd done. Say what you will, but it's hard. My arms get sore, my back starts to ache, my feet start to hurt. It's awful and totally worth it, when I get that rush of pride because it tastes amazing.

"You should get changed, I have something to show you," Lou chuckled mischievously, pecking the love bite from earlier. I giggled wearily, sighing as I turned in his arms and pressed my lips to his.

"Why? Tired," I told him, nuzzling into his chest as his arms wrapped tighter around me.

"I know, love. But you'll like it, promise," he assured me with a small laugh, thumb coming up to brush over my cheekbone lovingly.

"You know I hate surprises," I said, rolling my eyes but stretching to kiss him all the same and drawing away to go and change.

Louis shot me a satisfied smirk and followed me upstairs, right behind me with his stupid, pleased laugh. I glared, digging through my drawers for a pair of skinny jeans and yanking them on after discarding the soft pajama bottoms I'd been wearing. He watched me attentively from where he sat on the bed, bouncing in excitement on the edge. I fought the urge to just try and beat the surprise out of him, but relunctantly dressed instead.

I hesitated when I came across a shirt I hadn't worn in ages. It had short sleeves, but soft, red fabric that dipped at the neckline. Casual but cute and not something I had been able to wear ever since that Night. Louis suddenly appeared behind me, curving around my back and hooking his chin on my shoulder. We both stared for a moment before Louis took my left forearm in his hand delicately.

I craned my neck around, watching as he pressed tender kisses to the scar that ran up my arm, thumb pressed into my palm. I shivered at his burning touch, the warmth from his body emanating and seeping through his clothes onto my bare skin.

"Wear it, darling, you'll look lovely," he whispered soothingly, kissing the hollow just behind my ear softly in reassurance before moving back so I could slip the shirt over my head, the fabric fluttering into place. I smiled and turned to find Louis's blue eyes resting on me as his lips turned up at the corners fondly.

******

"You do realize that blindfolding me could be considered a sex kink right?" I asked as Louis drove, blackness surrounding me save for the small sliver of light from the bottom of the scarf, or sleeping mask, or whatever Louis used.

"Yeah actually, think we should give that a go. You'd look so pretty all spread out for me with nothing on but a blindfold and handcuffs," Lou practically purred, a finger brushing over my cheek teasingly.

I shuddered under his touch and his taunting tone as I wiggled in my seat. Yeah, we should definitely, definitely try that. I grinned, fumbling to reach Louis's hand before his fingers slipped through mine.

"Maybe I want you tied up and blindfolded, torture you until you can't take it anymore and are begging me to let you come," I challenged breathily, squeezing his hand when I heard the hitch in his breath and the way that his fingers twitched.

"Y-yeah, that- yeah, we should try both," Louis agreed, voice breaking as he spoke and I giggled happily.

The car came to a stop about fifteen minutes after we'd left the house and Louis guided me silently. I could tell we were probably somewhere familiar. I almost thought it was school for a moment when I noticed the squeaking of our shoes and the way that our footsteps reverberated throughout the hallway or wherever we were.

We came to a stop, the hard ground giving way to softer flooring, something dragging against the soles of my shoes. I was utterly stumped. And then bright whiteness blinded me for a moment when the mask was pulled away before I blinked away the spots in my vision. An indoor soccer field came into view, the one at the rec center used when it was too cold or muddy for players to practice.

"I thought that since you ruined my surprise declaration of love that maybe we could have our first date here. I would've taken you to the field we actually met, but you know, it's freezing out," Louis explained sheepishly, a hint of a blush tinging his cheeks.

That's when my eyes fell on the blanket spread out along the sidelines with a picnic basket set on top and a small vase with a rose in it. A rush of love and fondness swept over me and a smile split my face in half before I threw my arms around Louis's neck.

"You're such a sap," I giggled excitedly, smacking a kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah, well," he shrugged, the flush deepening as we sat on the blanket, Louis slowly revealing the food.

It wasn't much, just some macaroni salad, barbecue chicken and fruit along with some dessert. But it meant everything to me. There were so many ways that I imagined a date with Louis but it didn't compare to the real thing. We'd spent plenty of time together throughout the years but it was nothing quite like the date that he'd planned. The way that he looked at me and the freedom that we had to hold hands and kiss, as if we were in our own little world with nothing but the soccer field and each other. We didn't have to hide and we didn't have to look warily over our shoulders. It was perfect. Utterly cliche and soppy but wonderful nonetheless.

"Thank you Lou, thank you so much," I sighed contentedly, leaning back against his chest, having finished the food.

"Anything for you, love. Though maybe we should thank Zayn and Liam. They're the ones that cooked. I supervised," he chuckled, the low laugh rumbling through his chest and vibrating against my back.

"And here I thought you'd become a culinary genius in the past couple of hours," I joked, tipping my head back and nipping lightly at his jaw.

"Cheeky. They owed me anyways. Walked in on them fucking," Louis laughed, nuzzling into my neck, teeth scraping over my ear lobe.

"You too?" I asked curiously, finally turning around to face him, legs settling over his.

"You knew? Why didn't you tell me?! So many coming out of the closet jokes wasted!" Louis gaped in mock terror.

I giggled, falling onto my back and staring up at the ceiling, Louis's hands settling on my thighs. I hadn't laughed so much in a long time, even with constantly being around Lou. It was nice to just be able to relax and forget about everything.

"Well, I would've but it was that night that I, you know, got The Letter," I shrugged, arms rubbing against the slightly coarse blanket.

I could feel the way Louis's body tensed, saw how his jaw clenched, and his eyes hardened. His hands slipped to my hips, thumbs digging into the bones as he lifted me back up so I was sitting straight and he could fix me with his piercing blue gaze. I gave him a questioning look, cocking an eyebrow. He pulled me closer, fingers splaying over my lower back before he buried his face into my neck, breathing me in.

"Lou?" I inquired softly, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

"Sorry, love, I just- I hated that night. It scared me so much, seeing you like that and not being able to do anything," he murmured, kissing my shoulder and drawing back with a tiny, reassuring smile.

We didn't say much after that, just sat there for a while, quietly enjoying being together without worrying if someone was going to walk in on us that we weren't ready to tell just yet. We stayed for another hour playing one on one, which Louis of course won. I knew he must've let me score the few points I had on purpose, but it was still fun. We played dirty too, poking and jabbing at the other's most ticklish spots and tackling each other to the ground, rolling around playfully.

"Come on, love, let's get you home," Louis snickered after my fifth yawn in the past ten minutes. I grumbled a bit, unwilling to leave the private world we'd created for ourselves.

Louis walked me up to the front door, pausing before we went in.

"What?" I asked, looking up into his twinkling eyes and the way that the shadows of his lashes kissed his cheeks.

"Have to give you a proper kiss goodnight," he smirked, bumping his nose against mine affectionately.

I let out a breathy giggle, lips seeking his until our mouths met softly. The gentle press of his lips against mine increased until his tongue licked into my mouth, sliding over mine. I shivered, balling his shirt in my fists and tugging him closer as our tongues clashed in a passionate dance and our lips melted together. Our bodies were flush against each other, crushed as close as possible as Louis dipped me backwards, hand on the nape of my neck.

"I love you, Mercy," Louis gasped, lips still brushing over mine as he spoke.

"Love you too," I murmured raggedly, loosening the tight hold I had on his shirt and palming his chest instead as we leaned together and breathed heavily.

I never wanted to leave his arms, to leave the safety that encompassed me whenever Louis was nearby. His bright smile was like the sun and I gravitated towards him naturally, a strong, unexplainable pull that I could never leave. I didn't want to leave it. I was finally happy and it was the strangest feeling, to feel like I was lighter than air, that I was floating on cloud nine, buoyed by Louis's love. But it was all I'd ever need, **_he_** was all I'd ever need. Of that much I was sure.

******

"Oof! I love you, Lou, but get off," I huffed out, struggling under his weight from where he had flopped atop me.

"C'mon, Mercy! There's a party downstairs!" Louis laughed, rolling off me and dropping onto the bed, pressing a kiss to my temple, nosing along my cheek and growling a bit in my ear. I shivered, giggling as I pushed his head away and turned towards him.

There was a party going on, one that I wasn't too keen on being a part of. Every year Jay or my Uncle David threw a party for all the Tomlinsons to gather at seeing as my uncle and I had been taken into their rather large family. I wasn't complaining but a whole bunch of people ready to bombard you with questions about school and boys and friends, it could be a bit exhausting. What I especially hated was the tiring, consdescending tone that some of the family seemed to use when talking to me, as if I were a child or somehow inferior to them.

I loved most of the Tomlinsons but Louis had this creepy uncle who always stared at you unblinkingly, and an aunt who thought it was fun to look down her nose at me with a dignified sniff. But not wanting to go to the party also might have had something to do with Louis and I planning on making our "announcement" to our parents after everyone had left when they were maybe a bit tipsy.

"Please babe, get off your cute arse. Don't leave me to fend them off alone!" Louis sighed dramatically, as always.

"You're such a drama queen," I told him with a fond smile and a peck on the lips, forcing myself off the bed and to my closet for a Christmas dress.

"Does that mean that I'm getting some girl on girl action tonight then?" He cackled, propping his chin on the heel of his palm as he watched me change.

"Yeah, Lou, that's exactly what's going to happen," I scoffed with an eye roll and a giggle, stepping into the satin, red dress that made me look sweet and innocent.

"Four for you Glenn Coco," He cheered, literally patting himself on the back with a devilish smirk that I just had to kiss off.

I waggled my eyebrows and slowly slunk over to him, crawling up his body and settling over him, lacing my fingers together and placing my palms flat on his chest before I pressed my lips to his. Louis hummed in the back of his throat, flicking his tongue out to lick over my mouth teasingly, teeth sinking into my bottom lip.

"You know, I wouldn't be so averse to parties if you hadn't completely embarrassed me at the dance, the other night. I mean, come on, Lou, who starts a food fight at the Winter Formal? Especially when their super secret girlfriend spent hours slaving away making it," I chastised with a cocked eyebrow, pursing my lips petulantly.

"Oh, love, just appreciate the genius of ruining all those pretty decorations aannd it got you out of your dress faster," he laughed with a cocky grin.

His blue eyes sparkled with mischief, no doubt remembering the epic food war he'd started with a carefully aimed cupcake. It'd been a great night. It counted as our second date, though we weren't officially going together. I hated school dances normally, but with Louis attention focused solely on me and the high that I got off his kisses and seeing Liam and Zayn so smitten, I just couldn't not have fun.

The trouble started when I made the mistake of leaving Louis alone with Zayn while Liam and I were talking to Lottie and Harry while Niall was scarfing down everything in sight. The next thing I knew, all the desserts that I'd worked so hard on were being flung around the cafeteria, pasting everybody with frosting and crumbs.

We had our first argument as a couple that night. Not anything big. I was too torn between being hopelessly amused and irritated that all the work I had done was for nothing that it didn't last too long. But we did have fantastic make up sex, round two happening in the shower, up against a wall.

"You're just lucky you didn't ruin it for good, or I'd still be mad at you," I insisted haughtily, shifting until I was straddling Louis's waist, sitting on his lower stomach with my arms crossed over my chest defensively.

"Hm, don't think I'd mind all that much. Angry sex is supposed to be really hot," he grinned up at me, holding onto my hips lightly, no real intent.

"You're a perv," I told him.

"Yeah, well, you love it," he shrugged, rubbing his thumb over my scar through the fabric of my dress.

A knock sounded on the door and I scrambled to get off Louis's lap, tripping and tumbling to the ground. Jay's kind face peeked into the room, smiling serenely at us, jerking her head towards the stairs suggestively. We both nodded and stumbled towards the door with flushed faces and sheepish grins.

We quickly descended the stairs, joining the throng of people milling about in my living room, trying to find a quiet space to have to ourselves. Both of us dodged undesirable relatives that gushed about how grown up we were and how they remembered when we were young. We finally escaped to a little corner, clasping hands tightly as we giggled at Louis's Uncle Steven's horrible toupee.

"Everyone! I have an annnouncement!" Uncled David called, clinking his champange glass softly to get everybody's attention.

The entire room fell silent, though you could feel the curiosity and excitement buzzing in the air. I snickered with Louis in the back of the crowd, knowing that it was probably some ridiculous speech that he did every year. We tuned it out, exchanging heated, love struck glances as we bumped our shoulders together.

I was happy to stay wrapped up in Louis's heated gaze forever. I was treading water in his vivid blue eyes, body no longer weighed down by anything other than the past. And the past was over with. I had the present and the future with the man that I loved, but apparently my uncle was demanding my attention first because his words were trickling in, breaking through the bubble that had encased Louis and I.

"...Jay and I, well we've been seeing each other for a while now. We didn't want anyone to know until we were sure that it was serious, both of us raising kids, and all. But now, I'm pleased to inform you, that I'm madly in love with this woman and we're getting married!" Uncle David beamed, met with whoops and thunderous applause along with shouts of congratulations.

And suddenly, all the late nights that Uncle David had been having, and all the dates that Jay had been going on all made sense. I never noticed that they corresponded because Uncle David always worked late, it wasn't anything unusual. I just assumed that Jay had met someone she liked but wasn't ready to introduce to her kids yet. But I never thought that this would happen.

My jaw dropped and my blood ran cold. My limbs tingled with the numbness that was settling in, crushing me under it's heavy weight. The entire room seemed to fade into the background, the racuous laughter and merriment suddenly becoming silent. My eyes stared unseeingly ahead. Louis and I.... we were going to be siblings.

7:37 in the evening. That was the time that my world stopped spinning and the sun's furious, burning light was quenched by the secret our parents kept from us.

 

_You want to know what pain is? Pain is never being able to hold him again, to feel the carress of his hands or the sound of his voice, scratchy and rough from lust. It's the faint smell of him lingering on clothes and pillows, surrounding and all consuming to the point of sheer madness._

_Pain is knowing that he may never return to my arms, wrapping his own around me and burying his face in my neck, reverently mouthing along the curve of it. It's the reason that I can't bear to face him, to see how amazingly happy he is without me, the smile that had been reserved for me alone being graced upon another._

_No longer will pain be the thought of him unhappy but the thought of him happy with someone else. It will be how I could never be enough for him, how even as I lie there at night staring up at the ceiling, his side of the bed cold and foreign without him, I will never stop wishing that he had never left._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that is thing. Was anyone surprised? Tell me what you think, I want to know :D. I'm going to be taking a break from writing for a while, I think. Going through a bit of a lazy period. But, hoped you liked it and were actually surprised.
> 
> **Second Story is up. It's called Something Blue**


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